A follow-up to my situation from my post a few weeks back...

[Sapphire695]

Some of you...Ballys, Kaboom and a few others probably remember my situation with my crush in my office bldg. (Topic threads "Should I Act on This?" and I also posted in "Is my co-worker flirting with me?")

 

Remember I was telling you guys how we were talking and she was flirting with me and I was going to try to get up the nerve to ask her out to lunch (remember the hoagie line I was going to use?..LOL) Well, anyway, I did mention that I was going to go to Wawa and get a hoagie, but she just smiled and didn't offer for me to go with her (This was 1st thing in the morning, so maybe lunch wasn't on her mind yet?!) I also didn't really initiate anything either or hint going together - just simply said: "I might try one of those hoagies at lunch today".

 

I did bring her into my office this morning to give her about 7 golf brochure cards with coupons on some cards ranging from $5.00 to $20.00 dollars off on admission to various golf courses withing an hour to 2 hour ride from her house. I also gave her an activity magazine for that area that lists all the public and private golf courses. I rented a seashore house for vacation a couple of weeks ago and the realtor gave me an activity package, so I figured why not give all the golf info. to my crush because I know she loves golf. Should that tell her or be a sign to her that I like her? She was cute the other day when I limping due to a sprained ankle. She called my "Gimpy" and when she asked me what happened, I told her that I was playing with the dog that my friend and her partner just got. I did notice that after I mentioned "My friend and her partner", that my crush was making eye contact with me a little more than usual. I just can't come out and ask her if she's lesbian, and I'm still a little gun shy to ask her out anywhere just yet.

 

Do you think that the fact I gave her all those golf brochures/coupons should be a sign to her that I'm interested in her?

[Cadence308]

Yes, that would be enough to let her know that you are interested in her. LOL But, that doesn't mean that you can just sit back and enjoy the ride now. You have work to do. Ask her what she normally eats at the Wawa and ask her what she recommends. SUGGEST her joining you some time.

 

One thing I'm realizing is that dating womyn is VERY different than dating men. There are no social roles, thereforeeee, sometimes lesbians can be very forthcoming either in a positive way or a negative one. That means you can't just sit back and wait for the man to ask you out or make a sexual pass at you.

 

You need to ask her to get together some time!

 

Nice work, thus far!

 

I have a date on Wednesday myself and she made most of the effort!

[hissyfit]

I am brand new here so my advice isn't worth much, but I thought about how I would feel if someone gave me a bunch of stuff on horses (since that's my thing). I would think it a really sweet, thoughtful gesture. I wouldn't think that it meant that person liked me as more than a friend though. Especially if I didn't know that they were lesbian or bisexual.

 

That's my attempt!

[Cadence308]

Good point hissyfit! However, I think I would wonder why is this co-worker giving me so much attention and going out of their way to give me coupons on golfing and stuff. I would start to wonder if she liked me.

 

That's why I think you just need to suggest her joining you to Wawa.

[hissyfit]

Ask her to lunch! That can't be too scary, can it?

[Sapphire695]

am brand new here so my advice isn't worth much, but I thought about how I would feel if someone gave me a bunch of stuff on horses (since that's my thing). I would think it a really sweet, thoughtful gesture. I wouldn't think that it meant that person liked me as more than a friend though. Especially if I didn't know that they were lesbian or bisexual.

 

I know what you mean, but we have been talking and flirting along with eye contact and all back-and-forth.

[Sapphire695]

As always, thanks for the advice!! I am hoping that I can make it easier for her to initiate something in a subtle way.

 

We always talk and acknowledge each other, but there are times that she acts mire interested than others. Is that normal? Can someone like someone, but not always show it?

[Sapphire695]

Hey Ballys, I forgot to say good luck and have fun on your date tom. night!!!

[Cadence308]

Sapphire, thanks. It's at her place and she made a comment about how we both don't have to work the next day so we can stay up as late as we want. This is really our first time hanging out and I like her and want to get to know her. Sex tomorrow would be WAY too fast for me.

 

Back to you, sometimes when a person acts uninterested they may be playing mind games, esp. if the other times she's flirty and attentive. My last crush used to do this to me, which left me wondering. Honestly, just ask her to lunch. Most womyn do not turn down another womyn's invitation to do lunch even if they are in a relationship.

[Sapphire695]

Hey, Ballys - How was your date? I hope it went well!

 

I think my crush is mad at me right now.

Remember I told you guys that I purposely show up for work early and wait in my car for her to pull up so I can see and talk to her (she works in my bldg, but not for the same company, so if I don't go out of my way to see her, it could be hit-or-miss as to when we would see each other, maybe even weeks.) Anyway, I showed up before her like usual, but instead of getting out of my car when I saw her, I just stayed in my car and on my cell phone. I was parked 2 isles behind her and I saw her specifically looking back at my car like 4 times even as she was away from her car and walking into the bldg. Then I happened to see her an hour later in the ladies room and she wasn't even gonna acknowledge me or say hi, then I happened to see her when she was walkling back into the bldg. from lunch when I was outside on my cell phone and she walked right by me and didn't even look in my direction.

 

I guess she took offence to the fact that I just stayed in my car. She must look for my car in the morning. That was the first and only time I did that. I happened to be in the middle of a call - and I also thought it would be good to just hang back a little this morning because I don't want her to realize that I am going out of my way to see her, so I was just trying to be a little coy, I guess.

 

If we're not even dating and she gets like that over me not walking in w/her...what would she be like in a relationship....LOL Do you think if she's mad over that she is getting a little carried away?

[Cadence308]

Maybe you should have just waved to acknowledge her?

 

Welcome to the world of lesbians and womyn. LOL I think lesbians are more jealous and possessive than men are. We are womyn and tend to get our feelings hurt easily.

 

It's a sign that she's interested and feels rejected. When you saw her in the bathroom you should have just said, "Hey, I saw you this morning. I would have walked with you, but I was on my cell phone. I was going to ask you what you are doing for lunch today and if you wanted to join me at the Walla Walla?" I think that's somewhat non-committal.

 

You just need to quit playing head games and cut to the chase before she loses interest. That's what happened with me and my last crush, I think.

 

I'll make a post about my date. UGH!

[mgirl]

Yes, i agree with Ballys. You need to stop playing mind games and strike while the iron's hot.

 

The fact that she seemed disappointed that you didn't approach her in the car park suggests to me there IS some emotional stuff there, although she may have just been respecting your privacy, but given what i know about women, they do get more emotional than men and will often react this way. Hell, i do! I guess if i get disappointed, i tend to withdraw and move on rather than behave passive aggressively (you get too old for mind games ).

 

I would go with the lunch thing. What you said in your first post was good, but just add, "do you want to come?", or "have you tried one"?

 

Yes, definitely time to move to the next phase

[skyblue]

Any proggress sapphire?.. she still ignoring you?. You say that she has hogies everyday?.. why not time it so that you both go to lunch at same time and conveniently bump into her while queuing for food?. Perhaps then you guys can talk a bit longer.. maybe even sit down together etc?;-)

[Sapphire695]

Actually, I think the reason why she tried to ignore that day (Friday) was because I just stayed in my car on the cell phne instead of walking in with her when I saw her.

 

Anyway, when I saw her a few days later, she was back to her normal self. It was kinda cute....she said to me "I missed you this morning" (she usually says that when she doesn't see me in the morning), "but I knew I wouldn't see you because I had to come in real early this morning" Then she continued to tell me that she didn't come in on Monday, couldn't stay late, and was working more hours to clean up her desk before vacation.

 

She's been away on vacation this week, so I'll see what's up with her next week when she comes back.

 

I really thinks she likes me from the things she says and the little bit of flirting, but I think we're both just too gun shy (so to speak). If I'm not reading too much into it, just from the fact that she seemed not too talkative and wasn't going to say HI because I wouldn't walk in with her kinda tells me something. And, she must look for me in the morning, and just the fact that she said "I missed you this morning, but I knew I wouldn't see you", tells me that she obviously thinks about seeing me. Would you have the same assumption?

[Cadence308]

Yes, it really does sound like she likes you and she must think about you if she is missing you.

[Sapphire695]

She comes back from vacation on Monday, so when I see her in the parking lot, I'm gonna tell her that I missed her, and then I'm gonna say: "We should go to lunch sometime". I'm curious to see what kind of response I'll get from that. That way I figure I'm putting it out there a little more that I am interested without coming directly out and asking her to lunch. I guess you can say I'm doing it indirectly. How does that sound?