ok.. what if it wasnt THAT BAD?

[itry]

ITS a gorgeous day and im home WATCHING t.v. I NEVER WATCH T.V.

 

if we were still together.. id be out at his place and we'd probably be getting ready to go out to eat or something like that... he'd be hugging on me or kissing on me.

 

FINE FINE FINE things have been nasty in our relationship. but havent some couples, in the long run, out there survived INFIDELITY??? i mean... he DOES want to change.

 

im doing NC but im about to freaking break it. I MISS HIM AND I AM ABOUT TO LOSE IT.

 

IM WATCHING A DAMN SHOW CALLED "THE PUPPETMASTERS" SITTING HOME IN LITERALLY MY UNDERWEAR CUZ ITS SO DAMN HOT. I WANT HIM BACKKKK BUT MY PRIDE IS STOPPING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

 

I FEEL SO PATHETIC!!!!

[itry]

ok now im re reading my own post and i feel like crying for the miilionth time.

[a beautiful disaster]

Okay I feel like I'm reading something that I've posted. I too am sitting around in my underwear (at least I finally put something on) and I was watching some dumb tv and thinking about my boyfriend, who I broke up with on Sunday. What was bad about your relationship? There were a million things wrong with mine (read my other posts). But I can't stop feeling like. . . hm. . . maybe I overreacted. I miss him like crazy. It's freaking killing me. I dream about him. I think about him all the time. Wow, this is crazy. EXACTLY how I feel is what you wrote in your post. Exactly. I know I am not being much help, but just know that you are not alone. Just know that somewhere in the world, a girl feeling the exact same way as you is sitting around in her underwear eating a bean burrito and wishing she could disappear. . .

[lifeiscash]

whoa hold on, you know there are steps to a breakup: Denial, Depression, Guilt (or thinking of second chances), Anger, and then Acceptance.

 

What do you truly want, be honest with yourself. Is it really HIM or you just missing that security you had with somebody. I'm sure things happened in your realtionship that made you be in the position you are now but would you be happier if you were with him now, or possibly having a BETTER relationship in the future with someone else that can give you your needs that you have.

 

I know your having a hard time but NEVER let yourself be a doormat for someone. If a person can not respect the things you do for them or how you treat them, then ultimatley they should not be respected. I know its hard to change a lifestyle suddenly not really wanting to or even expecting it. But you will get used to being independent just like you were getting used to being treated poorly. Which one would you rather feel?

[itry]

what do weee doooooo???????? ive been sitting here beginning to write an email.. then i delete it... im also TRYING to study for a class that im taking...but my head goes blank.

 

yes ur right!! my ex...its NOT fixable. I KNOW THAT ALREADY. but theres little tiny schizophreniac voice that keeps telling me "u overreacted, he will change. he wouldnt cheat on u again with his sons mother" THEN THE REALITY FAIRY UPPERCUTS ME ANS SCREAMS "what are u thinking???? do u want to risk ur feelings again???? do u want ur daughter to see his temper?????"

 

 

ironically the schizophrenia voice sounds LOUDER.

 

 

its to the point where i think im going to sleep with someone else who has a thing for me just to get my mind off of my ex.

 

 

oh.... i broke it off fri. night. and i havent put clothes on yet because im too depressed.

[itry]

But you will get used to being independent just like you were getting used to being treated poorly. Which one would you rather feel?

 

 

i want the firstttt.. im TRYING IM TRYING. thats why im on here whining!!! i feel like my friends are tired of hearing me. all i have is this website and whats left of my pride.

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

Keep on "whining" although I don't think that it's whining in my opinion. You're hurting, we understand that. Talk about it. That's what we're here for. If that schizophreniac voice pops in your head and tells you to write an e-mail to him or to call him. Come here and let it out. You're going through a rough time, we know and friends can only take so much (I know that for a fact. lol). This site can help you to vent. So vent. You'll feel better for it.

[RayKay]

Why settle for "not that bad" (especially a cheater!) when you can strive for "absolutely fantastic"

 

You are hurting, and yes those days when you are at home eating Ben & Jerry's while watching horrible re-runs all alone SUCK, but they become few and far in between.

 

I think right now you are just confronting the shock of being on your own again, and it will pass, and you WILL start healing, moving on....and one day instead of crying, you will even laugh at the week you did not even get dressed while sweltering in the heat..and it will take you a few minutes to realize that was also the time you broke it off with your ex, and then you will say "that was the best thing I ever could of done". Trust me

[lifeiscash]

Ahh, the old familiar schizo voice, I remember it all to well. Well tell that voice to **** off. Ha, no but seriously, I understand its a big "obsession like" paranoia that seems to control you. I would have that pop in my head over and over but you can change the way you think. Instead of OBSESSING over how it wasnt so bad, OBSESS over why you didn't leave him EARLIER! Each time you think about how it wasn't that bad, change your thought to why put up with that, I should have ditched him long ago. Make it an addiction... keep telling yourself that over and over and over. We realize you are having a real tough time, I love this site because I appreciate the advice everyone has given me in the past and that is why I continue to stay to help other people, to give back what was given to me.

 

You are NOT the only one going throught this. Just understand that you might be weak at the moment BUT if you didn't have your pride.... then what would you have?? Nothing! Keep that pride, and keep telling yoursel why you didn't leave sooner.

[itry]

*sigh*

 

if i ever win the lottery, ill have all u guys fwd me ur addresses and ill send a check.

 

im going to go and.. i dunno.. buy flowers and plant them or something. yeah... i think ill go plant flowers...

 

then im going to rearrange my furniture... then maybe bake a cake or two...

 

then at night.. ill dress in all black and wait at the corner of his house so i can obsess over him....

 

kidding. kidding. at night ill... i dunno.. rearrange my furniture again i guess..........

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

Yes, do anything to keep yourself busy. It helps! Me, I worked out... a lot. To the point that I would feel that I was going to throw up. It wasn't nessecarily the best way of dealing with it, honestly I way overdid it, but it did allow me to work off my frustrations and the need to want to be with my ex. Still, 6 months later, I seriously doubt my ex would recognize me. In the end I stuck with it because it betters myself.

 

In the meantime, vent here, let it out. Don't call or e-mail that cheater. He isn't worth your time or effort. Just keep telling that to yourself like a mantra, you'll come to believe it. It is the truth after all.

[itry]

...as im off to buy my flowers to plant... i grabbed my car keys...my purse and put on my sandals.. im about to walk out the door and realized i still had no clothes on................

 

...........

 

....

 

stress could be so comical if ur not the one going through it.

 

 

i am now covered... and off to buy plants.

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

I amend my previous post. Do anything to keep yourself busy, just make sure you're not naked/half naked when you go out to do them.

 

Yes, you're stressed right now, you're going to do some "boneheaded" things, but remember, this too shall pass. Right now you're hurting and it might seem that your whole life it crashing down around you. It won't always be like that. Things will get better. I promise. Have faith.

 

My thoughts are with you.

[socalguy123]

i'm sitting here on my sofa, watching De-Lovely, in my underwear too. i've finally gotten past the "missing her til I can't think" stage, and now I just think negative thoughts of her whenever my ex's face flashes before my eyes.

 

 

all i'm saying is--in time, your perception gets better, on life, love, feelings. you may still be sitting in front of your TV, watching some B-movie in your underwear. but! you'll feel fabulously indulgent, doing it! and that's the trick!

 

best of luck, hang in there!