inexperieced guys do women like

[joe45]

do women out there like guys who are inexperienced in dating, kissing and inexperienced sexually. i am asking this b/c yes i am one. i hope when i do get a gf she won't see me as some weird or inferior for being such a late bloomer.some gals might find it weird. i really don;t even have a excuse for my lack of women other than shyness, quiteness, lack of socail skills and no that much money-i think dating requires money(go out to eat, movies, ........) i mean don;t women all love money so they can go shopping. its so depressing when i go out and see couples my age holding hands-since i am single for soo long and never had a gf or dated. as u or read some of my previous posts.

[Jetta]

I actually prefer guys with less experience personally. It's a safety thing for me. I'm really paranoid about STD's.

[QTpie87]

Hi. Um well first of all, no you don't need a lot of money to go out on dates or have a gf, not all girls are into all that, and if that is all they care about you shouldn't waste your time on them anyway. there are lots of free things you could do, like go swimming at a lake, go hiking, go have a picnick, um...go sk8 (if your into sk8boarding and that sort of thing) or just even stay home and watch a movie.

 

about the experiance thing....I don't like it when guys have had a lot of sex already and all cause that usually means they are going to want to have sex and I'm not into that until I've dated the guy for a while (like 8 months or more) about the kissing thing, im sure that it doesn't bother everyone, but I would prefer a guy who knew how to kiss. But as long as you don't tell them you don't know how and you just do what feels natural to you I'm sure they'll never know.

good luck.

Qtpie87

[kskm]

My girlfriend and I talk about this quite a bit. She loves it when he's "still fresh" because he hasn't learned bad habits, and she can teach him they way she likes to me kissed and such. I on the other hand like it when a guy knows exactly what to do and how to do it, not having to teach someone. But I wouldn't think it was bad to have to teach someone that I liked how to kiss and such, I would just rather have them already know. So I guess any girl doesn't mind it, some just prefer one or the other.

[DragonGirl724]

joe,

 

when i had my first intimate BF relationship we were both eachother's 'firsts' sexually & both were eachother's first LONGTERM relationship where we said 'love' & all that other jazz...so i enjoyed it then to have experienced all my firsts with someone else who was going through the same thing....but NOW, no i cant be anyone's "trial GF". i want a man who knows what he wants, has been through enough to know what to do & what not to do, & can please me in bed as well. i think its extremely important to be on the same brain waves as your partner. and having an inexperienced BF will do nothing for me but cause frustrations & make me feel like his mother who has to 'teach him things'. but this doesnt mean every girl thinks like this, but me, personally, a man with experience is what i would want & need to be in a successful & happy relationship.

 

and how much money the guy has means absolutly NOTHING to me.

 

im a girl that actually doesnt like to shop, nor do i like chocolate or an over abundance of expensive dinners & flowers. every now & again its nice to get treated. but its def not a factor as to who i do & dont date.

 

-DG724

[yahoo2]

Be careful who you listen to.

 

Women like men with experience at sex; the inexperienced guy thinks he needs to be gentle, affectionate, sensitive, etc.

 

BORING! You'll be lucky if she stays awake. Women want you to take them, and like it if you have the knowledge to do the same thing many different ways. The whole body is an erogenous zone; experienced guys know this. If you can't be experienced, at least be creative. How can you do it this time that wasn't exactly the same as last time? If women want you to do it in a particular "way" inexperienced guys take her at her word, get in a rut, and start to make her want to watch TV instead. So, be careful about reading some of their advice and taking it the wrong way. Repetitive sex is not as fun after awhile.

 

You know you are doing well when she comments, "How many different ways can you DO that?"

 

If you are inexperienced, don't make the mistake of being tentative.

 

Women love hard, sweaty, assertive, go for it sex. Lust needs to be out there in plain view. The most important thing, though, is enthusiasm. Let her know that you thoroughly enjoy what you are doing to her and with her.

[Kitz]

I'm not really sure how old you are, but for me, with my first boyfriend/kiss/sexual experiences I would rather being his first too.. there's less pressure, and you could experiment more without wondering "am I doing the right thing? How do I compare to all the other girls he's been with?" etc.. but just wondering, what do guys think about girls, would they rather someone experienced or not?

[ShySoul]

Some girls will like experience, others will like inexperience, most probably don't care as long as the have a connection to the person they are with. There are advantages and disadvantages to both sides. Being experienced they can let you take charge and don't have to think about any pressure that may come with being someone's first. But they also have to consider how many people you've been with, if they are just another number, how they compare to other people you've been with. Being inexperienced lets them experience all these things when they are still new to you, getting to see the enthusiam and joy you feel at each new experience. They know you will always remember them as the first. Different people will prefer different things, so don't worry about it. If the girl doesn't like you due to something like this, she doesn't like you for you and you are better off without her. You want someone who will accept every part of you, including your experience or lack thereof.

 

Just a thought: If girls didn't like inexperience, how would guys ever get any experience?

 

I don't think it matters. What matters is that the two people truly care about each other.

 

DragonGirl724, Just because someone is inexperienced doesn't mean you would be a "trail GF." Personally, I have no experience in that stuff, but I'm looking for the real deal. I know what I want, always have. You'd be surpise at how the inexperienced ones know what they are doing better then guys with much more experience. They just hold it all back for the right person.

 

yahoo, like you didn't know I would have to respond to this . You drastically underestimate inexperienced guys. Gentle, affectionate, sensitive are all great things and girls love that... both sexually and nonsexually. Women don't just want sex, they want to make love. Making love is much more romantic and gentler. Not to say they don't want sex either, and even inexperienced guy can see this. They can be as soft and passionate as you can imagine, and can be as wild as you can imagine. Hey, its the quite, innocent ones that you have to watch out for. They aren't wild normally so when they let it out it's more powerful then you would think. They have all the years of pent up frustration and passion then gets unleashed and can blow you away.

 

Up the whole body is an erogenous soon, I agree. And it all starts in the mind and the heart. Use your imagination to stimulate them and watch the body follow. And inexperience doesn't mean the person isn't creative. Romance is a lot about creativity, so then everything can work together.

 

As amazing as it may seem, not all girls like it rough and lustful. Some want the tenderness. No, I think all girls want that at least to some extent. Sex isn't about being an animal, its about love. Inexperienced guys can be tentative and girls will like it. Inexperienced guys can also be eager and "get to it" and girls will like it. It depends on the girl and the relationship you have. Just be you, the right girl will appreciate it.

 

Oh, and clearly you haven't heard the saying that what someone lacks in experience they make up for with enthusaism. And if that is, as you say, the most important thing then I don't think inexperienced guys have anything to worry about.

[wlfpack81]

I'm in the same boat as you Joe. 24 next Saturday and still nothing at all. Most girls DO NOT like guys in the situation we are both in regardless of what they say on this board. Remember most girls here will try to be nice and make us happy by not being mean. But I'm a realist and know that most girls don't want 20 something inexperienced guys. Hence why I'm pretty much abou to just give up on ever trying to get over my shyness and get a g/f. I'm so far behind in the game that 90-95% of the girls out there wouldn't want me anyways.

[ShySoul]

wlfpack81,

 

So what if 90-95% if girls don't want you? That leaves the smarter, better 5-10% who are going to be lucky enought to get you. I've said it before, the only thing holding you back is your attitude. The reason you aren't having any success is because you don't think you can. The only time we really fail is when we give up hope. Believe in yourself man. How can girls believe in you and like you if you don't believe in or like yourself?

 

And to quote when of the most honest and downright blunt girls I know: "innocence is attractive."

[wlfpack81]

wlfpack81,

 

So what if 90-95% of girls don't want you? That leaves the smarter, better 5-10% who are going to be lucky enought to get you. I've said it before, the only thing holding you back is your attitude. The reason you aren't having any success is because you don't think you can. The only time we really fail is when we give up hope. Believe in yourself man. How can girls believe in you and like you if you don't believe in or like yourself?

 

Haha man I knew I'd get a response out of ya w/my last post. Hmm 5-10% girls left!? Well IMO dating is a #'s game. The more choices to pick from the better chance of getting somewhere. So if I'm only playing with a 5-10% chance to begin with...well like I said no use in really even trying anymore.

 

Again I'm a realist. I don't theorize and see things for the way they should be or how I want them to be. I just see it for how it's been, how it is and how it'll probably continue to be based on trends etc. I don't just do this w/myself concerning love but with all issues of life such as the stupid hate people have towards others on this planet and will most likely always have for example (don't get me started on that topic though). You call me pessamistic I say I'm a realist b/c for many in the world life sucks and I just see it and call it like it is.

[ShySoul]

Hey,

 

Be like me, a realistic optomist. I know how things are and how they'll probably be. But that doesn't mean I have to accept it. That doesn't mean I can't hope for better. That's how things change, how we evolve. Sure, hate and evil will always exist, but it doesn't have to win. And the way to stop it from winning is to fight it and show that it doesn't control us. If you don't agree with something, are you just going to stand back and let it continue? Or are you at least going to raise your voice against it? It doesn't matter if no one hears you, the point is you tried and didn't give in.

 

Yeah the world sucks for most. But if we just accept it, it will keep sucking and nothing will ever get better. Thats giving up without a struggle.

 

You could look at it another way. Say you have a hundred numbers to choose from and only one will win. Your at an advantage because you already know that 90 of them won't work. That means that of the girls you do select, theres a 1 in 10 chance she is the one. Much better odds then 1 in 100. See, its all how you look at it.

[Shidoshi]

do women out there like guys who are inexperienced in dating, kissing and inexperienced sexually.

Depends on how old you are.

its so depressing when i go out and see couples my age holding hands-since i am single for soo long and never had a gf or dated.

It won't change unless you go out there and take the plunge. You may not be successful at first, but you have to start somewhere right?

I don't like it when guys have had a lot of sex already and all cause that usually means they are going to want to have sex and I'm not into that until I've dated the guy for a while (like 8 months or more)

Keep in mind this girl is only 17. If you're close to that age then you don't have a whole lot to worry about. Still get out there though.

I on the other hand like it when a guy knows exactly what to do and how to do it, not having to teach someone.

I understand to an extent, but not every female is the same, what works for you may not work for someone else. Communication is key, if you don't talk about it how is a guy going to know "exactly" what you like? Sure he can probably get it in the ballpark on his own.

i want a man who knows what he wants, has been through enough to know what to do & what not to do, & can please me in bed as well.

This is what they want man, again, it depends on you're age.

and having an inexperienced BF will do nothing for me but cause frustrations & make me feel like his mother who has to 'teach him things'.

My advice to you about this is to take "charge." You may not get it right at first, but be assertive and just go for it. You may not satisfy her but you will show her that you're confident that you WILL get it right without her having to be your "tutor."

Women love hard, sweaty, assertive, go for it sex. Lust needs to be out there in plain view. The most important thing, though, is enthusiasm. Let her know that you thoroughly enjoy what you are doing to her and with her.

Yes, just go for it man, lose yourself in the moment.

but just wondering, what do guys think about girls, would they rather someone experienced or not?

It really isn't as big a deal with guys. What guy wouldn't want an attractive "inexperienced" girl? I don't know any guys who would refuse that at all.

Some girls will like experience, others will like inexperience

Age is a large factor in this. 20+ years old and inexperienced is NOT something that appeals to women.

Being inexperienced lets them experience all these things when they are still new to you, getting to see the enthusiam and joy you feel at each new experience.

Sorry, but this just isn't going to happen in most cases. Women want you to "take" them, they don't get joy from watching you "learn" what to do.

Just a thought: If girls didn't like inexperience, how would guys ever get any experience?

Yes, when you are YOUNG. The older you are the more you are EXPECTED to know what you're doing.

You'd be surpise at how the inexperienced ones know what they are doing better then guys with much more experience.

I don't see any logic in this statement at all, it's a contradiction. It can't even happen that way.

Inexperienced guys can also be eager and "get to it" and girls will like it.

LOL! they aren't the only ones who are "eager."

Oh, and clearly you haven't heard the saying that what someone lacks in experience they make up for with enthusaism. And if that is, as you say, the most important thing then I don't think inexperienced guys have anything to worry about.

Enthusiasm will help, but there's no substitue for experience. That would be good advice to give though, like I said earlier, just go for it.

I'm in the same boat as you Joe. 24 next Saturday and still nothing at all. Most girls DO NOT like guys in the situation we are both in regardless of what they say on this board. Remember most girls here will try to be nice and make us happy by not being mean. But I'm a realist and know that most girls don't want 20 something inexperienced guys.

Your right, but....

Hence why I'm pretty much abou to just give up on ever trying to get over my shyness and get a g/f. I'm so far behind in the game that 90-95% of the girls out there wouldn't want me anyways.

Don't take this attitude man. You might be 24, but you're still considered to be "relatively" young. You have to be willing to go out there and get some experience and risk the rejection. Not taking action is going to make you feel many times worse than being rejected. We all experience it man, you can't avoid it entirely.

And to quote when of the most honest and downright blunt girls I know: "innocence is attractive."

Maybe for a "friend" but not a "lover."

[Shidoshi]

Shysoul, if you don't mind me asking, what ever happened to that girl you were starting a relationship with?

[DragonGirl724]

DragonGirl724, Just because someone is inexperienced doesn't mean you would be a "trail GF." Personally, I have no experience in that stuff, but I'm looking for the real deal. I know what I want, always have. You'd be surpise at how the inexperienced ones know what they are doing better then guys with much more experience. They just hold it all back for the right person.

 

all i meant was that people can think one way & feel one way & the people they encounter in life help mold them. and sometimes a transformation takes place. its called 'experience'. i am not the same person i was at 18 when i had my first BF. i learned a lot about guys throughout my experiences & maybe not EVERY INEXPERIENCED PERSON, but most, think they know what they want, think they know what they need to know, (both about themselves & the opposite sex) when indeed they dont. im a strong believer that you learn the best through experiencing it first hand, & when i said 'i dont want to be someones trial GF' b/c being where i am mentally at 21 is b/c of all my experiences. i wouldnt want to be with someone who hasnt experienced a breakup, heartache, a shared LOVE, an intimate relationship etc... & how to deal with all those things. its just my personal preference.

 

-DG724

[ShySoul]

DragonGirl724,

 

I understand what your saying and I respect it. I just think that in saying that you are missing out on alot of great guys who might just be perfect for you. Just because you haven't been in a relationship doesn't mean he hasn't felt heartache or something that feels like a breakup. Try putting all your heart into wanting to be with someone but knowing that you can't (say she has a boyfriend or does just want to be friends). It's devastating and feels like you have broken up, even if it was never official. They can have shared love, just not in the romantic huggy kissy way. They can know how to deal with it: take your time to grieve and be sad, realize its for the best, stay friends, don't come on desperate or clingy, and move on when the time is right. It's your choice, I'm just saying that inexperienced guys have more going for them then you think.

 

Shidoshi,

 

If being 20+ without inexperience is such a detriment, how come I've had at least 3 girls in the last month tell me not only is my innocence appealing, but that I'm even lucky in a strange way to not have had anyone yet because my heart is still open to possibilites and not "polluted by bad experiences with harmful people." They see that my inexperience isn't anything to be cautious of, they think its special. It's a refreashing change of pace, makes me unique. If most girls aren't like this, I guess I'm just lucky in meeting the right kind of girls.

 

Some girls like teaching things. Or maybe the real fun comes in learning things together. Face it, each person is different, so each time is going to be different. Each person has different things they like or dislike. What is appealing to one person isn't appealing to another. So each new person is a whole new sense of discovery and exploration. If your just going off of what you've done before, you'll miss out on picking up on the small things that she likes and giving her the unique attention she deserves.

 

"You'd be surprise at how the inexperienced ones know what they are doing better then guys with much more experience."

 

You say it's impossible? Never underestimate the impossible. Ok, someone mentioned a sports analogy in another of these posts that I've been wanting to use so here it is. Think of me as Tom Brady, the 6th round draft pick, back up quarterback who no one expected much of. He had college experience, but any football fan will tell you that professional ball is a whole another game. No professional experience. Yet he now has 3 SuperBowl Rings, 2 SuperBowl MVPs, is undefeated in the playoffs, and might be the best all around player today. That's more than most people who have been in the NFL for a decade can say. Or Ben Rothlisberger of the Steelers who ran off 13 wins, undefeated in his rookie year. It wasn't experience, it was talent. They knew what they were doing and had the skills. All they needed was an opportunity. Give me or any other inexperienced guy the right opportunity, and will use our natural talent. On the other hand, experienced guys can become complacent. It depends on the guy, but experience doesn't always mean better and inexperienced doesn't always mean clueless.

[DragonGirl724]

shysoul,

 

im sure inexperienced guys do have a lot to offer, but personally i wouldnt have the patience for it at this point in my life. i wouldnt completely shun a guy right off the bat who hasnt had a GF before, but i would def be more cautious. but hey who knows who we may end up with.

 

-DG724

[kskm]

Shy Soul;

 

I have noticed that a lot of times when you post after people you tend to address the people that posted.. not the poster. It would be one thing if you said what you thought- your advise- but you specifically address people (using thier names) that also gave advise, almost like you are telling them how to think. I think you will save a lot of arguments if you would just adress the poster and not people that posted.

[DragonGirl724]

im going to stay out of this shysoul/yahoo thing after this post but i would like to say something.

 

no one here has to take the advice given by other members. if shysoul or another "inexperienced" member never said he had no experience but he feels this that & the third should be done in bed etc...would it make his advice any "less helpful"?

 

people give advice here from all walks of life. i dont think its necessary to know the exact backround the advice your given is coming from. its up to the reader to take the advice given here or not.

 

and i agree with somethings yahoo said as well. but i dont think this back & forth debating will work out. b/c people are the way they are & nothing no one says here will change it. and as for mods not allowing you 2 to post in the same topics...it cant happen. they cant play referee. if you see something the other says & you feel that your reply to it will turn into this big major fall out, then simply dont post to it.

 

this topic shouldnt be all about one member inparticular.

 

ps: congrats on graduating shysoul.

 

-DG724

[DragonGirl724]

As far as the STD thing....there is no set rule that after 2 partners or 12 partners will your risks of contrating an STD be much of a difference. children are sometimes BORN with STD's and they have NO EXPERIENCE! if a child is born with AIDS, and he/she finds a GF/BF 18 yrs down the line & they share their first sexual excounter together & their partner now contracted AIDS from them, even after being with ONE PERSON they have an STD...and then theres another person who slept with 12 people who have had no history of STDs...its just the luck of the draw. the only way to prevent any STDs is to get tested & have your partner get tested before engaging in any sexual activities.

 

-DG724

[ShySoul]

kskm,

 

I started addressing people directly once they started directly addressing and challenging me. If you remember that long topic that was going, I had a half dozen guys directing comments to me. To help keep things straight and remember who said what, I started addressing people directly. But I've always said that what I say to one person I say to everyone. I've also always said that people are free to agree with me or not, I'm just going to voice my opinion because I feel it needs to be said in order for people to get all sides of the equation.

 

I think that when one person posts the topic should be mainly about him or her, but that the problem often is being felt by more then just the original poster. So while the advice is tailored to one person, often it can be applied on a broader basis to anyone reading. And many of the topics I post under, it is because I feel some connection to the individual. So I'm trying to use what I have experienced to help them out.

 

DragonGirl724, thanks. Graduation, exciting but scary.

[DragonGirl724]

WHY DOESNT EVERYONE JUST STOP IT ALREADY!

 

YO GET BACK TO THE TOPIC!! IM SURE JOE45 DOESNT APPRECIATE HIS TOPIC GETTING SWAMPED WITH BS DRAMA BETWEEN MEMBERS!

 

-DG724

[joe45]

i'm 24 male asian yea lol. thanks for the free advice on free things. hope girls out there actually would like it

[ShySoul]

Hey joe45,

 

Sorry if it seems like your topic was being taken over. I didn't mean to do that. But, in my opinion which your free to take or ignore, don't think it should matter. Some girls may prefer experience, some may like inexperienced guys, some won't care one way or the other. What matters is that whoever you are with likes you for you and is ok with your experence level, etc. If two people really like each other and have a special connection, all of that stuff will be thrown aside anyways.

[Shidoshi]

First I want to say that I don't think I'm hijacking this thread. I think our arguments can help Joe45 understand our view points relating to the topic.

If being 20+ without inexperience is such a detriment, how come I've had at least 3 girls in the last month tell me not only is my innocence appealing, but that I'm even lucky in a strange way to not have had anyone yet because my heart is still open to possibilites and not "polluted by bad experiences with harmful people."

Have you "dated" any of these girls? I'm going to assume you haven't. This type of response is pretty common of women. I don't know what your relationship is to these girls, maybe they're telling you these things to make you feel good about yourself, but I know for a fact that most women DO NOT want that. Yeah, it sounds good on paper, but lets put it into actual practice and see how far you get.

If most girls aren't like this, I guess I'm just lucky in meeting the right kind of girls.

It's still just lip service. Women say things like that all the time because it "sounds good," but it's a totally different story when dealing with it face-to-face. How old are these girls? That makes a huge difference also.

 

About your football analogy.....it doesn't apply to this situation. If the guy had "college experience" he has SOME experience. We're dealing with a guy who has ZERO experience. I'm not trying to discourage the guy, but I'm being honest with him (as some of the female posters have been) about what women like.

 

Joe45, how about you go out and ask girls around your age what they think about it (not saying you tell them it's about you personally). Yes, everybody isn't the same but lets be realistic about this. The reason you're here asking is because you do have some idea that it's problem with girls your age, and I'm confirming it is.

 

Look, the best thing for you to do Joe45 is to get out there and socialize with them. Don't even think about what you lack, but what you have to offer. You don't have to go around telling people your business, but get out there and start talking to girls and trying to get dates. Eventually you're going to meet someone that's into you and then you take it from there. Take it one step at a time.