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sweetrain22

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  1. sweetrain22
    Most likely it was because she had a guy who doesn't know about you and she would have been nuts to approach you in front of him. Just in case that hurts you, keep in mind that there's a possibility she'd rather that guy not have been there, so she could have been able to approach you.
  2. sweetrain22
    hmmm.. this would be where i might argue again. what my ex said validated what the posters has told me in the past. here's wat i want to say: - i don't agree with that "if it's meant to be, then it'll happen". if htat's the case, i would never go to school, i would never exercise. i have to work for what i want, otherwise i don't deserve it when i have it. i understand that i cannot control his feelings, icannot make him come back to me if he doesn't want to. - he told me what's keeping him from coming back to me. he even said.. i'll be looking out for that. when i feel that you do'nt need me in your life, that's when i feel comfortable enough to come back. if i took what he said and disregarded it as an opportunity, how could i justify my right even if he does come back? also, if i argue, please don't think that i'm trying to discredit your comments. i want something and i intend to do what i can to get it. i realize that he is right as well as you guys who said htat i need to become independent. i suppose i'm trying to do that right now. i'm trying to focus on work, our dog while i have him this weeknd, and my body.
  3. sweetrain22
    hmmm.. this would be where i might argue again. what my ex said validated what the posters has told me in the past. here's wat i want to say: - i don't agree with that "if it's meant to be, then it'll happen". if htat's the case, i would never go to school, i would never exercise. i have to work for what i want, otherwise i don't deserve it when i have it. i understand that i cannot control his feelings, icannot make him come back to me if he doesn't want to. - he told me what's keeping him from coming back to me. he even said.. i'll be looking out for that. when i feel that you do'nt need me in your life, that's when i feel comfortable enough to come back. if i took what he said and disregarded it as an opportunity, how could i justify my right even if he does come back? also, if i argue, please don't think that i'm trying to discredit your comments. i want something and i intend to do what i can to get it. i realize that he is right as well as you guys who said htat i need to become independent. i suppose i'm trying to do that right now. i'm trying to focus on work, our dog while i have him this weeknd, and my body.
  4. sweetrain22
    wow... i was in your shoes a while ago. i thoguht i had met the perfect man for me. then we started having problems and i found him cheating on me with some other woman. he denied it so i wouldn't break up with him. that was until the day he dumped me. i sat home and i cried wondering what's so good about her andnot about me. and you know wat, nothing! he and i had problems because ididn't see marriage in my soon future. he started seeing her to test the waters and since she was a good possibility, he left me. that helped me realize that i should thank her for taking him off of my hands as he might do more damage later on as i fall harder for him. after him, i moved on to meet others. he kept in contact me with me and after a while started asking me to hook u with him. i had to hold by so hard from forwarding his emails to her. i didn't though, i wanted her to find out herself, the way i had to. i hated her for knowing that he's taken, having met me, and having lied to my face about him just being a friend. now they're breaking up and she's heart broken. and he wants me back. am i that stupid? are you? your guy needs companionship. he doesn't care for either of u except for how you make him feel when he's around. he likes the fact that you yearn for him when he's with the other. ifyou both left him and met better men, then justice would be served.
  5. sweetrain22
    When I first posted and asked for help on getting him back, I got a lot of good advice tellign me that I need to move on. Of course I was not going to listen to that, I argued, but I did read your responses over and over to try to let it isnk in. Since then, I've been in contact with my ex crying and begging and you were right, i pushed him farther away. He told me that all this does is frustrates him and makes him less inclined to come back to me. Thankfully he told me what you've been tellikng me. I didn't want to believe it till he's said it. Since then, I wrote him an emial to aplogize for my behavior. I told him that I won't be cotacting him for a while because I need to heal, and that I want my last contact for him to remember is this email saying that I love him. He responded to say, be strong babe, and know that i love you too. He also told me to go forth and find happiness, even if it was to bring back to him. first i thought he meant he wanted me to go out and be with other people, when later he explained that he just wants me to be happy again. we broke up because of the fights we were always having and the stress. Last night I went to pick up our dog so he could spend the weekend with me. My ex and I got a lil carried away and we ended up in bed and I spent the night in his arms. Here's how it ended: he explained to me why he couldn't get back with me yet. He said it's because he feels that I need him and that makes him not want to be with me. He wants me to be emotionally independent and find happiness first. He was also worried that by sleeping together, i mgiht think of us being back together. I took it calmly and didn't get lovey dubby on him. this morning he told me that he's always worried about how i'm doign, because he's hurt me and it stresses him out a lot. i am sad thinking about how everything about me brings negativity to him. i want him back, so i want to move on and be independent. what do you guys think of my situation? any advice?
  6. sweetrain22
    i know i shouldn't but this is killing me. he's not home at it's almost midnight. i don't know where he could be. i did a silly thing where my roommate called him with an excuse that they were looking for me and wanted to know if i was with him. he's not at home and he's not picking up his cell. so i'm thinking.. what if he's out with a girl? aside from being very very hurt, which isn't hard to imagine, i don't know how i should think of him. i mean technically i did take back my request of him to not see other people. so technically being single he's not cheating on me but oh my god this hurts!
  7. sweetrain22
    here is where i don't understand. this section is mostly people getting support and help in working their way back to their ex. why is it that i keep getting feedbak on this being hopeless for me?
  8. sweetrain22
    i understand. I do understand the importance of independence. I have started to fill my time with exercising, meeting new friends and reading new novels. It doesn't take away the void from losing my bf. I know that your advice is needed, I am not weak as to want to die if i never have him back. I simply want to know... or need to know... what can a girl do to get him back? i know NC is the policy but since i messed it up so early on, whether or not I"ve ruined all chances?
  9. sweetrain22
    thank you for your kind words. i wish i could take your well wishes and be content. but for now, all i need to reassurrance that what i did last night hasn't pushed him away completely. all i want is to know that there's still a chance for us to be together. i want to be a better person for him and he a better person fo rme, and then we could try to be happy together at that point. i don't mind waiting, i don't. i would rather wait then to know that the bus already left and i shouold just give up.
  10. sweetrain22
    i know you all have felt or feel the way that i do right now. yesterday i found myself top of our stats. i was charming clients left to right, i beat all my competitors by a long shot by the end of the day. then five o' clock came and my mood went straight from feeling like gold to feeling like the lonliest person in the world. i doubt i need him in my life to survive. but that's all i canmanage at this point, i'm not living my life because i'm not happy, i'm surviving. i told myself that there's never just one person out there for me, but that's my home, and he is my family. i go for what i want, and i'm easily motivated. be it a job, a personal goal, so why should i not go after him, if he's good for me and he's what i want?
  11. sweetrain22
    thank you for all yuor comments. i read what i wrote and i hate how weak i've become. but i truly truly am in pain when i think about him and how he's so far away from me. i don't een know wat i need. i need him back and id on't know how to do it and i do't know how to just join a class and take a new activity and live a richer life because it's os hard!
  12. sweetrain22
    but i need him back. knowing that i need to improve so i could have him back, that motivates me to work harder, try harder and smile harder. i know i was fine before i met him. i was ignorant to what's it's like being with someone that i truly love. ignorance allowed me to not be in pain as i am today.
  13. sweetrain22
    i so wish i could be strong as some of the posters. every advice i've heard is to just go out and live my own life. meet new people, engage in new things. i am not a shy person. i am one of the top sales reps in my exmpany and i do know a lot people. my ex is the only person i took in as my familly. I thought nothing could go wrong with us. i know it's whining but it's like, i put up a tough front around others, because i moved to LA by myself. then i met my bf and i let my guards down, and he's the only one who's seen me weak and seen me cry, and he's the only one who made me stop the crying and fall asleep in his arms. last night he did hte same, except he wasn't my bf and he was the reason why i coudlnt' stop crying. i need to have some hope that we will be back together. i know that he still loves me, i know that im good to him and we're good for each other. thank you for all your response
  14. sweetrain22
    i know it's the only way. but i wish i knew it would be the way that would most likely work. i know he still loves me and when we initially broke up, he told me that he wants me in his life. it's not fair to have one person fall out of love while the other person is still in love. i'm worried about him seeing other girls. if he meets a girl, whether or not they work out, i know i won't be able to make it thruogh all the pain at that point. should i keep my blog updated truthfully? since he reads it, should i keep it light and force myself to be okay?
  15. sweetrain22
    i tried to do the NC thing with my bf that broke up over this past weekend. we had too many arguments and we were on and off for a copuole of weeks prior. since this breakup didn't seem like just another drama, i got really emotional and i couldn't compose myself. he told me he loves me but we need to break up and work on ourselves separately so that maybe we could have a chance of being together again. So instead of talking on thephone, which would lead me crying, he would make sure i'mokay because i have a blog that only he has access to. i would update it and he would check in tomake sure i'm okay. this was a good plan, then i read about NC here, so i decided to add little things on there as though he doesn't exist and it wasn't written for him. i went over last night to pick up the dog, iw anted to just shwo up and leave, i ended up spending the night with crying, self pitying begging, storming out and to be pulled back in and put to bed by him. he held me all night but he wouldn't take me back. i knew that it wouldn't happen but i could not stop myself. this morning i called him from work and i asked if he could wait for me. i told him that i need to love myself again and it's so much harder knowing that's he's already fallen out of love with me and he is open to date other people. i asked that he could wait for me to be the happy me that he first met and fell in love with. i asked that he gives us a try then, and meantime to just wait. he said he would. when i asked him to, he promised. do you think it's hopeless. he told me that now he's a lot less certain of us being togehter again than he was when we first broke up, because of how i acted last night. please help me. i live in this city alone, my only family is he and our dog. i don't want to sound cliche but i need them in my life.
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