need advice, saw ex after 4 months

[threetwo32]

Hi everyone, I have posted a few messages about all of this but basically, about 4 months ago, my girlfriend left me after six years. Being from out of state, I figured that she would move back home. She ended up moving back into the same community as I live now. Anyway, she has avoided all contact with me, changing phone numbers, etc....She has called a few times once at 4 in the morning but I never tried to get into contact with her.....Well, about two weeksago, My friend tells me how well she is doing in her new job, about how much money she is making, she had just bought a new BMW and about how happy she is. Than kinda made me jealous and kinda made me upset. So anyway, the other day, I saw her getting coffee literally at a place 4 houses from my house. So I said hi and all of trhat and she was visiblely upset. She was shaking, tearing up and really could not speak.....I guess I figured after 4 months, she would be ok. Anyway, she pulls over to talk and I said to wait since, I was going to get coffee also. Well when I came out, she was pulling away. Also, she had the same car that we had when we were together, so the whole BMW thing was a lie, I guess to make me jealous. I guess I don't know what to think. After seeing her so upset, I figure that she still has feelings for me, but something is holding her back. Also, the lies about the car, What is that? I don't know, I know trhat now is not the time to try for a reconcilation but eventiually, this is what I want. I guess that, after 4 months, she would either just ignore me and tell me to leave her alone or at least be over it and have a conversation with me. It was just really weird. I am thinking of sending her a letter and trying ti establish contact with her again. Thanks for reading and any advice on what she might be thinking as well as advice on wheather or not I should try to contact her would be greatly appreciated. Hope all of you are doing well. Thanks

[deviousj420]

just call her.... write her... ask her what happened the other day when u saw her, u curious u want to kno.. you wont kno until u try, and find out right from the person who can only truly honestly tell you...

dont be pushy, just let her kno you wanna kno whats goin on then causally bring up her "new car" dont be argumentive, just be causual about it....

call her n ask her..

she knows

we dont

this is my advice

go for it killer!

[PlayBrat]

People are very weird when it comes to confronting someone

about something that might make them emotional.

I'm a fairly logical person...so if I were to use logic and not emotion

to give you advice, I would have to say that your ex'es reaction was not that

of a person who is ready to have contact with you. You said she was visibly "shaken"...are you sure this wasn;t out of fear of something? You said she pulled away in her car after you asked her to wait. Again, not the actions of someone who wants to talk to you. Not only this but you also said she's changed her phone nimber etc. Why did she lie about the car?? Who knows? Maybe she was driving someone ELSES BMW and wanted to seem like a bigshot. Maybe she is dillusional. Maybe she has a split personality and really believes she has a new car. No one knows but her. What you need to focus on here are the FACTS...and not try to dissect this into something it isn't, Personally, from what you've said...she sounds like she wants nothing to do with you. My advice is to leave her alone and keep moving on. If she wanted to talk to you she would have. I think sending her a letter now would be a serious detriment to you.

Chalk it up and move on.

Good luck.

[heloladies21]

She sounds a little crazy. It's been 4 months and that's way too long to decide if you want to get back together with somebody. Stay out of contact. She left you, if she wants back in, she'll have to let you know and convince you into it. Talk to other girls. Talk to a lot of them.

[threetwo32]

Thanks for responding......She did e-mail me the other night. I don't kniow wheather or not to write her back. Basically, she said she is trying to find herself, it sucks being alone and she wants to be friends but its too early......Seems that she is either trying to get a reaction out of me or she is in trouble somehow and is trying to get back into my life.....I have no clue....Should I write het back or stay out of contact and let her come to me?....Thanks