Ugly, lonely and nobody loves me!

[Shinobie]

One question about ur meter dudecar about people being attracted to each other.I dont understand why people have to be bad looking and the others can be surpisingly beautiful?.It just doesnt seem fair at all but ah whoe cares iono.Back to music it make sme happy.

[wlfpack81]

As dudecar has stated tests have shown that people of equal attractive (or ugliness if you want to look at it that way) tend to hook up. If one partner is greatly better looking than another then it tends not to work out b/c the said partner knows they can do better and the other will feel insecure most of the time b/c they're probably shocked at the "catch" they have at the moment.

 

However, I don't always agree with a 5 being attracted to a 5. Being honest here I'm probably about a 4 or 5 yet I can't help but being attracted to those 7-10's. I mean I'm a man and who wouldn't. There are girls who I know are probably more within my range but I can't help not really being attracted to some of them. Of course though since I know I can't get above a 6 at best I'll probably have to end up choosing b/t settling in the future or just staying single. Yes what I said was just harsh but hey unlike others at least I'm being honest. Just b/c I'm ugly doesn't mean I want to date others I find unattractive and it's not going to stop me from being attracted to girls out of my league though again I wouldn't make move on these girls b/c again they're out of my league.

[Dre_7]

You say you're being honest, but I think you're just defeating yourself beforehand without any concrete evidence. What if a girl that you consider absolutely beautiful was interested in you? Would you turn her down because you think you're ugly? She doesn't think you're ugly...so I think that should give you and confidence boost, and motivate you to go for her..You don't have to "settle" for anything, unless you want to kick yourself for the rest of your life and have an unfulfilling relationship.

I'm not saying you have to pursue supermodels, because heck, I wouldn't..but still, at least love yourself so much that you want the best that life has to offer for yourself, in terms of a job, in terms of a relationship etc.

And my take on the whole concept of leagues is that, those people in higher "leagues" just wear more make up, drive nicer cars, have bigger biceps lol. It's like sports, the higher you go, the more you put into it. And anyone can be attractive to SOMEONE, being in shape and well put together is 75% of the battle. The rest is natrual charm, intellect, and chemistry. Just my 2 cents...

[ShySoul]

On this whole ranking thing, isn't that just a way to talk yourself out of something? It's creating this unnecessary barrier that prevents you from taking a chance on someone who is supposedly more attractive. Could it be that the reason you don't see as many "5's" with "10's" simple be that they talk themselves out of it without giving it an honest try? A "5" says he or she isn't up to that standard whereas a "10" buys into the idea that he or she shouldn't be with someone supposedly beneath her. It's all shallowness and an excuseto just get out there and go for something.

 

And for all the talk of average and high rankings, has anyone ever honestly rated someone a 1? If you have, don't you think thats being just a tad mean? And if you haven't, whats the point of a scale if the range isn't being used?

 

dudecar46, I get his point, but I challenge the premise upon which it stands. And if that basis doesn't hold up, the whole argument collapses. See, this is why people get annoyed with me. 8)

 

I also think that any ranking will be entirely skewed by your feelings for the person. I'm absolutely crazy for one girl who doesn't meet the stereotypical version of a 10. But because of her heart, personality, and what she means to me, I don't think a 10 even begins to do her justice. On the other hand, if someone did something really mean to you, when you look at her those bad feelings will affect your judgement andher ranking would be lower, no matter her appearance.

[ReaderGrrl]

For example, I'm in my early twenties and have never been on a date. Yeah, I can start now, but this has really done a number on my self-esteem. I just have this idea that the only people who would want to go out with me now would be...um...people I wouldn't like much at all. I mean, this is a young woman who is still learning how to make friends, which most people learned in elementary school. So it's like, I can get started, but being this far behind is so humiliating.

[Caldus]

For example, I'm in my early twenties and have never been on a date. Yeah, I can start now, but this has really done a number on my self-esteem. I just have this idea that the only people who would want to go out with me now would be...um...people I wouldn't like much at all. I mean, this is a young woman who is still learning how to make friends, which most people learned in elementary school. So it's like, I can get started, but being this far behind is so humiliating.

 

I'm still learning how to make friends myself. A lot of people around our age are still learning (even if they don't admit it).

[MetallicAguy]

Well for those that are learning out there but are too shy to admit it you don't have to ask! I'll just tell you what works for me.

 

 

I'm pretty comfortable with myself which puts other people at ease (laid-back). Some people can't force thereselves to be laid-back and if you can't change that it's not a big deal no one is perfect.

 

I can make most people laugh, and laugh hard if I want to (except for very few stuck up rich kids.) Jokes that work for me aren't ones that are stupid ones that anime loving geeks have and ones that demented people like Matt Stone and Trey Parker have. (Although Team America was some funny stuff ).

 

I have friends who have similar interests. Like a lot of my friends don't listen to rap, and listen to rock, punk, hxc as I do.

 

It helps to be optimistic, people like for example guys that want a certain girl and go suicidal over it, no one wants to hang around you if your constantly down and stuff. That goes for getting a gf too, a girl doesn't want to get to know someone depressed, we date (this is just one reason) to fill the "cracks" in our life, why would we want to hang around someone depressed. The only way that'd work is if someone were depressed and the other person was too, they'd have a greater chance of clicking.

 

It's kind of good to get to know the person's "background" like personality before you know them by asking your friends what their like.

 

But then again I can make friends easily because I am an extrovert, and am good at social skills for some reason it's like my hidden talent lol.

[Caldus]

Honestly, I think for me it's just that I've continously hung out with the wrong type of people throughout my life. And I keep doing it over and over when I don't even mean to. It's weird.

[MetallicAguy]

Same thing with me. I used to hang out with the popular people (wrong type of people) now I hang out with people in the "middle" who are still kinda the wrong type of people. I still have 2 best friends though I've never had any problems with. But then again I've known them pretty much all my life lol.

[dudecar46]

"I also think that any ranking will be entirely skewed by your feelings for the person. I'm absolutely crazy for one girl who doesn't meet the stereotypical version of a 10. But because of her heart, personality, and what she means to me, I don't think a 10 even begins to do her justice"

 

Whichy is exactly my point. Although my professor did propose that a ficticious "ranking" system exists, he says it works because if, hypothetically, two 5s hook up, they are able to view each other as 10s. Nowhere in my argument did I state that people are willing to "settle for less", and I know that I am probably a 5 or a 6, but I have fallen head over heels for someone my friend actually called a "4.5". But to me, as Shysoul stated, she is a 10+, and this is the point that my professor was trying to drive home; a 5 is usually able to find more emotionally, deep things in common with other 5s, and are more apt to meet due to a perceived comfort level.

 

I definitely see where anyone would see holes in my argument, but that is exactly the point, there are holes and exceptions. However, in no way was I advocating that a 5 should refuse a date from a 10, but instead that due to a lack of comfort, the 5 and a 10 are less likely to interact with one another.

 

But every criticism is valid, and it allows me to see what my professor taught me in a whole new light.