moving backwards

[lostlonely75]

I am newly divorced after 10 yrs of marriage (no kids thank god). I thought we had a happy marriage so it was a shock to me, but my husband left me to move in with one of my friends/co-worker in September. our divorce was final in December, and the two of them married in February.

 

Back to my story, he left in September, went out one night and never came home-- all i got was a phone call never any explanation on why he left. to keep my sanity i kept up with the things i liked to do, mainly music and concerts. at a concert at the end of october, i met a guy, got a phone number and we really hit it off. so well in fact that after the divorce was final and i realized that if i wanted to be able to afford the house i needed to get a roomate -- he (and his son) offered to move in. this was January-ish. Things have been going good. til lately -- i find myself getting upset over nothing, very emotional lately. and when i step back to try to figure out why im responding like i am i realize its because it is different than what im used to. I guess I want my boyfriend to be like my husband was, and he obvioulsy isn't. until recently he has made me very happy being who he is and i haven't had the comparisons like i am now.

 

I guess its cuz before things were real new and exciting for me, and now that things are getting more comfortable i miss the wonderful relationship i had.....

 

i know i probably moved too fast, but i really have feelings for this guy, and didn't want a timeframe to make me miss out on what might be....

 

just wondering if i am crazy for feeling like i do... if anyone else has ever started feeling like this so long after the divorce, and any ideas of how to deal with these feelings.....

 

thanx

[DragonGirl724]

well, dont compare people. we are all different so it is unfair to compare the 2. you probably are just not ready for a relationship like this. if you get all bent when you 2 have sweet private moments together than its pretty obvious you arent over your ex yet. have you talked to him about any of this? why are you with him? is it for out of sheer convenience?

 

and if you want your BF to be like your EX husband, then youre basically saying you want the relationship to fall apart. b/c thats how it went with you & the person your ex was. you 2 dont go together thats just how it is. and b/c you were together for so long it is what youre used to. and you have to learn to break out of the pattern & accept a new person & a new kind of relationship.....are you ready for all this just yet?

 

-DG724

[manu]

All human beings are different .Its a human nature to compare what we have and what we had.The best thing for you to do is to live in the present moment meaning live the moment to the max.We all need to be loved and to love.Remember change is the essense of life.