Should I just ask out my friend and see what happens or at least talk to her and see where we stand?

[reggierags]

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

Why would you think it was fun to get drunk or impaired with her one on one -how will that help you get to know each other? 

Ask her what she likes to do.  Some date ideas are: museum, picnic in a nice park, hiking, a swing dancing lesson, live theater or live music, a comedy club.

Well it was her idea, all three times. And it was fun, and I we did get to know each other. Of course, it's certainly not the best way to do so

I know she likes art classes and keeps talking about that. She knows I'm in one with my sister

[boltnrun]

How can you get to know someone when you're both plowed?

[reggierags]

3 hours ago, boltnrun said:

How can you get to know someone when you're both plowed?

Well we weren't hammered until the end (4 shots). Mostly couple of beers and a lot of food the first 5 hours or so. I think it's because we got to know each other that we bonded to the point of too much alcohol

[Batya33]

7 hours ago, reggierags said:

Well we weren't hammered until the end (4 shots). Mostly couple of beers and a lot of food the first 5 hours or so. I think it's because we got to know each other that we bonded to the point of too much alcohol

This sounds really unhealthy and inconsistent with getting to know someone especially for purposes of a serious relationship.  You didn't choose to get drunk because of getting to know each other -you chose to get drunk because each of you chooses to drink too much.  And each of you chose that over getting to know each other in a real way as opposed to masked by excess alcohol you chose to drink.

My ex boyfriend had a drinking issue for part of our relationship (and again much later in life) -we were in our 20s.  You know what it led to? A night where I ended up almost assaulted by a strange guy at a party because my boyfriend wouldn't stop drinking and I had to walk away to avoid getting even more upset.    Luckily the guy left or my drunk boyfriend might have confronted him. 

I've also been hit hard on the back by a guy who didn't know how drunk he was, sexually assaulted by another one and my friend was picked up bodily and thrown to the ground as a joke by a guy who was drunk - concussion resulted.

You are risking a potentially dangerous situation fooling around with a woman with mental health issues who self medicates with drugs and alcohol.  She could ruin your personal and professional reputation or worse.  So please stop the rationalization of abusing alcohol because you're bonding.  You're bonding with the alcohol.  So is she and guess who will win in a he said she said showdown?  

I'd get over your relationship with alcohol and drugs -and once you break up with them you might be ready to get involved in dating for a potentially serious relationship -your attitude about your self-medicating behaviors really raise alarm bells IMO