we dont want sex, but still want excitment!

[Streblo_Minority]

hey there.

my boyfriend and i have been dating for 5 months today (wow, thats a weird coincidence..) anyways, were both extremely religious and deeply believe in the 'no sex before marriage' idea. lately its gotten hard to live by this. in fact, we had to separate about two weeks ago because of this strain on our relationship (we got back together just 5 days later, but it was still hurtful to both of us).

 

anyways, what im getting at is this-

how can we make our 'inimate' moments intense and meaningful without having sex? any ideas in terms of games, movements, etc? thanks a ton!

[goddess23]

well theres lots of other stuff other then sex so it also depends on your limits sexually. i mean there are lots of physically pleasurable things you can do. to be quite frank a romantic relatioship is diff from a reg friendship because of the physical part for the most part. so you need to be more specific because theres ALOTT of room between holding hands and sex.

 

now as far as non sexual things to keep it oging would be just romantic stuff. going on dates that are romantic and doing sweet stuff for eachother. but i could imagine the sexual tension, my bf and i are under it too and wow its tough so good luck and be a lil more specific.

[Streblo_Minority]

well as far as being more specific...

we make out.. a lot. mostly cause its the only thing we can think of without going as far as sex. theres been touching from both of us both under and over the clothes (he told me to stop touching him tho because it got him too close to the urge to have sex). however, weve never taken our clothes off in front of one another.

basically, were extremely comfortable with each other. theres not a lot that we wont be willing to try. we just need to make sure we dont take that one extra leap into an uncontrollable situation. thanks again!

[goddess23]

ooh okay so you're basically me lol. well i know how it feels. and you feel reallly like you just want to. but i have ALOT of self control. if you know you dont thats good that you can be honest. i think its fine to continue what you're doing just dont do it too often and know your limits. persoanlly im not ready for sex so i wouldnt do it. so if you feel you're not ready for anything dont do it. if you are willing to fine. and make some rules. like...only one person can be bottomless at a time. i told my bf that so it helps that he doesnt take my underwear off because he used to and that would just amke it too close.

[OTHERWISLY]

Well I can certainly understand your desire to enjoy each other, however... if pushing your intimate moments as close to the line as possible is your goal , Well, honestly its only a matter of time before you loose your level-headed balance and free fall into a regrettable, irreversable dilemma. Sex is fine , within the confines of your convictions, just remember ..if you fall, no one will know.. But YOU. And its YOU who has to sleep at night with a clear conscious. Set boundaries and meet publicly for a while to disuade your passions until you move ahead with your relationship into Marriage. My prayers are for the both of you. BrotherB.^i^

[caasiopia68]

well i read in a book that the more comfortable it is to hold hands the easier it is to kiss the more comfortabel it is to kiss then the easier it is to have sex, etc... i agree with no sex before marriage.. well i dont really think its a rule or a law but a wise decision... you cant really stay safe because the closer you get the easier it is to hapen... just dont get tempted into living on the edge of sex...

[caasiopia68]

(he told me to stop touching him tho because it got him too close to the urge to have sex)

thats really awesome of him to do that, but see what i mean?

[Tigris]

I lost my virginity when I was 22, however, I wasn't a little angel either!

My boyfriend at the time (later my husband) and I had a rule that we could simultaneously relieve each other, however, we didn't have any kind of sex. It worked! Oh, downside is always have a lot of paper hankies/toilet roll at hand, you'll need it! Once we were engaged we started making love!

 

Remember a couple who have never made love don't know if they are sexually compatable!

 

I'm not telling you to go ahead and do it. You'll know when you're ready.

 

Good Luck