I made the call....

[doblersdream]

Deleted - old news

[BazookaMike]

This is how I see it. She's not into the relationship right now. Leave this one for now and become friends with other girls without worrying about hooking up or anything serious. Don't place yourself around girls that would try to get you in trouble, just find some nice ones. You'll be out there in the dating scene, but still faithful with this one at the same time. Win Win situation.

[dextro]

Thats a good one phil, just be friends for the beginning she will call you back you know that and I know that. But this time dont push things too hard dude. Let it go. Date with her, have fun and when the time come you'll know what to do bro.

 

peace

[doblersdream]

Thanks Mike & Jeff for your replies.

[charmed]

Hi There !

 

Perhaps, she sees meeting the mother as an indicator of a certain stage of a relationship - ie. I've met his mother, marraige is next? I don't know if you should read into it so much, but it is a possible angle.

 

I think you really do have something for this girl. I also think that you have issues just walking away from it - perhaps you feel a bit responsible for the whole situation. You need to remember that it takes two to tango. You can want it all you want, but if she isn't playing ball then you are hitting your head off a wall.

 

I think you definitely keep her in your mind as if perhaps she were away for a few months. Live your life, and keep your head clear knowing that you have still been making the effort. Sit and wait, but don't expose yourself too much. She may turn around at the end of it all and say "it's just not gonna work" and you don't want to have been sitting in for months, then devistated by the news.

 

Loosen your dependence on this one, but let her have the chance of coming back into your life as a partner. You are in control of the situation then.

 

Thanks for the body language info btw ! I'll be trying it out tonight

 

A.

[kddmsu]

My advice to you from a ladies perspective is just to move on and don't look back. From what you described of your conversation, it seems that she might be feeding you some lines. I am sure that there is no cruel intention for what she is doing, and it sounds like she does of course care about you.....but it also sounds like she is trying not to hurt your feelings. She is giving you false hopes about the future, but not completely if that makes sense. You asked if she could see a future between the 2 of you and she said something to the extent that she doesn't know. I can tell you straightforward that if you ever get the answer "i don't know" it means this is my nice way of answering you without hurting your feelings. But on the other hand I don't know you or your ex so it's hard for me to judge..... but from my past experience (which I have a lot of) I would say that she just doesn't want to hurt you, not knowing that she is hurting you more by not being truthful.

 

I have read your posts in this forum before and you seem like a real genuine guy. I think that you need to go out and find someone new, someone who deserves a great guy like you. You absolutley can not put your life on hold for this girl, because you are only going to cause yourself to hurt more. You are alive today to live your life and not hers, and life is too short to waste worrying about someone who isn't giving you anything in return. In a way you are being abused and abusing yourself by waiting for this girl. She doesn't know what she wants in her life, and honestly if she did know, I don't think that it is you. I am soo sorry hun but it is time to move on. Like the old saying goes "If you love something let it go, If it comes back to you it's yours, If it doesn't, it never was" But do go on with your life or you will never truley be happy. I mean think how sad you felt after you talked to her last night, that is how you will continue to feel as long as you wait for her.

[caliboy]

kddmsu nailed it. Move on and don't ever talk to her again. This is the best advice anyone can give you. When she says she doesn't know if it's over permanently means that it is. Don't let her tell you these things, so that you can get off the phone and then think about it and be sad. I've been there before, I've heard the same thing and it's all just her way of being polite. "We will talk again, I know we will" - is just B.S. Move on and don't look back. The sooner you stop talking to her, the sooner you'll move on and meet someone else. And that's the real trick to getting over someone - meet someone else, cause there're definetely much better girls out there. Remember that feeling you got when you and your ex first met and got close? You can go have that again with someone else, but next time, the girl you share this with won't hurt you like this. Now that you've been through this break up and heartache, you'll be much more experienced and prepared for your next relationship. You'll know what to do, you'll know how to make it work and most importantly, you'll be able to avoid this type of pain again.

[doblersdream]

I really appreciate everyone's carefully considered replies.

[bzborow1]

In situations like these i've found that you need to look more at action than words. What has she done to show you she wants a relationship? Nothing. But like most women, with the exception of the strong ones, she is keeping you open as an option for her. She will continue to tell you things like, "friends is great for now...but I don't know about the future, I can't tell you we won't be together in the future, you can't predict that", which is complete crap.

 

That is her way of putting the leash on you mentally. I would suggest you cut ties with her to start. Not permanently if you want, but just for as much time as it takes you to move on from her, to the point when you can come back to her and not see her as a future wife, etc... The second most important thing in my view. Knowledge is power. You shouldn't be telling her you love her anymore because she dumped you, and you saying this and trying to get back with her will only reinforce her "maybe in the future" BS.

 

Be strong...it's easier said than done, but it's worth it in the end.

[bzborow1]

I'm just posting this because you seem to be having a tough time dealing with the loss and how to move on. When my ex of 5 years dumped me it hurt me as much as what you're going through now. Just know that things happen for a reason. She obviously doesn't love you, or she wouldn't need to be alone, and it sounds really romanticized but this could be a sign someone else is waitin for ya!!