I need help, please take 2 mins to reply!

[misery12]

This is my story, for 5 months i've been with my girlfriend, and in the past month or so.. she's been acting differently, and some nights make me feel really badly about myself. I feel like she just stopped caring, and that there is no way to get back what we had. I have talked to her about my feelings a few times.. every second week or something for the past month, and yesterday when I said, "do you have something to say to me? you're acting different" she replied "oh my god, didn't we have this conversation last week". HEr friends also have told me that she admitted she was using me, and was planning on breaking up with me before the summer, and that the only reason she stayed with be 2 weeks ago, was because I have a nice house, and she knows she's allowed to invite her friends over when she's here. I haven't confronted her about this, because I promised her friends that I wouldn't tell her I know. Today my girlfriend called me, and we talked for like an hour, and we hung out at our friends house all night, from 6-11. While we were there, she didn't act like a girlfriend, no hugging, no touching.. nothing. Sometimes I feel like she's talking about me behind my back, because I asked her what time she was going home.. and she looked at her friend, and gave a hidden smile.. and said "in a few minutes". She acts totally different, no matter how well I treat her. What do you think I should do.. I don't want to break up with her, because I dont want to be the one to do it. If she's planning on dumping me, why hasn't she...... yesterday I told her to, if she was going to.. and she didn't. Do you think I should just back off... and not be available for a while, and let her come to me.. or should I tell her how I feel, and how's she's changed lately.. but im scared this will be the final blow and she'll be like "you're such a baby.. I can't take it anymore" or something. I don't know what to do, sometimes I still feel badly, but im not taking it as hard anymore, because im getting used to it. Please help!

[temperamental_taurus]

Hi Misery, I'm sorry she's treating you this way... relationships sure are tough, huh??? Part of growing up and becoming an adult is obtaining a higher degree of SELF-respect for yourself... bottom line... you know she isn't treating you right, she's making you feel badly about yourself... so, my question to you is... why are YOU with HER? If she liked you, she'd show you... break up with her, which will produce 2 effects... Number 1) you'll feel better that you stood up for yourself and would not allow someone to treat you this way and Number 2) it'll show her that she can't treat other people like this - and have them stay with her. And once you do leave her, if she comes back to you, make sure that things have and will REMAIN different between the two of you... that you are getting what you deserve out of the relationship too... if you're not, then move on... you sound like a caring, loving guy - and trust me - there are many caring loving girls out there that will treat you right...

[sidehop]

Misery,

 

I understand you care about this girl but it's pretty obvious the way she's acting and what her friend says pretty much fit the situation. You can ask her but it'll upset her more...IF she's in fact using you, you deserve much better & shouldn't be treated that way. No person should be using you to gain anything. The more you let her, the deeper she will make you feel miserable.

 

Don't let her stomp all over you. You have to be the one that needs to step up & control the situation Good luck man!

[MetallicAguy]

Just talk to her about this crap, basically just confront her on this. If you wanted to call her a *****, I think it'd be justified in this situation. She gives you just the same respect. What good friends she has to not tell her she's a ***** because she's using you. But then again I guess their good friends because they told you about it. I don't know, just break up with her man, it's just going to piss you off/hurt you more letting her do this to you.

[Day_Walker]

All you can ever do is trust your feelings. You seem to have these negative feelings about how she is treating you and what her intentions are with you. One of these is enough to break up. If she is in fact using you then it isnt in her best interest to cut you loose so soon. It sounds like you have some insecurities that you need to work out before you get into another relationship, you cannot let people treat you the way your gf does. Learn from this situation and hopefully it will help you get over your insecurities so you will become a stronger person.

[misery12]

So.. Day_Walker

I understand what you're saying, it makes perfect sense.

but what do I do from here.. I want to tell her I am not going to put up with it, and if she's not changing and treating me better, im gone.

but how can I say it.. and where can we say it.. because the next time I see her is at school.

 

Do you think I should talk to her sister too.. I am close with her, and she's online now.