I was the Gf, now the "lover"

[Nicki19]

Hey Guys

 

Im in the same situation I got cheated on with my partner of 2 years in January who I found out through visiting him at his home and finding his ex fiance there helping him move in. It was a gut retching time for me afterwards and I felt so much hatered for him, all the time secretly hoping that he would ring and want to get back. She has since moved back in with him. In march this year he contacted me and wanted to meet up I was like "Yes, definatly" we also started having sex together and now we are really starting to get serious again but one problem hes still with his ex and see me behind her back. He says he wants to break up with her but just doesnt know how to tell her I am not that sure he does and I dnt want to be strung along again. He says hes not attracted to her and they are always fighting. Im just not sure what to do please help me as I still love him and want himback.

 

Nicki, NZ

[italianstalian]

So let me get this straight..........he cheated on u with her........then cheated on her with you...........he sounds dreamy

[lifeiscash]

Hey, it sounds like you are in a tough situation. But honestly answer this question to yourself... "Why are you letting him do this to you"? Think about it, he CHEATED on you and then he CHEATS on his ex-girlfriend. What type of example of a great boyfriend is that? I mean seriously, how can you accept someone that cheats on you and in which you have no trust.

Okay so you say "Because im in looooove". Yea I'm sure your infatuated with him and REALLY jealous because he cheated on you with his ex girlfriend. Think about it, if he really loved you.. he wouldn't cheat, if he really love you, she would be out of the picture. He says he's not attracted to her and they are always fighting? Then why is he seeing her?

Don't be blind, look at what your letting yourself get into.

And great, your having sex with him again and your getting "more" serious but yet he's STILL seeing the other girl. I don't mean to be rude but your letting yourself get walked all over, you make your own choices in life and your the one that will have to live with them.

Be brave and drop him. Okay now you say "I just can't do that, he means so much to me"! Yea, well you mean alot to him, let me tell ya. He's dying to just only be with you... no really, ditch him and stop being weak... stand up for yourself.

[socalguy123]

from the flip side--this guy must have an amazing jedi mind-trick... (this isn't the relationship you're looking for...)

[goddess23]

lol o wow italian stailian that was funny styll. anyways, seriously as the other posters said this is just a dead end. if you want a real relationshiop this is simply not the guy. i mean are you okay with just being a sex toy for him? i mean maybe this is what you want right now and if thats the case and you're having fun fineee...but honestly this just doesnt seem right whatsoever. get out hunn.

[Falucchi]

He says he wants to break up with her but just doesnt know how to tell her.

 

Okay, pardon me while I LMAO with that old line.

I'd say you're wasting your time my dear.

 

Does he also say...

You're the only one who really understands him

he wants to leave, but he doesn't want to hurt her

He's unhappy

She's mean to him

He never should have left you

 

Uh huh. I wouldn't even let this dude in my house to clean my toilets (liars and cheaters aren't welcome)-- and you're letting him in where?

Time to tell him buh-bye.

[sweetrain22]

wow... i was in your shoes a while ago. i thoguht i had met the perfect man for me. then we started having problems and i found him cheating on me with some other woman. he denied it so i wouldn't break up with him. that was until the day he dumped me. i sat home and i cried wondering what's so good about her andnot about me.

 

and you know wat, nothing! he and i had problems because ididn't see marriage in my soon future. he started seeing her to test the waters and since she was a good possibility, he left me. that helped me realize that i should thank her for taking him off of my hands as he might do more damage later on as i fall harder for him.

 

after him, i moved on to meet others. he kept in contact me with me and after a while started asking me to hook u with him. i had to hold by so hard from forwarding his emails to her. i didn't though, i wanted her to find out herself, the way i had to. i hated her for knowing that he's taken, having met me, and having lied to my face about him just being a friend.

 

now they're breaking up and she's heart broken. and he wants me back. am i that stupid?

 

are you? your guy needs companionship. he doesn't care for either of u except for how you make him feel when he's around. he likes the fact that you yearn for him when he's with the other. ifyou both left him and met better men, then justice would be served.

[salmonhead_uk]

I'm with everyone else hun, sorry to say it, but this guy is HORRID!

Regardless of what you think of him right now, and the way he makes you feel when your with him...he isn't the kind of person you should be giving yourself to.

It's just as others have said...what an ego trip for him. Two girls, both want him and both he gets to have sex with. If you both left he'd be out there looking for a cheap woman to be with again! He's obviously way insecure, and needing that boost.

Don't you see - he lives with his ex...you think you are the only one he's sleeping with? No, her too. I don't think i could do that to myself, kissing his lips when you know that a few hours before he's been kissing hers...GRRRR makes me angry just imagining it.

You are not winning him back this way. THat's obviously what you seek to be going to these lengths hun, but he has no respect for you and no love. If you love someone you couldn't touch another, and wouldn't dream of it...but he's still with the both of you. That's sick. He's sick.

If he did dump the ex - or she figured it out and moved on - how silly would you feel? Lapping at his every word like a puppy, and playing games on his terms - life and love shouldn't be about games. And if she went and he 'chose' you--you don't think he'd find some other ladyfriend to cheat on you with...he's a serial attention seeker and babe no matter how it hurts I'd get in there and save your dignity before you feel doubly hurt and foolish.

Sorry if harsh, but that behaviour is totally unacceptable.

xx

[Pixiemeat]

I was in this situation four years ago, although fortunately for me it only lasted a month. I can't say I ended it: he dumped me, for her. Again.

 

You most likely won't listen to any of this (I don't mean to be harsh here, but I know you won't), but I would advise you to get out now. Four years down the line and it still hurts me knowing that he played two girls off against each other for a year, and then went on to do this to two others. He's feeding on the thrill of it: don't mug yourself, he clearly can't be trusted, and both of you should just band together and get rid.

 

But I know you won't. Good luck anyway.

[newts]

Hi Nicki,

 

I agree with the other posters. Get out for your own sanity. He doesn't deserve either one of you. If he is serious about breaking up with this other girl, well put it to him this way. If you break up with her when can then form a intimate relationship, until he does that I would be his friend just no intimacy. Just remember, you know he cheated on you and you know he is cheating on his current girlfriend. Once a cheater, unfortunately always a cheater.

 

Good luck