Help, I have a problem with drinking but not what you think.

[EOCTheWinnar]

I'm sitting up all night thinking about my girlfriend who is probably drinking.

 

She is not an alcoholic.

 

When we started going out we made a pact not to drink, and now she is anyway and has decided that it is fun. We used to smoke pot but then quit that also.

 

My problem is, I can't stand drinking and I don't know why. I have lots of friends and I would say all of them drink.

 

I was hoping someone could shine the light on what seems like a dumb question. Why must EVERYONE drink?

 

Everytime I've ever been around it or done it something stupid has happened. Girls acting like hookers (sorry this prevented me from saying what I meant to say), guys getting in fights, people acting stupid. I can't stand it.

 

Just tonight they said "Lets bring out the bong and and the booze." The pot didn't bother me, I've never seen anyone get in a fight over the pot. She likes pot much more. We tried to compromise, she can smoke as much as she wants but not drink.

 

I know a lot of it is pressure probably and hype but I just can't stand it.

 

I want to know why I have this problem and why I am afraid of it so much, I hate it when anyone I know does it and yet I've never had an alcoholic relative or anything I can think that would stem from any kind of alcoholic activity. Just the meer sight of it makes me sick.

 

I think it is going to bring our relationship to an end. Someone please help. I don't understand why I feel this way but right now I'm crying thinking of her having a single beer even.

 

By the way, even I know it sounds ridiculous. I just need help. If I cant fix this, I can't see myself being in any relationship ever because everyone is going to think im crazy.

 

Besides this everyone considers me one of the best people they know, I don't mean that in a pity kind of way, I love who I am and everyone else just teases me about this one thing. I'm one of the guys, but I feel like I'm really not.

[EOCTheWinnar]

I guess a lot of it stems from the idea of someone acting stupid when they are drinking. It just really annoys me. People say it brings out your true self but that makes me feel like the next time someone commits murder because they were on some drug that that must mean it brought out their true self also.

 

I've got drunk before and never liked it. The idea that I had fun is immediately turned into depression because if I was really having fun why did I need to put something like alcohol into my body in the first place.

 

Right now I imagen her stumbling around drunk or any of my friends and it makes me sick to my stomach.

[manr]

with drinking comes being able to make the right choices. u seem to have a sound head on ur shoulders. ppl do tihngs for many reasons.

i drink. i dont smoke. though use to do drugs.

not everyone drinks and gets completely retarded. drinking dosnt bring out ur reals self. brings out either a bad ugly or follish person unles ur carefull.

[EOCTheWinnar]

Well for some reason I have this idea that she will probably cheat on me if se is drunk, which she would never do if she wasn't.

 

I know how it is to be drunk and horny.

 

Also, she seems to have an addictive behavior, I know that if I tell her its ok to drink it will be an everyday thing until it is abused.

 

I just happen to not understand how people can live to be like 15 even lets say before they first get drunk, but all of a sudden its the greatest thing ever and they HAVE to do it.

 

It's like its the only way for anyone to have fun anymore.

It used ot be lets go out and do something (insert idea) now its "oh boy!!!11 I can't wait till friday so I can get so f'ed up!!! and then not remember anything and then ... ill do it again tomarrow and OMFG THAT WILL BE SO FUN OMFG!!!111 too bad I will do something stupid and not even remember it until someone tells me about it later and then gee I'm so cool because now I can act retarded like I could even if I wasn't drunk but now I have all these super cool friends who pose in pictures with me because we have a Jack in one hand and blunt in another"

 

I mean if that doesn't smell of cool I don't know what does.

[manr]

things like that will calm down i remember when i drank for the first time i was 16. i thought i was so great until i got sick. now i drink about 1 time a week if that. takes time.

 

Gf cheating thats a trust issue. if she loves u and wants to be with u then thats all u need.

[EOCTheWinnar]

Yeah but can't you find anything better to do than drink?

 

What do you think the best thing I can do is?

 

Just let her drink until she realizes it is stupid?

 

I think its a major maturity thing, shes always been kinda rebellious and held back by her parents from doing the things she wants to do.

 

I'm thinking maybe she is going through a stage where shes now 18 and "so cool"

 

I guess I was kinda like that when I was 18 too, sometimes I think either a) I'm insane or b) I happened to somehow bypass this stage of life.

 

I already had my share of drugs and alcohol and now I despise them.

 

I just can't see her stopping, ever. I mean the two years she quit we had the best relationship ever and now she is so damn cool again now that shes doing it, shes acting like a complete idiot and it really pisses me off.

 

In fact all of my friends who drink all act like idiots and I just leave right away as soon as I see the beer.

 

My question is, am I afraid of something here or what?

 

Why can't I just be a drunk crazy mofo like everyone else? Since they are all doing it they must be right huh?

[eddie500]

My thoughts on drinking.

 

I'm definitely not a drinker, and understand fully why you don't like it.

 

For me I personally hate the taste of alcohol, and I'm always someone to be skeptical about anyone that claims they like it. I do drink beer, but only rarely on social occasions when I let the peer pressure take over. And usually only to loosen up a bit to meet girls.

 

First, alcohol is a poison. When you drink alcohol in large quantities you get alcohol poisoning. People will argue "wine with alcohol is good" But its not the alcohol its the grapes in the wine.. high in antioxidants. I just loved it when recently the CDC put out that wine offered no health benefits like people thought. So alcohol in small quantities is also a poison, just mild enough to only kill you slowly.

 

OK, the big question why do all the people go crazy over alcohol, when we know that it is a poison and it just tastes bad. Reason is that most people naturally want to fit in and follow everyone else. This is a very powerful motivator in most people. Just think of the crazy cults out there and what people will do to be part of that cult. Really most of America popular culture is just one big cult. I was always an indepandent thinker with most things in life so I always will say what I think. LIke for me alcohol tastes like crap, so I'll tell other people that, but the other people will claim it tastes good becuase thats the socially acceptable comment to say. But in reality alcohol tastes like crap becuase its your bodies natural defense to reject the poison.

 

So can you really do much about your girlfriend and the drinking? Not so much becuase the social pressure to be cool and fit in means that she must drink alcohol. Social pressure is one of the most strongest motivators in life. SO just understand that, and know what she is doing is completely normal. As you can see you tried to stop her from drinking and what happened? She only started to drink again. I think it would be best to let her do as she pleases and not try to control this aspect because it will only cause problems between you two.

 

And a question for you, do you consider yourself more of an independent thinker than most other people? Be honest, becuase most people will say they are but in reality they are not. IT seems that you think rationally, so I'm wondering if there are other examples of you going aginst what everyone else thinks becuase you see the truth differently.

[asdf]

i enjoy drinking, and i'm a bit more mature now than i was at 15 (i had pretty self destructive behaviour back then). but now i just do it as a social activity, and it helps me unwind, and is quite nice on a friday or saturday night after a hard week's work. i usually just have about 4 or 5 drinks at most these nights. before when i was 15 i used to go for at least a dozen in a night, just compulsively doing it, and to be honest, i still don't know why i did it. there was an element of a self destructive high. it definitely wasn't peer pressure cause most of my friends didn't even like drinking. actually, i guess it was kind of a means of escape for me back then.

 

now it's not like i'm escaping from anything, just more unwinding.

 

yes alcohol is a poison if you define poison as any substance which can kill you, but with that definition, a lot of things are poisonous, like fried chicken, coca cola, etc. it's up to a person to decided whether or not they think the enjoyment is worth it, and i think everybody should respect another person's way of living, so long as it doesn't harm others.

[Santa]

I feel much the same as asdf about the subject.

Peer pressure? I don't think I have ever had peer pressure to drink. I do it because it makes me more relaxed. Everyone is always so serious and streesed and stuff, but then on a friday or saterday at the end of the week, you can just have a drink and unwind. A lot of people find the expeirence fun, as they don't have to worry so much about things, and people generally find things funnier etc.

 

I think perhaps you don't like drinking because you might be a control freak? The thought that maybe you arn't in control, and you just let things happens scares you. Yes bad stuff happens when people drink, but from my expeirence, that is VERY rare... I can't even name one case over the last few years.

[EOCTheWinnar]

Haha definatly not a control freak. I've never had a problem with anything else she does really. Why should I? This is just one situation I've always had.

 

I don't tell people to quit, just like I haven't told her.

 

I just am trying to understand why it bothers me.