diesel21 Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 1st of all thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my post. i have a question that i hope someone can offer reflection or an answer towards. i really loved someone for two years but when i felt rejected by him a bit over an year ago i felt like i could never love again. i dont quite feel like trying. in teh past few montsh i picked myself up a bit but now i find myself being very shallow in relationships which leads me to feel guilty and break them off even before i give the other person an fair chance. i just cant bring it to tell them that i will never love them and i am only holding relationships to try to push myself onwards in my life. this is even more difficult considering that i am in college and my friend doesnt understand why i " gave up" at such a young age. i just think something in me wants to just be selfish and "unreal" now. i feel like i gave away an emotion so entirely - love - that i cant bring myself to feel it again. im at my wits end on what road to take with this. shoudl i tell him what i feel now? i dont want to bother him even though he still says we are friends and all, i feel like a nusiance to him! hes really awfully nice but i do want to move on and be happy again with others, does anyone have any advice? thank you. Link to comment
segagirl Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 First i am not sure whom you meant when you said should i tell him...can you clarify> thanks There is nothing wrong with not being ready to "love". I have been without my ex for a little over a year and i have not had a real relationship since. I am just not ready. I date sure, but it does not go beyond that. When you are ready, you will know. For now, try and remember the wonderful feelings that come with love, and that in reality the risk is worth it. Love comes with heartache sometimes, but heartbreak is a part of all our lives, it teaches us about ourseleves as well as what we are really looking for in a mate. college years were meant to be fun, take advantage! Link to comment
Jitrenda Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 Hon...just b/c you are dating someone doesn't mean you HAVE to love them. Not at all you are dating them b/c you like them. Dating does not mean you love them. It just means you like them and get along great. It is good you are pushing yourself onwards. Maybe it would help you if you told them this and they could judge for themselves and see what they want. Just let them know. Communication is a big part. i hope this helps. Feel free to add me if you would like to talk! *Good Luck* Link to comment
diesel21 Posted June 23, 2003 Author Share Posted June 23, 2003 i know i dont haveto love them but this feeling crawls on me when every im with anyone on any sort of social function this grain of thought that wanst to scream out -- and confess that im only here because i made myself id rather be in my room painting away or being the big day dreamer i am. and when people go down that " i really like you/ i had a niec time" bit i just want to cry out of guilt. i dont think im being fair to them, should i admit that? and as to the person i did love, should he know that he was the last person i ever loved even though i only spent a few days with him. or should i leave him be? Link to comment
segagirl Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 agian i think you should focus on you. You dont owe a date an explination on what you feel. ever. maybe if you continue to see someone over say a month, then maybe you have to say hey im not into this. But on a date, no. Say thank you, you had a nice time..and thats it. In regards to the ex. Its been a long time, no need to tell him anything. If its someone you want to see agian, and the breakup was not related to something bad,,,then maybe drop him a line to say hi. I would not tell him how you feel, just say hi and see if he is interested in opening the lines of communication. i do think you should work on you though...so if you would rather stay home and paint, DO IT! Link to comment
dextro Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 yeah mang be fair, be straight! But well hanging out is just about getting along. Don't push yourself too much on relation. Dating isn't a big deal, just havin fun while havin a bud and a cigs with some dude dont stressed out peace Link to comment
diesel21 Posted June 26, 2003 Author Share Posted June 26, 2003 thanks again i read the posts over and over again i feel more " inperspective" now thank you all Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now