these questions are taking over my life, opinions please!

[Jerseygirl]

background info: he and I began being involved the night he dumped his ex (gf of 8 months)...the whole time he made sure to know that i know he doesnt want a relationship or anything serious like he had with the ex. He said she was over protective, jealous, all the bad things an ex could be....

As things progressed with us he got scared and backed away. thereforeeee i pulled further away resulting in him coming back saying hes stupid for wakling away from me, that im not his ex girlfriend and if things progress into a rltnship then so be it. However, this attitude of his faded when certain situations reflected that of a serious relationship...little things like me putting my head on his lap!!

 

 

 

So now, I learned he cant give me what i want, but i have hope for something. In HS he was known as a great bf...until he got messed up by the previous ex gf. Ive realized im not getting what i want so i asked him what he wanted..he admitted he's confused and that it is unfair to me bc i receive all these mixed signals...thereforeeee i told him to do me a favor and dont give me anymore mixed signals...ever since that convo we havent really spoken....once he IMed me but wasnt making conversation, almost like he just acted on his impulse when he saw my SN pop up on his BL but then realized he wasnt supposed to talk to me...

 

Anyways, im kinda confused. I think he took the convo as me ending things when i was merely telling him how i feel. thereforeeee he kinda "jumped the gun" and was like "you're right".....huh? i wasnt stating any solutions, just my feelings...i think he took it as "if shes gonna end it i should quickly agree with her so i dont seem like the guy who got dumped"...Hes worked this way before, so im pretty positive thats what happened. I didn't intend to make it so that we dont speak now (altho this will help me get over him)....I dont understand though, is he not IMing me because he wants to protect his ego from a girl who ( what he thinks) decided that getting together with him was not the smart thing to do...or is he respecting me by not giving me mixed signals (althohg IMing me wasnt what i meant!) The thing is, i know he would be contacting me now just like he was in the beginning of the summer, if i didnt bring anything up.

 

Anyway, i absolutely dont intiate any contact but everyday i hope he'll call or IM me or text me....since this is what occurred in the past with him....but i always made a mistake....keeping physical contact. When he came around i would easily give in but now i realized physical and emotional are connected and i just cant do that anymore. If he does come around i know how i will act, i will not settle for less than i want!!!! im just wondering........and would like to think that he is missing me. I find it hard to believe that he isnt. I want to think that i am the one with more power here. I just wonder if its only ME who is looking at the sn and wishing he'd IM me....i wonder if he does the same to my sn?? I know this is such petty stuff but it kills me nonetheless and i would reALly love to get opinions...Looking at it with a psychological outlook, now that i told him i cant, won't he want it (me) more? I didnt go on no contact terms to make him want me more, i did it for myself, because i wasn't getting what i wanted, but i cant help but think what its doing to his mind......

[precious_babae]

You have to talk talk talk talk to him. You arent going to get anywhere by keeping exactly how you are feeling locked up inside or written on the internet. He NEEDS to know that you had no intentions on completely ending things and you were just getting worried about what was going on between the two of you. Let him know that you still want to talk if he is comfortable by it. Make a move girl!