why is it so hard to carry a conversation with people at a

[sarsapolis6]

club? Another way to say my question is: WHAT DO PEOPLE USUALLY TALK ABOUT AT A DANCE CLUB?

 

On a positive note my conversational skills are improving..thanks to practice and everyone who's posted on Enotalone. But the club scene eludes me. I just can't seem to fit everyday regular indepth conversation at the club with anyone, but I'm amazed and (a little envious) that others can. My conversation amongst guys is usually limited to: "Hey check out that girl" or "I talked to the girl by the stairs.."

 

What usually works with you when you're conversating at a club or lounge? Do you tell stories about humorous or interesting events that happened to you? Do you talk about other things which are totally unrelated to the current club environment?

 

Just curious, and very interested in finding my voice soon..before next Saturday night

 

When I'm at work or in the classroom I can carry on or start up a conversation. In the club, I've already used very corny sayings like "this DJ is great!"

[badburnz]

I tend to just wind up drunk and cranky at clubs. I've yet to meet anyone who can have a real conversation at a club. I don't think thats what clubs are for. Everything is so geared towards total sensory overload, with the flashing lights and the blaring music. Most of the dance clubs I've been in have just been boring meat markets. I could well be wrong, but I just don't think that a dance club is a place you go for good conversation...

[fmfisdead]

I agree with badburnz, its not exactly the greatest place to have conversations with people. For one, its LOUD! Its probably hard to talk and hear each other over blaring music. But with that being said, if you do try to talk, talk about anything that you want. If I were you, I would ask them about their life, maybe if you see a tattoo on their arm ask what it means or why they got it (example). Usually no one at the club is interested in just talking about "club things" or the dj. Just seriously talk about whatever you want to talk about, and if they happen to be uninterested, then thats how it goes. You can't always find people with the same interests and you can't always know exactly what to say to everyone. Especially with strangers because different people click well with different people. Anyways, with that being said, I've never really been in a club to be honest, so I am probably way off base, I was just trying to give you my perspective, hope it helped.

[wlfpack81]

I'm not big onto clubs either. If you want a one night stand then that's the place. However, if you want maybe a good friend at the least or a g/f then club isn't the place for that.

[sfboi415]

I agree with all of you guys..

and you're absolutely right fmfisdead. (are you SURE you've never been to a club? )

 

However, at the clubs that I've been to, which are a combination of lounge areas, bars, and dance floors I see many people talking and the music is so LOUD that I don't even know what they're saying! I'm not a vocal voyeur, but I have to get some idea of what to say in a lively, party atmosphere. I could be at a house party instead of a dance club, and still have the same problem. When I was at a house party where the noise level was lower, one guy talked about the BS that goes on at his job, in a very humorous, drunken way. A girl went on and on about how always loved to be a singer when she was little. As for me, I couldn't really bring anything to the table except give them feedback and genuinely laugh at their jokes.

 

But conversations at some of these big dance halls does happen, and it's usually between people who I originally thought were strangers to each other. So, what do we guys talk about? Mention our plans to get with this girl and that, to our buddy? Talk about someone we know who just got drunk? Crack mature jokes? Share our observations about an attractive girl? (I did this before and got a lukewarm response from my associate) I'm making this stuff up because I'm literally fishing in the dark.

[Your_Own_Disaster]

ok, it seems to me that.......

 

the insanely freakin cute as hell girls in my coll... are virtually impossible to hold more than a 20 sec convo with,:S

 

the kinda fugly ones can ramble for hours

 

the inbetween ones can also usually ramble, and the cute not not insanely freakin cute girls can hold a convo yet not all of the time.

 

 

 

has anyone else noticed this or is it just me???

[sfboi415]

even if the conversation was very very limited, has anyone on this forum found a connection at the club?

I saw a friend of mine do this with his buddies.. (who split up in different areas of the club)

They all had cellphones, and they each saw a girl they liked. They would "dance" up to her, tap on the shoulder or some other light touch, and they would dance. Then my friend had a cellphone in his hand and while he was still with a girl, whisper in her ear (maybe to request her number, compliment her, or some BS) and he would punch in her number. And they would each do the same pattern throughout the club. I have no idea if this works..and club conversation takes a back seat because they communicate with their ACTIONS instead of words. Most of the other guys I saw were posting along the wall with their friends or at the bar observing (me, me, me!!) the dancefloor scene like a bunch of 4-stars at an Army review. LOL

What my friends did was risky, because a girl could give any guy a bogus number. But have you done something similar to this?

[ComputerGuy]

I dont go to clubs very often....almost never, but the 2 or 3 times I HAVE gone, I find you DONT talk cause the music is too loud, people are too drunk, and generally want one thing, which isnt what Im after

[sfboi415]

the times that I go to clubs are rare, too. But since i've been through patterns of long term relationships, and hanging out with friends doing other stuff, I've had an interest to explore more of my city's nightlife..which is incredibly vibrant. Some people are there for the music, the experience of being in a crowd of people, socializing with people of the opposite sex.

 

Yeah, it's called the meat market..rightly so. But while I'm in college I want to get the most out of it.

[sarsapolis6]

no one still hasn't answered my question..

Has anyone gone to a club on this forum at all?

[sfboi415]

any more suggestions?

[Antimyth]

I go clubbing every week in Australia and it might not be the same where your from but holding conversations at clubs is all about being in the know about other clubs in the area as a starter. Then branching out..

 

Eg. I was at a club a couple of weeks ago, was having a rest from dancing and a girl sa down next to me, asked her crap starter convo "Is this your first time at ?" Then you can say oh ok me too! Where else do you go etc etc. I usuallt talk about other clubs and what i like about them. In this instance though i noticed the girl had an ENglish accent so we talked about where she was from and waht she was doin in Australia and we talked about UK Hip Hop (Dizzie Rascal). Also I am a promoter for a club so that helps in conversations, ive got on multiple lists for different clubs just by chatting with ppl who know ppl.

 

Dont go in with a mindset I want to pick up this girl with a wicked conversation because clubs are based heavily on phsical apperance, instead go into a night saying i want to go out have a wicked time and meet some new people.

 

Pretty much other people are right, if you want stimulating conversation above a ceratin level dont go to a club, but u can still have awesome conversations at clubs and some hilarious ones.

 

Clubbing for me is about forgetting about all my worries and having a good time, so for me people i talk to see the most relaxed fun version of myself, irl im a bit more stressed but not too much. hopw this helps

[Your_Own_Disaster]

no one still hasn't answered my question..

Has anyone gone to a club on this forum at all?

 

what u on about man, ppl HAVE answered your question, just not directly. re-read the previous comments

[KillerCat]

I go to a local clup at least 2 times a month, usually conversation goes short and friendly, i was at this club last saturday and the conversation went up kinda like this

 

me: hi

her : hi

me: I am ( my name) , who are you?

her: clarissa

me : nice to meet you clarice ( nope , not a typo. music was so loud that is what I thought she said, lol)

her: it's clarissa

me: oh, do you dance clarissa?

her: nah, I just watch people dance and hang out with the girls

me: have you ever been to the movie theather and didn't watch the movie?

her: no, why?

me: well you are at the club and you are not dancin, your friends are dancing, why don't they teach you, or is it that you don't like it?

her: I never thought of that....( she said with a really cute smile), im sure you dance

me: I try, is all about having fun this is not soul train or something

her : laughing

me: tell you what, if you like, wait for a song that you like, and if there is lots of people on the dance floor we'll get in the middle and do the robot

her: still laughing... I don't think so...

me: come on...no one will noticed...

her : laughing,

me: how about we get a drink instead, we seem to be better at drinking..

her: ok...

 

so we got a drink, we talked about where we were both from and what do we do for a living....

I have had very different conversation than that, but one thing i noticed about club conversations is that they are VERY SIMILAR TO CHATROOM CONVERSATION, not really enlightening, just entertaining, you get to "know " people, and once in a while you meet nice people..you make friends with..

[ShySoul]

My first (and last) experience at a club left me with this impression.

 

1. Conversations, even with people you know frequently involve saying "What?" about a dozen times.

 

2. If you want a real conversation, forget it.

 

3. Drinks will loosen you up, maybe too much. But everthing will still be superficial.

 

4. Come on people, that's what you call dancing? For that matter, that's what you call music?

 

5. Half the girls needed to put some clothes on. They were inviting trouble.

 

So your better off just staying away. There are plenty of other ways to meet people, have fun, and have real conversations. If your having trouble adjusted to the scene, maybe it just isn't for you.