Guys please read and reply....

[esboogie143]

Have any of you ever been involved in a relationship and ended it because you wanted to experience life??? Have you then treated the ex like crap for no reason...every time she would call you/or try to contact you??? Why wouldn't you tell her that your seeing someone? Though its not serious...but its just like a chick on the side that keeps you occupied...my biggest question...why wouldnt u be honest?

 

She still turns you on and are intimate with her once in a while!! Do you think of ever getting back?

 

Thoughts please....or anythinthing relating to any other situation in regard to the ex and you wanting to move on but she's still there and you knows she's a good girl but just dont want to be in a relationship nor want to be tied down?

[RayKay]

My guess is you are the woman in this situation, and you are looking for reassurance he wants you back.

 

Sorry, but I have to say you are putting yourself in a situation that is conducive only to being a doormat and to being used.

 

Just because someone breaks up with you does not mean they will no longer find you attractive, or when it is offered to them be intimate with you. It does not mean they hate you or want to hurt you, so might not tell of other people they are dating. It also means they broke up with you and don't want to be bothered by you calling - there are many times people don't really want to be true friends after a breakup! They do not owe it to you to be honest....they are no longer committed to you and do not need to explain themselves.

 

They may still think you are an awesome person, I know my ex thought and still thinks I am a great girl, and we talk often and are friends...but the fact is they don't think you are awesome enough to hold onto or to give up on everything else out there. If someone really loves you, they won't let you go at risk of you finding someone else. They won't be dating others while sleeping with you.

 

Don't think of it as "not wanting to be tied down" or "not ready for relationship right now" as it only keeps you hoping for that sliver of a chance and holding on...try to think of it as they chose to NOT be with you, rather than to BE with you. Now, knowing that, shouldn't you move on?

 

Stand up for yourself and put an end to allowing yourself to be in this situation...you may "want" to move on, but you are not taking the steps to do so right now.

[hockeyboy]

i left a girl once (not as serious as your relationship) and we hooked up from time to time because she was good looking and i could. now that she has taken that away from me it makes me want her more

[lady00]

Hi,

I have read your other posts and I'm assuming you're talking about the same ex...everything you've said about him makes it clear that he's a jerk. Every time you hook up with him you end up in tears because he doesn't want anything more...this isn't good. You really, really need to let this guy go.

[tiger_lilies]

I have a male friend who's been going with his girl for over two years now. He tells me that he's tried breaking up with her a couple of times but each time she begs and pleas for him to come back to her. She loses about 10 pounds each time they break up because she apparently can't handle the break up.

My friend tells me that he does things on purpose to piss her off so that she will be the one to break up with him! Thing is, she never will...she's way too in love with him to see that he is treating her like crap!

 

I asked my friend why he doesn't he just be honest and break it off completely? He's cheated on her, he constantly complains about her yet, he continues to be her "boyfriend". He continues to hide many things from her including being friends with me because she gets jealous over the silliest things.

 

His response was not an adult type of response. He admits that he will get crazy jealous if he breaks up with her and she runs out and finds herself a new man. She's pretty and would have no problems finding another guy. Yet both continue in this destructive relationship for what reasons?...I don't know.

 

From what I can tell, she is extremely self conscience. I think that's what's stopping her from finding someone who will treat her better, like the queen that she is.

My male friend also admits that she is not the one he wants to marry and that he is keeping her around until someone better comes along. Geez! I don't condone what he's doing, but I can't tell him what he should do either. It's his life and his relationship.

 

Don't let go of your pride. Know yourself enough to not allow such terrible treatment, especially coming from someone who says they love you.

[esboogie143]

Thank you alll soo much!!! And of course i am the girl (which u all already knew) and i have not gotten the heart nor strength to give up on hope though I KNOW I better...cuz im only hurting myself more and more EVERYTIME!

[h_b_k_02]

My ex girl broke up with me because she as well wanted to be selfish.

 

Well, I have actually began to feel a little more comfortable. She has been mean, then nice, then mean, then nice to me. Now I am being selfish myself.

 

The thing is, if these people want to be selfish, it means they are not ready to settle down. I believe that when the "Me first" approach is used to break up with someone, then once the "Me first" plase is gone, they will feel worse than you do at this time.

 

I do have hope as well, that is healthy and there is nothing wrong with that. But NC needs to be used and you need to stick to your guns. Do not give him access to your feelings, your body and whatever else because he is being selfish and you know it.

 

Don't call, don't write, don't nothing. I did this, my ex would call all puppy dog because she did not like it. I will continue to allow her to initiate the contact because the way I see it, it is only 5 minutes out of every day or week, or whatever, only 5 minutes out of my life, and only if I allow her to have that 5 minutes to speak with me. I am starting to see her as a coward because even her own parents have taken my side on this issue, and you know something isn't right because a parent should always be there for their kids.

 

Heck, just 4 hours ago my ex had called to go for lunch, and it was difficult but I declined. I analyzed rejecting her for lunch for a few hours but now I know I did the right thing because it would hurt too much to see her and know that this is the person that broke my heart for her own selfish reasons.

 

I will read into the rest of the situation some time this evening and try to comment on the entire situation in time. For now though, stop analyzing so much because remember, these are the people that we trusted with our heart and life and what did they do but rip and tear it from us!

[lady00]

I KNOW I better...cuz im only hurting myself more and more EVERYTIME!

 

Write that down on a post-it note and stick it somewhere where you can see it frequently. And underneath it write: I am worth better than this and I deserve the absolute best. It may sound lame but do whatever you have to do to remind yourself. What you're dealing with isn't easy...I'm sure we all have stories of the bad exes we couldn't get over and I'm sure than many of us did eventually. I know I did because I finally got to a point where I realized that he wasn't worth my time...he wasn't that cute or that nice or that great after all and there were tons of better men out there that I had been missing out on getting to know because I was so caught up in him. So, don't beat yourself up for having a hard time with this but just make sure you put an end to running back to him. You can do it and you need to do it. You will be happier that way. And of course, keep venting here if that helps you.

[esboogie143]

Thanks lady00!!!

[NorthStar90745]

You need a REAL MAN not someone who is out there trying to prove that he is one of these so called "players" now a days. leave this looser behind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. he will come crawling back to you for some booty...but dont give it to him..tell him that you found a co-worker that was much better in bed...bruise his ego..lol.....MOVE ON...with some dignity and pride

[NorthStar90745]

oh yeah, take that crappy avatar picture of yours and place a nice sexy picture of yoursel...quit feeling sorry foryourself..this guy is not worth it...sorry....ii so admire women who give and love all...to a man...

[iamonlyhuman]

TO ES BOOGIE123,

 

Good question!! oh yea good responses too. right now iits NC for me so i can heal thats all, my partner cheated on me, so becasue of that i dont want him back even if he changed his mind, i wouldnt be able to trust him ever again, i saw him 4days ago, and i couldnt even look at him the same way... i couldnt live with that....No Way!!

 

ESBOOGIE out of interest is your star sign Scorpio by any chance???