how do i break up with my girlfriend?

[the seed]

my girlfriend and i have been together now for a little over a year, we're both 19 and just finished up our first year of college... we started dating at the very end of our senior year in High School and thought it was great because we're heading off to the same school.. anyway, we spent pretty much all day every day together for the past year.. i didnt make any new friends at college and neither did she.. i love her to death and i've grown very attached to her family.. but i think it's time that i give other parts of my life the attention they've been lacking. i know that i need to see other people and expand my horizons, have more of a social life, etc.. but i'm so in love with this girl. and the fact that i'm very co-dependant doesn't help. i'm just having a tough time coming to the reality that i need to do it. i love her so much, and i'm scared that she's going to be really upset and i dont want her to be sad, so i keep delaying the inevitable. i care so much about her, and the thought of her hating me, or being mad at me kills me. i just need some reassurance.. thanks

[pi_anochik]

Just tell her the truth. Tell her you want some space. You want to have new experiences, but think that being in a serious relationship is keeping you from doing things you want to. Tell her you would like to keep in contact and you still really care about her, but that you just need some space. Hope everything goes well for you!

[the seed]

it's easier said than done.. also.. how do i approach her? cuz we're not gonna end up breaking up over a fight.. so i'm gonna feel awful telling her that i'm coming over.. she'll be excited to see me, hug and kiss me.. then i'll break her heart. =( we're each others first loves.. we went to prom together, lost our virginity to each, went off to college together.. we find security in each other.. so now what? =(

[kdreger]

Basically, you have very few choices.

 

You can be honest and it might drag out for awhile *but* in time she'll get over it and you'll remain close.

 

You can be a jerk and make her hate you *but* it'll be over quick though you'll look like a jerk and you'll lose her friendship.

 

You can wimp out and live in a world of "could of"/"would of"/"should of" where eventually you'll resent her and become a jerk leading back to the 2nd choice above.

 

In summary, honesty is the only way. You have to be strong. It is not the wimps way out. It's going to be difficult but in time she will respect and love you for being honest. It'll just be hell on earth for awhile - get ready for the crying and the begging. Sorry, there's no avoiding it unless you plan on faking your death.

[the seed]

"In summary, honesty is the only way. You have to be strong. It is not the wimps way out. It's going to be difficult but in time she will respect and love you for being honest. It'll just be hell on earth for awhile - get ready for the crying and the begging. Sorry, there's no avoiding it unless you plan on faking your death."

 

I know.. but how do I go over there.. how do I break the news.. how do I fight the temptation of going back with her just to stop her tears and pain? Do I just drive over, say what I have to say and leave? Not answer her calls, reply to her email or anything else? It's gonna suck so much. =( =(