My LD boyfriend's brother died

[forget_me_knot13]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. This past Friday, he found out that his little brother died of a fentanyl overdose. Because of my job and financial/family issues, I cannot physically be with him. How do I be there for him? What can I do? Any advice would be welcomed. 

[NighttimeNightmare]

Be there emotionally, ask him how you can be there for him.

 

since you can’t be there physically, it may be nice for him to receive a care package that you personally put together and shipped - something you touched and did with care, as opposed to shipping it through a company which can be impersonal 

[Cherylyn]

I like @NighttimeNightmare's idea about sending a care package.  Ship everything you know he likes such as various miscellaneous items,  perhaps his favorite snacks and the like.  Enclose a note and let him know he can call you anytime and that you will lend an ear.  Or, perhaps kind and compassionate email exchanges.  Be careful though.  Don't over do it with electronic correspondence.  Give him a lot of time and space. 

He suffered a tremendous loss.  Not everyone wants constant attention.  The bereft needs to process their mourning and void.  Back off by using common sense and wait for him to come around.  There's only so much you can do and after that,  you need to leave him alone until he's ready to share more of himself with you. 

[ilovecats666]

My little sister died of a fentanyl overdose 2 years ago. It's so devastating. I'm sure your boyfriend is going through it. But also I'm sure he understands why you can't physically be there. 

I agree with some other posts here that a care package is a great idea. A nice letter, and being available to talk when he needs to. 

Grief is weird. Losing a sibling is extra weird. And it never stops being weird. 

Also I'd suggest just being normal with him. Atleast once it's past the funeral. Dont brush off that he's grieving, but don't fixate on it. 

Atleast personally, I preferred when people treated me normal. It gave my life a sense of normalcy again.