Very concerned -- does this mean I'm bi?!

[Lily04]

I just received a junk porn e-mail disguised as an ad for something... but when I clicked it it led me to a porn site. Since I've never visited a porn site before, and my ex-bf always watched porn in the past, I thought I'd watch a video, just out of curiosity, to see what it was like... and I'm ashamed to say I actually became quite aroused! I've always been 'straight' -- i.e. attracted only to men before. I'm just confused now. I think I may have felt aroused because I imagined myself as the girl performing the act, and so I was putting myself in her shoes... and that was exciting. But I think I might have also been attracted to her!

 

So I just want to know how to tell if you're bi for sure... I've only been in one relationship in the past, and the sex life was crap. My boyfriend said I had a very low libido although I said the reason was because I wasn't very much attracted to him physically and emotionally, and ended the relationship soon after. So it's hard for me to tell now...

 

Any thoughts would be much appreciated. My father is very strict and would basically kick me out of the house if he suspected I were by any chance even 1% gay. I'm still attracted to men, but I think I may also be attracted to women...? I'm so confused. Does this mean anything, or should I be concerned?

[tsunami2005]

No. Most of the people enjoy porn in the way you do-imagining you are the actor or actress actually doing it. It would be very difficult for a straight person to fantasize as someone of the opposite sex.

[kaboom]

dude u say u're concerned as if being bi was a bad thing (some people do think so, which i find a perfectly respectable attitude though).

you are bisexual when you are attracted to people of both genders. That means u see a man and think "whoa he's cute, i wish i could get into his pants" and u see a woman and think "whoa she's cute, i wish i could get under her skirt".

Watching porn gets ANYBODY aroused, its just the way humans work. if you wanna find out, dont check out straight porn, just check out pictures of naked women, or just women. If u don't know where to find them, PM me and i'll give you a hand.

And about ur parents, relax, they neednt know... My father is a homophobic bastard and i've been out of the closet for about 4 years to the whole world except my family. They dont know, they dont need to know, and its all just smoother this way!

one thing is realizing you are Bi, and a completely different one is publicizing it to the whole world.

Cheers!

[RayKay]

There was a recent study that analyzed the brain waves of men and women watching porn. They were trying to monitor arousal. 100% of the men were aroused and admitted to it...and 100% of the women's brain patterns and body responses ALSO showed arousal, but they all denied it...

 

Women often view other women in porn and are aroused by it. From a very young age we are taught that the female body is sexuality personified, that certain features are attractive and sexually arousing. And the female body is often very sensual and pleasant to look at.

 

Can you picture being with a woman in a relationship, and sexually? If that idea pleases you beyond just curiosity then maybe yes you are bi, but not necessarily. Sometimes people are attracted to the same sex, because we are all sexual beings, but it does not mean you feel it goes beyond fantasy or imagination. For example many women may also fantasize about being with a woman, but not necessarily for the attraction level, but maybe they feel they can only get certain gentle attention from a woman. Are they bi? I don't know, I don't think so, I think its just a fantasy in their mind. Even if they were to have a sexual experience with a woman, it may be a man they truly want to be with in their life.

[Lily04]

Thanks for your comments, especially Raykay for your help! I think that rings true for me... I was attracted to the woman I was watching, but the idea of being with a woman doesn't quite register... I don't think I could ever be in a relationship with a woman. Well that is comforting. =) Kaboom, I have nothing against gay people myself, but being straight just makes my life a lot easier for a lot of reasons. I have a few gay friends though, and have nothing against their orientation.

 

OK thanks again for the help!

 

Sparrow