Talk with Ex, input ??

[misery12]

Today, I talked to my ex after my soccer game, and I told her I scored, because I am in a league older than my age, and she always jokes about how im not good, so I had to show her!

OFF TOPIC

 

anyways, we started talking, and I asked what she did today, she said she hung out with 3 of her girl friends, and then at around 3 a guy named Steve came up to her house, because he was babysitting down the road. She was telling me about the fun they had.. how they pushed him in the pool, and things like that.

 

Well, she used to like him for a little bit.. about 2 months before we started going out. He has a girlfriend too, but she wasn't there. Anyways, my ex says that they're having "funday mondays" every weekend from now on, because he babysits up the road, and he is gonna start to come and hang out with the 4 of them every monday now..

 

the thing is, he's only there for a few hours because then the girls have to go to soccer every monday night.

 

I started to feel jealous, and then I asked her what she's doing tomorrow, and she said "going to the beach, you can come". so now tomorrow I am going to the beach with her and some people (steve isn't coming) and then me, my ex, my friend, and his girlfriend are coming back to my house around 5 to have a BBQ and swim.

 

Then this weekend I am havinga pool party (steve's not coming) . My ex and I listed who we want coming yesterday.

 

So, I am just asking for opinions.. does it just seem that he's just coming up to hang out? I just felt jealous that they're doing this every week now.. but the thing is.. the other 3 girls are all single.. and he has a girlfriend, so I don't think I have too much to be worried about, plus we're hanging out all tomorrow together, and this weekend too!

 

 

P.S - there's a chance my ex and I will get back together in the future, she told a mutual female friend of ours that she wants to be friends for right now, and then she;ll see how things go. at least she's considering.

 

SO, what do you guys think, am I just worrying about nothing, and should I just show her that im cool with it, so I don't come off as this insecure needy guy.

Tonight when she told me, I was really up beat, and I was laughing with her and stuff, and said "that must have been really fun" and things like that.

[Hope75]

Mis,

 

Are you going to talk to the ex and get this bs out in the open and get your resolution one way or another, or are you going to keep floating with the tide and get pulled in and then pushed out randomly whenever your ex feels like it.

 

"We decided who was coming to my pool party"? It sounds like your ex is getting all the fun and good stuff from you without the commitment. You jump when she calls, and you hang back when she's splashing in the pool with the guy she had a crush on. What are you doing?

 

How long are you willing to torture yourself before you have had enough?

 

Every day there is a new thread on here from you: She said this, what does it mean? She told her friend that, what does that mean? She did this, how should I read it?

 

For the love of Mike, ASK HER IF SHE WANTS TO TRY AGAIN.

 

If not, leave her be, and stop this nonsense!

 

If yes, take it slow and see what happens!

 

You have no direction to walk in right now so you are spinning and spinning and making us all dizzy.

 

Get your answer, and stop mucking around!

[misery12]

 

 

 

ummm... okay sorry?

 

It's a little harder than that.. you of all people must know that you cannot post exactly what you're feeling, nor what exactly happens in every situation.

 

I would have asked her already, but I never have the oppurtunity too.

I don't want to ask her over IM.. so I wait until I see her in person, and that comes to be at a soccer game or something where it isn't suitable!!

 

So now we're going to the beach.. we're going to have a good time, and at my pool party I will talk to her. When we're alone, I will ask her if she wants to take things slow again with me, I have this already thought out.

I was just looking for input.

 

Also, we were deciding who we wanted because we have the same friends and she is one of my best friends, so why not?

I like the same people she does, she dislikes the same people I do.

[misery12]

I'll try not to post until something acually important comes up.

[Hope75]

I'm sorry Mis,

 

I know I came accross as really harsh, and I don't mean to snap at you. I really think you are a good person, it's just frustrating so see you agonizing over this so much.

 

I really do think you just need to talk with her about this and get a direction for yourself. This has been going on for a while now and you aren't being fair to yourself by living in limbo.

 

Sorry I snapped.

 

Forgive me?

 

Hope

[brando]

misery12,

 

if you get a moment alone with her tomorrow, try talking to her then. Ask her to take a walk along the beach, ten fifteen minutes.. or maybe make plans after the beach just for the two of you to talk.

 

You need to get it out in the open, and be prepared if she tells you she may just want to be friends.

[annie24]

Hi Mis,

 

I know - it's so easy for us to sit here and say, "go talk to her!" but things are always harder when you are in the situation yourself. Ultimately, you won't find the answer to your question here. You have to go straight to the source - not her friends, not us, but her. She's the only one who knows how she feels about you...

 

I mean, I dunno.... from everything you've written, I'd say you have a 50-50 shot at getting her back, but you have to make a move. If for no other reason than your sanity.

 

Sometimes not knowing is harder. I've been in situations where I've been crazy about a guy, but didn't know what was up. Then, they break up with me, or I find out they're already seeing someone, or whatever. Initially, it's hard, but trust me, you get over it, and you meet someone that totally makes you feel happier, and then you are glad you moved on.

 

Good luck.

[brando]

good point Annie.

 

We can only speculate.

 

Enjoy the day tomorrow, maybe no relationship talk, but ask her if she wants to walk the beach... she may like that.