Need help I can't get my head together

[Barry.w]

I will try keep it sort as possible 

So basically caught the mother of my two kids texting her ex again a,different one this time I need to leave her for both my sanity and kids sake.. 

Things haven't been good well over a year I can't go out or be let do anything for myself had to cancel  work partys and wedding etc but Yet she's able to off out on hens party's  she blames her anxiety she has it but players it up so I started to lose myself nearly keeping it together for kids..

Anyway  yea I caught her texting her ex watching it go on for a few months until I confronted her she had everything deleted  she eventually admitted texting him and about the dirty messages 

She seems to think nothing of it hardly a sorry but for everyone sake we have to split I just can't get the go to do it on my kids. And we have been fighting in front of them also a good bit 

Just for anyone that has split how did the kids fair out thanks in advance 

 

[boltnrun]

The fighting in front of the kids has got to stop. Immeasurable damage is being done to them.

I can tell you as both a child of divorce and a divorced mother myself, it's much worse on the kids to be subjected to and live in a household where there's discord than in two separate but peaceful households. I was tremendously relieved when my parents finally got divorced because my home life had been so awful. 

My son did fine after the divorce. We made sure to reassure him he was loved and that he spent plenty of time with both parents. He is currently happily married and has a good career and is a law-abiding citizen. He's a good young man. 

Make sure your kids know they are loved. Do not trash talk their mother. Don't introduce them to anyone you're dating unless and until you're fairly certain it's going to be a long term relationship. I also recommend counseling for yourself and for the kids.

Good luck. 

[Barry.w]

2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

The fighting in front of the kids has got to stop. Immeasurable damage is being done to them.

I can tell you as both a child of divorce and a divorced mother myself, it's much worse on the kids to be subjected to and live in a household where there's discord than in two separate but peaceful households. I was tremendously relieved when my parents finally got divorced because my home life had been so awful. 

My son did fine after the divorce. We made sure to reassure him he was loved and that he spent plenty of time with both parents. He is currently happily married and has a good career and is a law-abiding citizen. He's a good young man. 

Make sure your kids know they are loved. Do not trash talk their mother. Don't introduce them to anyone you're dating unless and until you're fairly certain it's going to be a long term relationship. I also recommend counseling for yourself and for the kids.

Good luck. 

Thanks for the advice I keep saying not infront of the kids and try walk away but she will stay shouting and roaring regardless I'm a nice person I wouldn't downgrade her to the kids or be spiteful like that it's just so hard to stay here with her I'm just heart broke over everything 

[boltnrun]

Are you two legally married, or living together as a family but not married?

If you're not legally married I still highly recommend you see a family law attorney. You can find out what your rights as a father are, what you could expect regarding custody, child support and visitation and any other legal questions you might have. If money is tight you can get advice from a paralegal. I used a paralegal for my divorce and everything turned out fine. But getting legal advice is very important.

 

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this is happening. Please consult an attorney for information advice and support regarding your situation.

Please also see a therapist for ongoing support regarding your situation and especially what's best for your children and yourself.

You can be better armed to navigate the situation with professional advice and support. 

[Barry.w]

33 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Are you two legally married, or living together as a family but not married?

If you're not legally married I still highly recommend you see a family law attorney. You can find out what your rights as a father are, what you could expect regarding custody, child support and visitation and any other legal questions you might have. If money is tight you can get advice from a paralegal. I used a paralegal for my divorce and everything turned out fine. But getting legal advice is very important.

 

No we not married at all just to get the motivation to go yano

[boltnrun]

Imagine your kids continuing to witness the screaming fights and having them be emotionally damaged as a result. Have that be your motivation. You may not be starting the fights and you may be trying to avoid them but they're still happening. I can still remember my parents' fights and they happened over 45 years ago. 

Your kids are innocent. They don't deserve to live in a household where infidelity and screaming fights are happening. 

[Barry.w]

27 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Imagine your kids continuing to witness the screaming fights and having them be emotionally damaged as a result. Have that be your motivation. You may not be starting the fights and you may be trying to avoid them but they're still happening. I can still remember my parents' fights and they happened over 45 years ago. 

Your kids are innocent. They don't deserve to live in a household where infidelity and screaming fights are happening. 

Yup I completely agree and truth be told 

Think all of that and the infidelity be enough  

[smackie9]

Kids are happier in an environment of two happy separated parents rather than two miserable parents/partners that choose to stay together. You don't have to fight in front of them for them to know something is off. Kids are very perceptive to the negativity that is going on between you two. You are good to go.

[catfeeder]

My heart goes out to you and your children. Seeking legal advice is not the same thing as filing for divorce. It allows you to gather and operate on real information rather than on emotions alone. Have a consult, learn all of your options and the best steps to take for each option. Then you can decide your course from there, and you'll feel more confident in your path.