sooo lost

[lilshyguy]

ok, heres the thing, im 18 and im a guy, my best friend of almost year is a girl. I met her at the beginning of the year as she was new to the school. Im a very shy guy and she, along with a couple other girls i met really brought up my confidence and i spent a lot of time with them. Well anyways about 2-3 months in she went out with a close friend of mine. Meanwhile i became closer to her as a friend. When this friend ended up breaking up with her (still dont know why, neither does she) she came to me for support. When i heard some of the things he said to her after the break up, i stood up for her and had an argument with the friend, and after that, weve never said a word to each other. Since then me and her have been best friends, and she sees me like a brother. Many of our other friends seem to have distanced themselves from us but we've stuck together. We spent most of our time together, and people i know in my classes started to bug me that i liked her and wanted to go out with her, or how they thought we should go out, but i always said we're just friends. But now, the more time i spend with her, the more i think i'm falling in love. I find myself crying at night, because i dont know how she feels. Sometimes im sure that she just sees me as a friend, as she has told me many times when shes felt weird that some of our other friends have asked her out (including the only one left who still hangs out with us regularly) that she doesnt date friends since that break-up. but other times i feel like im sure that she does want more. And when i think about some of the things shes said to others about us just being friends, i think to myself that i have been saying the same things, so i dont know if she is feeling the same way and is just as confused as i am. It only bothers me because i dont know how she feels, i think id be ok with it if she only wants to be friends, but ive seen two other of her close guy friends ask her out and a distance grow between them. She has become the most important person in my life, and i dont want that to happen. I know that this is not lust, because i dont find the physical part that important, I like her for who she is, and i just dont want to lose her. She is the kind of person i want to spend the rest of my life with. Ive lost so much sleep over this, and once i even snuck out of my house and left in my car at 3 in the morning to try and get it out of my head and i ended up driving by her house which is almost 40 kms away. It's killing me inside wondering how she feels. And now i dont know if its just me but she seems different in a way that makes me think that if she did like me, shes given up and now is trying to move on. We just graduated and schools over now, so i wont see her as often, but we still talk almost every night online. I dont know what to do anymore plz help

[Jitrenda]

Awww your one sweet guy and lucky!

 

Why don't you ask her outright if she likes you? It will clear the air and give you peace of mind. I was wondering if my roommate liked me once...so i asked him and cleared the air and i could sleep at night and not worry about things.

 

I believe asking her might help you. And if she does like you, you guys can date and be happy together!

 

I wish you luck!

[rexet]

I would hate the idea of a friendship to a girl for such a long time...

I don't believe men and women weren't made to be just good friends.

There's always the sexual thing which disturbes such a relationship.

I once heard that when once you change from "good friend" to "partner" status you loose some of the privileges you had as a friend. She won't be that open to you anymore. She will avoid many topics which could damage the relationship.

What would be positive is that, since you know each other that good, you can avoid those many tiny mistakes a fresh couple does often...

As I can tell from my sister, she has some "friends", and she could never imagine that it would go any further with them. She likes to talk to them because they understand her that well.

Sometimes I think that girls, just don't want a guy as a partner who understands her well. Because it would be too smooth... No surprises, no big romantic evenings, no more embarrassing silence when you meet.

But that's only a theory

If I was you, I would tell her how you feel. At last you're close friends and to close friends you should be honest and open... there should be not exception of the rule!

[lilshyguy]

well, its been awhile now and i still havent done anything about my problem. The thing is, shes now going out with a guy she works with and i dunno if its because shes given up on me or what. When she told me about it it was on messenger and she was saying how she went to see fireworks with him for Canada Day and she said it like "Well... uhh... we're kinda seeing each other... and there were so many people we work with there lol" i cant read her very well and i dont know if she was hesitant to tell me or anything but i was just like "oh, cool lol" I still dont know if its just my imagination or what. and recently ive started to think that i have non hyperactive ADD and ive heard that thinking to much about stuff like this can be a symptom but i dunno.