different "cliques"... plz post your opinion

[Stinkweed]

Yeh, this will probably seem like a weird question... But you see, the last day of school, something kinda sparked my curiosity... Well, or one of those last days of school... Anyway, what I saw was a couple and it was a regular "preppy" girl (or whatever...) and a goth guy. So, my friend who's a girl and she's like a heavy metal girl was like "Hey, look at that couple. I think it's soooo cute!!!", lol. Anyway, I was wondering if that sort of thing even mattered at all... Like if a guy is a punk rocker, a goth, a metalhead, whatever... Would he still be able to get ANY girl, or would like 90% of them judge him before even knowing him (and in that case none of those girls would be worth it if they're so judgemental) unless they belong to his same "sub-group" or whatever? The thing is I ask because I think ppl do care, but I, instead, hate to talk about "sub-groups", cause I believe it doesn't matter which one you belong to, it should be the same... Thus I have friends from various and I try to have more friends of greater variety... Cause for me they're all the same... just ppl.

[Stinkweed]

Nobody wanna give their personal opinion?

[ShySoul]

The thing with "sub-groups" is that they have similarities in interests, and thats always a major factor in deciding to be with someone. They may feel that they relate with each other better and thus communicate easier and better. On the other hand, someone who doesn't get that "culture" would have a harder time connecting with the person. I certainly wouldn't enjoy alot of the things a heavy metal girl would like.

 

Having said that, can we really classify anyone? Some people may really like certain things such as heavy metal but they'll also like other things. People have all kinds of facets to there personalities and anykind of classification is just creating artificial boundaries. Appreciate people for who they are. You can learn alot from people who seem to be part of a different sub-group, become friends, and even have relationships with them.

[easyguy]

Cliqs (or however you spell it) is a better word to describe it. You have the goths, the jocks/preps, anime ppl, etc.

 

There more people than you think that are friends with someone that you would least expect would be friends with that person. And who knows, maybe that preppy girl you mentioned has known that guy for a long time and knows what he is like in the inside and doesn't care what he dresses like or acts sometimes.

 

In high school it is less common to find someone less judgemental of others based on looks because teens are marketed in a way that makes it seem like there is a RIGHT way to look.

[kiwifly]

I think it works both ways. Of course at first that initial label would influence the judgement of that individual, but I think if they are willing to take the next step and get to actually know the person, then it is possible for members of any group to date one another.

 

From my own experience in high school, I recall very few of these types of couples though, because of course peer pressure and public image (all those high school staples) also come into play.

 

Its very good that you see everyone as the same though, most people in high school don't come to grasp that idea until they're out of there!

[Stinkweed]

Yeh, that's exacly my point... There's tons of things besides clothes and music... Even if one person doesn't agree in those 2 with say a goth, there might be other stuff they can agree with... My favorite genres of music are probably the least popular or nonexistent here, but I still find ppl I can relate in other things with (it's hard sometimes cause I would need to express myself better in order to find even more ppl, cause sometimes I'm just bottled up... but that's another story...). But say someone thinks like you kiwifly that it would take longer time knowing the person to take the next step because the initial label would influence the judgment of the individual: Wouldn't that change though if he is say, a good flirt? Or what if he acts nice towards the girl and says funny stuff and she thinks he's funny too... Wouldn't that change things? What I'm trying to say is what if the guy, despite being a punk rocker or whatever, has a "magnetic" personality and is confident and manages to be nice to a girl and be funny, etc, all that which comes in with attraction... Would he still be at a disadvantage? Or does he have the same chance as if he was a "regular" guy?

[SkyFire]

Be your own person dude. I am really into deathmetal/grind and thrash, yet I dress however I want. I dont only wear stuff typical metalheads wear. I also hang out with whoever I want.

 

Dont put people in these "sub groups" as you call them. They are all people. Talk and be friendly with everyone, no matter if theyre popular or totally antisocial. Judge people by character.

 

Another thing: Dont judge people solely on who they hang out with or how popular they are. You will be surprised how many of these popular people are really insecure with themselves, how the guys who act like they are the **** and bully people around are the biggest cowards when it comes to life.

[Stinkweed]

Be your own person dude. I am really into deathmetal/grind and thrash, yet I dress however I want. I dont only wear stuff typical metalheads wear. I also hang out with whoever I want.

 

Dont put people in these "sub groups" as you call them. They are all people. Talk and be friendly with everyone, no matter if theyre popular or totally antisocial. Judge people by character.

 

Another thing: Dont judge people solely on who they hang out with or how popular they are. You will be surprised how many of these popular people are really insecure with themselves, how the guys who act like they are the **** and bully people around are the biggest cowards when it comes to life.

 

I never said I judge ppl like that or that I put them in this "sub groups". In fact, I know many kinds of ppl, and I talk and am friendly with everyone. My question is about the others who I'm sure don't think the same way I do... I just wanted to know how many judged ppl like that, and if belonging to a "different" groupe lessened their chances with girls from a different "sub group"...

[Stinkweed]

I also hang out with whoever I want.

 

Dont put people in these "sub groups" as you call them. They are all people. Talk and be friendly with everyone, no matter if theyre popular or totally antisocial. Judge people by character.

 

Another thing: Dont judge people solely on who they hang out with or how popular they are.

 

And basically I wanted to know, maybe from a girl's perspective, if a guy from a different "clique", say he's a punk rocker that dresses up and has the big spikey hair, acts just like you said, would he have the same chances as a guy from the same "clique" of that girl or would his chances be lessened because he likes to dress up differently?

 

I just still don't believe I've had a 100% definitive answer... cause sure the taste in clothes and music can be different... but that stuff has never got in my way... And I was thinking of changing my look as well... I just hope it doesn't get in my way either...

[lifeiscash]

Back in high school I was a jock/prep.. pretty much in the social crowd, homecoming court, mr mhs nominee, all that. Ill be honest and say I was pretty snobby and I did judge people based on cliques. It is a big deal in high school because these "sub-groups" can often times be very stereotypical. My opinion to you, is to just be comfortable with who you are. Don't change things drastically about you if you are happy looking and being the way you are. If you are into a preppy girls and your are heavy metal, then sure they are going to be stereotypical most times. You will either have to change some part of yourself to address the issue or just find other girls that may interest you. But like I addressed at the very beginning, if you are happy with the way you are and how you present yourself, then nothing else should matter. Be confident and don't let stupid stereotypical views (like mine) get in your way of thinking.

 

And to answer your question: It depends on the girl... but usually the type of "sub group" that she is in, is usually what she will be interested in. I hope thats what you are asking.

[randy]

90% of them judge him before even knowing him

 

ABSOLUTELY . . . a person's outer appearance is the first image MOST see . . . But once you get talking to someone , that image can completely change . . . CHARISMA and Black Lipstick goes a longgggggggg wayyyyyyyy . . .

[Stinkweed]

Cool... I was also wondering, cause I wanted to change my look for next year... Something that reflects more my personality (no lipstick, though, lol... Something original that I haven't seen around...)... I feel like I've been holding this one in for too long... I'll still behave the same toward ppl though... I've never been successful with girls, but I was hoping on working on that a little bit more (and talking to ppl in general...). So, I personally hope that this change won't get in my way when trying to socialize and even getting a girl (hopefully I will have a chance)...

[ShySoul]

A man should be judged based upon the content of his character and who he is, not by the clothes he wears, his hair style, his "clique." Even if 90% of people judge you based on appearance, forget them and focus on the other 10%. Why become one of the masses, doing things because thats how they are done, when you can be different, an individual? Don't join a subgroup, be your own subgroup.

 

And even among the same sub groups, there can be all kinds of sub-sub groups. My high school was the top school in the city, pretty much where the brians go. But that doesn't mean we were geeks and nerds. Everyone one of us was unique, and deserved to be viewed as such instead of lumped in with a whole large groups.

[skyteph]

In a perfect world ShySoul, that might be how everyone is judged, but in high school that's not how it is at all.

 

I think alot of people in high school are part of "cliques" because we all want to express ourselves, and since our friends or the people we hang around with have similar interests it gives the image that we are this little clique. However this isn't true for everyone. One of my friends has other friends from all differnt sorts of "groups" and gets along well with all of them as equally as the other.

[ShySoul]

Then be a part of this sub-group, "Loners." Be one who doesn't need to associate with any clique, but just is.

 

Or be a sub group of one, ala the army slogan an army of one. Be you. What better means of expressing yourself then to not join another clique, but to form your own? A clique that doesn't focus on a specific interest, but brings together various "types" and interests and melds them all together into something that is truly different and special.

[SkyFire]

Then be a part of this sub-group, "Loners." Be one who doesn't need to associate with any clique, but just is.

 

Or be a sub group of one, ala the army slogan an army of one. Be you. What better means of expressing yourself then to not join another clique, but to form your own? A clique that doesn't focus on a specific interest, but brings together various "types" and interests and melds them all together into something that is truly different and special.

 

I disagree. You do not have to be a loner in order to be your own person. Nor do you have to belong to a clique in order to have friends. Plus, not having any friends is not healthy, because humans are social creatures by nature.

[ShySoul]

I disagree. You do not have to be a loner in order to be your own person. Nor do you have to belong to a clique in order to have friends. Plus, not having any friends is not healthy, because humans are social creatures by nature.

 

My original point was to not even think about cliques, to throw out the whole notion as its just as likely to separate us or stifle us as it is to help us fit in or express ourselves. But I was told that that's not how things work, so I was trying to express the same notion using what some would call a "clique." Loners are another sub-group, and they are the closest I could think of to my first point, not caring what others think or what group there in, just being them and doing what they do.

[MetallicAguy]

Dude Dead Eyes, you should know that if your a normal guy that happens to listen to much better bands than the girl you like does (Crappy bands like Simple Plan and GC, Less Than Jake).

 

Look man, with the right knowledge, right tactics (skills, i.e. Napoleon Dynamite jk), if you have a sense of humor that's not disgusting or stupid *** "your mom" jokes(but you know when to be serious), and have some good personal hygiene then yeah..you really can get like any girl. They base what they look for mostly in personality, but they also want a guy that looks good too. I mean you don't have to be some guy that girls lust over (Jesse McCarteney, Tom Wellings), I think they can put up with you being average, just as long as your not a slob. If your overweight, start working out, losing that fat gaining it into muscle. Don't be discouraged because your overweight. Personally I think it's easier to start a bit overweight and having that body structure. I'm thin, Let's see right now I'm 5'8 - 5'9 and I weigh 115lbs. I'm really thin. I need to gain weight. I can't really gain weight being that my metabolism is SO high. My shoulders are slumped, kind of broad yet not and it sucks I can't do anything about it. My friends have said I'm anorexic yet their wrong because I eat like a 5 foot 1 180lb fat kid .

 

I think what most girls look for is a guy that isn't a rod (myself lol) and a guy that doesn't look like a blowfish. Dude, just don't worry about it, try to work out, start out with low weights to tone yourself out. If you can't lift a 50lb freeweight, don't do it. Start with a 15. Sit-ups can help (not really sit ups more like crunches, there better and you burn more, and their faster to get done!) if you do like 200 a night. If done correctly, you can probably see results in a month - 5 months.

 

Anyhow, don't know what else to say other than you can be some random guy and get a girl. As long as your aren't ugly in the face, or have weird hobbies (Yu-Gi-Oh, weird anime crap, likes techno). Well actually techno isn't all that bad, one of my favorite bands has some techno/keyboard thing in some of the song, with a lot of distortion coming from the guitars, it's alright I guess, point is, just don't be a nerd, don't be TOO intelligent.

 

One more thing, be confident, be relaxed, be your own person, don't copy someone else, God made everyone different for a reason (goddamn, that just sounded cheesy as **** )

[Stinkweed]

Sorry I didn't get to reply sooner (my pc seems to have cancer...). But ok, there were a couple of misunderstandings...

 

A man should be judged based upon the content of his character and who he is, not by the clothes he wears, his hair style, his "clique."

 

ShySoul, I never said I wanted to join any cliques... I said I wanted to change my look. And in my last post before this one I said that I wanted something that reflected MY personality and something original that I haven't seen around (and I already know what I want it to be...). So, chill man. Don't worry about me just being unoriginal. I think I got that under control. But one thing I kinda didn't agree with was the loner part. I used to be the loneliest loner... And I was that way for 2 entire years, and believe me, it was no fun... I still can't say I'm the most popular guy (not that I want to be either... It's far from being a priority or a goal for that matter...), but at least I've got some friends and they happen to be from different "cliques". So, it's not like I'm gonna join a clique and socialize exclusively with that group. In fact, like you said, bringing together interest and melding them together into something different and unique is what I have in mind. I just wanna change my look to something I've always wanted... And I know my parent's probably won't like it, but then again, it's my decision (just like my hair is my decision, etc, and I've had my share of complains coming from them, but I don't listen to them, cause I like the way it looks!).

 

I think skyteph's got the right idea with the example of her friend. That's what I have in mind. Associating with lots of "cliques" because of who they are, not which one they belong to. I wouldn't even be thinking about cliques and such if it wasn't for that simple question: Would girls from different cliques (they don't have to be goth, or metalhead, punk rocker... just anything, including "preppy") give a guy who looks like he's from a different "clique" the same chance they'd give a guy who's from their same "clique"? Or is it just that much harder for, say, a punk rocker to date a preppy girl?

 

Finally, referring to MetallicAguy's post: What's "good" looks then? What if I wanted to dress up like a goth guy? Would I look "bad" to a preppy girl? Or would it depend, like you said, on higiene and "neatness"? Also, I know I posted about my slight dilemma with weight (which I'm working on, btw, every morning except today... I even woke up early and put on my working out clothes, but it started raining...), so, I guess that too has some influence with my decision. I wanna lose weight (and I'm certain this time, this summer, it's gonna happen... At least 2/3 of what I wanna lose, I will lose, and that I promise myself...), and I will change my look too. Cause I think the clothes I wanna wear will finally look good on me if I lose some weight. It won't be nothing too fancy. For the rest, I see where you're going (about the hobbies, yugioh, and all that crap, lol. I guess you're right with that one, lol). And I don't like techno

 

Well, thanks everyone for your replies. Hope I see some more coming. If not, that's ok, I'll make a part 2 of this post. Best wishes.