Do you think there is a chance she still likes me?

[dogstar]

Alright here's the deal. I met this girl earlier in the school year. She had a boyfriend when I met her, but we were pretty good friends. Later on she went to a school dance with her boyfriend, and I went with one of her friends (just as friends), so I could see her there. Two weeks later I hear she broke up with her boyfriend. We did some stuff together, a couple of dates. Then later I asked her if she would consider stepping up our relationship. She said she wasn't ready after breaking up with her boyfriend, but that we should still go on dates. Then two days later she tells me that she changed her mind, and decides she'd like to go out with me. So things are going good. The bad part is for easter break she was gone, and right before easter break she was gone in another state as well. So this was two weeks that she was gone out of state, right after she decided she liked me enough to go out with me. After she got back though, things just weren't the same. It's really sort of hard to remember what happened; things just slowed down. A lack of effort on my part I believe it was. So then I talked to her online a couple weeks later, and I get the whole "just want to be friends" thing. Yeah so this is confusing me...and it gets worse. Ok so we stopped doing things with eachother after that, but I think I still like her. We still talked with eachother every day at school. Now it's the summer. School's been out for about a week now. I just talked to her online. She was the one who initiated the conversation with me! So we talk for a bit, and SHE says that we should get together and do something. Yeah, she said it. I'm like yeah we should. Then later I go online again, and she initiates a conversation with me. So now in a few days shes coming to my house and we're going to go to a park. We're gonna walk and bike ride. Just us two.

 

My question is should I tell her how I still feel about her? The reason she wanted to be friends was because she didn't think that I liked the same things she does, as much as she does. But I think that its ok to have a girlfriend that has some different interests than you do, because we still have stuff in common! And even so, we can still go out and do the things she likes, and what I like, because it can still be fun! Get what I'm saying?

 

So here are the questions:

 

1) Should I tell her that I still like her?

 

2) Do you think there is a chance she still likes me?

 

3) What are some good things to do at the park? It's a big place, you can go far back where there are tables, volleyball nets, trails, etc etc.

 

4) How should I act around her since I like her, but I'm totally confused as to whether she still likes me, or if we could sort of "start over" or somethign?

[Foreigner]

Hey dogstar,

 

I have bad news and good news. Read on...

 

As it traditionally happens, I'll start from the bad ones.

 

She said she wasn't ready after breaking up with her boyfriend, but that we should still go on dates.

 

After breaking up with her boyfriend she had suddenly found herself alone, a fact that she had probably seen as somewhat questioning her success as a girl. Knowing that you like her, and should be interested in being with her - she has found the best remedy to her recent loneliness and perhaps a way to show her boyfriend and other people that she is an attractive and pursued girl, because as soon as she broke up with her boyfriend - she is going to dates with another enthusiastic wooer.

 

Seeing you as a nice person, but not being sexually attracted to you, she didn't feel like attaching too much to you.

 

 

Then two days later she tells me that she changed her mind, and decides she'd like to go out with me.

 

Thinking, talking with people, observing other people's behaviour etc. made her think that this is not enough and you were already straight on your way to actually become a classic rebound relationship.

 

 

After she got back though, things just weren't the same.

 

After being away, having some fun, getting more in ease with the idea of her being alone, and less in ease with initiating a romantical relationship with someone whom she is not attracted to - she made up her mind that she'd better do not become exclusive with you.

 

 

A lack of effort on my part I believe it was.

 

Chances are that you shouldn't blame yourself here. Perhaps even the opposite could be right...

 

 

So then I talked to her online a couple weeks later, and I get the whole "just want to be friends" thing.

 

Exactly. She doesn't want to insult you, so that you'll keep wooing her, but nor does she want to be your girlfriend as she is not attracted to you. Guess what is her best way out?

 

 

Yeah so this is confusing me...

 

Does it still confuse you?

 

 

I think I still like her.

 

I'm sorry that I have to say that, but you'll have to deal with this feeling.

 

She was the one who initiated the conversation with me! So we talk for a bit, and SHE says that we should get together and do something. Yeah, she said it. I'm like yeah we should. Then later I go online again, and she initiates a conversation with me. So now in a few days shes coming to my house and we're going to go to a park. We're gonna walk and bike ride. Just us two.

 

It's either that she feels alone again because she finds herself being less in a company in summer that during school, or she's simply being an egoistic beeyotch that want's to keep you doing what you've been doing till now (givng her attention, and proving again and again her femininity/sexuality - for her, and for others).

 

 

The reason she wanted to be friends was because she didn't think that I liked the same things she does, as much as she does.

 

A guy can be that naive only when he's infatuated.

 

So here are the questions:

 

1) Should I tell her that I still like her?

 

2) Do you think there is a chance she still likes me?

 

3) What are some good things to do at the park? It's a big place, you can go far back where there are tables, volleyball nets, trails, etc etc.

 

4) How should I act around her since I like her, but I'm totally confused as to whether she still likes me, or if we could sort of "start over" or somethign?

 

1. In your case it's NO. You want to break this game of her. This is the only way for you to stopped being played by her. This is the only way to get her out of your head if she doesn't like you (and I can say that it's 95% that she doesn't), and the only way to make her be attracted to you either. Be kind with her, but keep yourself above her. Always. You can sometimes tell her you're busy (and it would be better for you in general if you really WERE busy), you can tell her that you're can't meet from time to time if she initiates something.

 

Play harder to get. People don't want something they get for free, especially if they are convinced "please, PLEASE take it".

 

2. Statistically - yes. Practically, when the chance is 95% that she don't you'd better act like she don't if you don't want to screw a good couple of years of your life, and possibly have a trauma for the rest of it. Solve your problem now! Start learning how to understand women and how to behave with them!

 

3. Volleyball sounds nice. Especially if you play well, or at least better than her. Don't do anything romantic. Do whatever you'd do with a guy friend of yours there.

 

You can even play her back like: ride fast, pick on her that she gets tired and tell her that you want to ride a bit more and she may wait for you if she likes. Here I count on you that you can choose something suitable.

 

What if she'll leave you ask? Nothing bad that I can see. It can perhaps stop her game, make you stop loving her at some point, or if you do the teasing light and correct enough - you may even make her like you (but don't COUNT on that).

 

4. Act with her like she was a female friend of you. Don't ever feel or show her that you need HER or her love. You can slightly express your sexuality, but being new in this game you can see this girl only as a training, because for you this is all she is. For all 100%.

 

Any questions?

PM me.

 

Good luck!

 

Foreigner.

 

P.S.: Oh, I almost forgot the good news! The good news are that you have a good reason to make a very positive change in your life. Of course you've got to put A LOT of willingness and effort...

[dogstar]

but she is really nice, not the type that would "use" anybody or anythign even remotely close to that...

 

but why would she be making the effort to get together and do something with me?

[Dork_Tee]

Dude you have to realize this girl is playing you up. Just cause shes nice don't mean she isn't playing you. You need to just get over this girl and move on. There be other fish in the sea. How about just be friends with her like you are doing ok. Hope this clears up what that guy said above in just a few less words. love always Tee