They don't BELIEVE me.

[koremi]

I've had same sex crushes since I was 5 years old. I wasn't interested in guys until about age 8, and then got back onto girls at about 13. I go in cycles. Except now I'm almost all the way girls, I'm not going into what I fantasize about but I'll tell you that I do. I have NO outlets. I'm not talking to my mother, because she asks me stupid questions and DOESN'T BELIEVE ME. She thinks its a phase. She says she believes me but doesn't want me to go to a LGBT group(which I DESPERATELY want to go to) until I "know for sure" and is taking this recommendation from my shrink. I understand that, but I've been sure for years. She just thinks its another phase. She thinks it was caused by my father(whom she hates and is an a**hole to begin with) who imprinted on me that men were bad and made me think they were bad. I understand this too, but it's CRAP, and she won't listen to me. I have a gay friend and a gay teacher. That's it. I have nobody else to talk to who understands. I talk to my gay friend sometimes, but it doesn't work that well, and I'm not wasting time with my teacher, and maybe he would understand, but it would be awkward as hell. I'm desperate for someone or something to talk to that BELIEVES me and doesn't take this as a phase and could HELP me find someone somehow...help?

[Cadence308]

That's why we're here on the site. I joined this site Aug. 2004 because I was questioning my sexuality and had a romantic crush I had on a woman who is my parent's age. At first I thought that I was bi, I think because it was easier to accept like I was still sort of like all of my friends. But, after emailing with and posting on threads on this website I have realized that I am a lesbian. It is a long road and I'm still on it. I'm only out to 4 friends and they all told me that they suspected that I was into women. Even though all of these friends I've told consider themselves straight, 2 of them have made out with a girl at some time in their lives and I think the 3rd friend I told is a les in the closet and for many reasons I won't get into. The 4th person I let know of my sexuality was the woman that I had a crush on. I think that she's currently in a relationship since it wasn't reciprocated.

 

My parents have suspected I'm a les since I was 19 and some of my other friends have, too. I just haven't felt comfortable telling anyone else yet and it really hasn't been an issue since I don't have a girlfriend. I am not going to worry about who knows and who doesn't until I have a gf since it seems very trivial. I'm not sure that my parents would understand, plus I'm also a very private person.

 

I know you didn't post on here to hear me blab about myself, but I'm just letting you know that you are not alone and there are many people of all different ages who are in a similar situation. If you don't feel comfortable talking to your mom about your sexuality and she doesn't listen and take you seriously, then don't tell her. As we grow older we all realize (or should) that there are aspects of our lives that are more private and we don't have to indulge our parents in those aspects if we don't wish. I guess people start to realize that they are individuals and are not extensions of their parents.

 

Do you have friends who have gay or les friends? If you don't have gay friends, but have friends who do, that is a safe place to turn to to find an ally and maybe a friend. If you live in a small town then it may be hard to find lesbians. Is the lesbian group something that you can go to during lunch so that you can spare your mom the details? I think that I would go and keep that private. That is just my opinion.

 

Are you just looking for someone to talk to about your sexuality or are you looking for a girlfriend? I think that the best thing is just to become friends with as many people as you can and when you do, you will find out more about those people and their sexuality. I'm sure there are many girls your age who are still in the closet, even to themselves.

 

GL!

[kaboom]

Whoa dude, I remember when i was coming out of the closet (I'm bi) the thing that got me ENRAGED (and still does) was people telling me either of the follwing:

1: That I was confused

2: That it was a phase

3: That i was lying and that it was just to get attention.

Don't let ANYONE tell you whether u're confused or not, or tell you how things SHOULD be like.

If your mom don't like the fact that u like other women, well tough luck for her! Believe me she'll eventually have to accept it, possibly after u start taking girls home... hehe.

In any case, unless your mom isn't stopping you from being yourself or from doing stuff, ignore her. U've already told her, and she'll eventually come round. She has no choice anyway.

About the LGBT group, It doesnt need to be a highly-pubicized association of any sort, just create your own! Start meeting people and people will pop up, and u can relate to them. Dude we LGBT make up 10% of the population. out of ten people u cross on the street, one of them is gay, you're BOUND to find some.

Cheers!

[pizzachick13]

i felt the same way when i first came out. my parents hated it and my dad didn't talk to me for ages... now he thinks that possibly bribing me to go out with guys will turn me straight... i don't know what he's on but i prefer my girls thank you very much.

 

your mum will get over it and eventually just accept it as a part of who you are. and if she doesn't then she'll just ignore it... either way, she'll still love you no matter what.

 

was it hard telling your mum or was it ok? cos if it was hard then that might be why your mum thinks it's just a phase. the more you say you are the more it might sink in... who knows?

 

and don't worry about meeting people...

Dude we LGBT make up 10% of the population. out of ten people u cross on the street, one of them is gay, you're BOUND to find some.

 

this is so very right!! i have met so many gay and lesbian people it's a wonder i didn't realise them before!!

 

just have patience and you'll find frineds just like yourself...

 

ttfn

 

Sappho