Need your opinion!!!

[jnelson]

Okay..I have had enough of waiting and wondering what is going on with me and my ex gf of 5 years....shes been off and on etc. for the last while.....one month she says she wants to be together, the next month she acts completely different...

 

We are apart right now (2 hours) and she says she is too busy with work to talk to me on a regular basis...she calls about once a month.....pretty bad excuse..even if she works 70 hours a week (which she says) there is still nearly 100 other hours in the week...I am not looking for a long phone call....5-10 min every other day or something..........we will be in the same city in September for the rest of the year....

 

Here is what I am thinking...since I am tired of not knowing whats going on/waiting for her etc. I want to make a move.....she has told me to enjoy my summer and we will work things out come september.......I don't want to wait until then and I really don't want her to feel (I guess she already does) that she can come and go as she pleases....I am thinking of avoiding all the games and telling her straight up I want to be together and see what she says. I don't know why she wants to wait until september to figure things out but I am not putting my life on hold any longer.....I want to tell her straight up...either she's with me or she's not but at least I will know the answer for sure one way or the other....

 

what do you think?

[Strictly4MyGrind]

She proberly got the idea that your going to wait around for her forever and will always be there while she goes around living her life. i think you either talk to her about it and ask for her a defintite answer she either stays with you or leaves and also that she should make more time for you. Tell her how you feel your problems but also ask her what she would like you to improve. Or the other option if youve had enough tell her you dont like the games anymore and your over and dont want her in your life and move on. Your choice.

[chai714]

I am thinking of avoiding all the games and telling her straight up I want to be together and see what she says. I don't know why she wants to wait until september to figure things out but I am not putting my life on hold any longer.....I want to tell her straight up...either she's with me or she's not but at least I will know the answer for sure one way or the other....

 

what do you think?

 

Her actions speak loudly to me. Previously, you were(and still could be) giving her the psychological comfort of knowing she'll always have you as an option. Her having this 100% confidence will naturally drive down how she values you (as a person and boyfriend). I think this is why she is acting wishy washy with you - because she knows she can get away with it and that you'll be there when SHE'S ready. To answer your question, she'll shoot your offer for a relationship down because her one call per month is "proof in the pudding" that she does not care about you.

[Echo]

She calls you ONCE a month and acts as if you are supposed to

feel SECURE in that?? Oh please.

Don't give her the option of whether she wants to be with you...dump

her butt. You don't need to be treated like an afterthought...which is

EXACTLY what she's doing to you. Grow some balls....and kick her to the curb!!!

[jnelson]

Thank you all for your advice - you are right. I am not handling this situation well at all and I need to get rid of her for good.

 

She will call my crying and begging in about a month and a half..thats a guarantee...and when she does I suppose I will have to do as you guys say and ignore her for good.

[jnelson]

"me", not my...