I was jealous,She was smiling at my man right in front of me

[stopallthispain]

Ladies I'm pretty mad about what happened on Saturday night. My b.friend and I have been together for almost 3yrs. We went with another couple after a bbq to a local bar for some dancing. This woman that knew the girl I was with, was standing with us and kept smiling over and over at my boyfriend...and he was standing right beside me with his arm on me. I was looking at her thinking to myself "are you seriously doing this right in front of my face" and she caught me looking, Like I cared, but she just smiled at me and then would look around for a bit and then go back to him and give him a big smile.

It made me so mad. I didn't know what to do with myself, I was insulted that she thought she had a chance over me to smile at him like she was letting him know she was interested. My b.friend was good about it he was giving me little kisses so I knew that he wasn't into her but I was still mad that she'd do that. Plus I heard that her husband just cheated on her and she's been seeing someone new...she's attractive.

I know we'll end up seeing her again in the future which makes me angry and worried that I'm going to feel like my hairs up the next time I see her. Am I going overboard? I mean I've seen girls do this before as my b.friend is very attractive but not to the extreme like this felt. What would you have done if this was happening to you? How can I just let it go?

[QTpie87]

I would just let it go, Your bf was obviously not interested so you have nothing to worry about. maybe she was nervous and just looking around for someone to talk to (I have a friend that starts acting goofy like that when she is uncomfortable) or maybe she's just rude and really does think she has a chance, but I would let it go, if she isn't coming up and flirting with him or touching him and he is paying attention to you then I'd say you are gonna be ok. If she does come up and isn't just being friendly to both of you (just flirting with him) then I would nicely tell her to please stop, and maybe have your bf tell her he isn't interested. that should take care of it.

good luck.

Qtpie87

[Luciana]

Stopal, I had once a female friend who liked to touch my BF way too much. She would flirt with him right in front of my eyes. What I did is that I started avoiding her (she wasn't a close friend) until time went by and we never saw her again. So, I took it about 3 times. I didn't overeact but deep inside I was boiling. She would get really close to him and touch his thigh. It felt like slapping her but pretended I was ok. Then I made sure she wasn't around anymore. If she pesisted, I would have told her privately how much it bothered me.

[DN]

Get your boyfriend to do this:

 

next time she is there and smiles at him - he should stare right back, without smiling, then, after a moment, slowly look her up and down, briefly look into her eyes and then deliberately turn and give you a kiss, a good long one, neither of you looking at her while you are kissing.

 

Then both of you turn and look at her together for a few seconds, still not smiling, and then move away from her, holding each other and laughing.

[stopallthispain]

Thanks you guys....I guess I just need to know that I'm not getting all crazy inside for nothing. It seems like my b.friend is way better at controlling himself than me. I hold it in but then later I might say something mean to him because I'm so mad that I felt dissed like that by her! ya know what I mean!?

 

So what did you do if you can't avoid it? Just stand there and look at the ground....it's like you can't really do anything but look back at the girl wondering what the hell she's doing. Where would you put your eyes? Would if make me look insecure if I turned to my b.friend right while she was doing it and got him to walk with me or got him talking to me? I don't want her to think she's a threat...any advise?

[stopallthispain]

Hey good one DN, I will run that by him. I never thought to come up with something next time a situation like this occurs but maybe we should.

[tabytha]

LOL DN thats plain vicious!!

 

And for some reason it's exactly what I'd do.

 

Stopal, it's take his advice.

[kskm]

Yes another supporter for DN. That is just what she needs to do to get the point accross. After that don't think about her again. It a waste of time to think of someone that is that low. Don't let her control your thoughts or emotions.

[someguy69]

So what she smiled at you guys... what's the big deal? This sounds like the female version of one of those guys who starts fights with guys he thinks is looking at his girlfriend.

 

Such unwarranted jealousy is very immature.

[DN]

Smiling at a couple is one thing. Deliberately smiling in a flirtatious way at someone with a partner right there is something else again.

 

What is indicative is that her boyfriend also seemed to pick up the same vibe.

 

Some people like to do that sort of thing - they like the challenge of taking someone away from a partner right in front of them, or they like to humiliate people out of some sort of sadism - or they just like stirring things up.

[Shidoshi]

Honestly though, couldn't he just "ignore" her? I understand how this could be very annoying, but if he starts playing this game with her, it could give her exactly the impression she wants. She's getting a "rise" out of this. Unless the girl is a psycho, ignoring her should do the job without satisfying her need for attention.

[DN]

I still think a strong message from both of them that they know what she is doing and that it won't work - but with no harsh words or fighting - is the best way. Then they can ignore her.

[Strandysmommy]

I think it's instinct. I was at a coffee shop with my boyfriend and this girl was staring right at him and giving him the eye. It ticked me off that someone would have the audacity to do that. I mean we walked in holding hands and looking at each other all googly eyed and such. It's a territorial thing, we're like animals. If another cat comes onto my porch, and my normally mellow cat sees it...WHOA. He's all hisses and puffed up fur. No, it's instinct totally.

 

I wonder though: I know girls who will shamelessly hit on a guy who has a girlfriend. They don't care, they've said they don't care...they want what they want and they're determined to get it no matter who it hurts. I wonder what would make a person do that? Why? I mean in your case and mine there was no question as to the status of the relationship. We're not a brother and sister who are creepily touchy feely. Gawl dang...back the heck off wouldja.