Sex painful... ???

[Shabby]

I know that no one here is a doctor and all that... I'm just curious and weirded out and thought I may get some personal experiences!

 

For the ladies... how long did it take you to not hurt like heck during sex? I mean, everything I read it's like "oh the first few times MAYBE." Now... for me it's been... sheesh... three or four months... and it still hurts BADLY. Bad enough that I feel horrible because my boyfriend can rarely get off that way since I'm usually trying to not wince and yelp... he can't even get too much inside since it hurts so much and I am allegedly (I wouldn't know?) so tight.

 

Is this normal... or... is there something horrible and terrifyingly wrong with me that will inevitibly become embarrassing?

[Esprit]

Hey Shabby,

 

I'm sorry you're having such painful experiences. I would talk to a doctor or a gynocologist about the problem, because after three or four months probably isn't too good. Are you two having sex regularly, or just every few weeks?

 

As for me personally, I never once experienced pain during sex, not even the first time...so I can't really help you there. Sorry. But I hope this is something that can be fixed.

 

Good luck!

[Shabby]

*sob* Girls with no pain ever are no fair...

 

It's not TOO regularily, but enough that I'm thinking it should be better by now... once a week at the least? I don't even have a gyno, arg.

[kskm]

Once you are 18 or sexually active- which ever comes first- you need to see an OBGYN. Especially if you are going to be having sex regularly (birth control) or with multiple partners (STD testing). Not to mention you need to go every year for a check up- cancer and such. You can then ask them about this. Also maybe sure you are properly lubed up, some girls like me never make their own lubrication so you can buy KY at the store, but it could be hurting worse because of that.

[Strandysmommy]

yea it hurts for me a little bit. I am still getting used to it though. There are several things that could be occouring: your hymen may not be completely done away with, that is, the membrane that covers the entrance to your vagina needs to be broken and that process can be painful. Even if it's partially intact it can still hurt. Though if you've been doing it for the past four months now I'd say it might be gone now.

 

Changing positions can help, having him enter slow and then gradually work up speed can help. If you're really tense or scared, or if you're not attracted to this guy...that can all play into it as well. But I'd really get yourself in to see a gyno.

 

Oh and one more thing. All the "expereinced" folk I have asked, regarding my painful expereince, said they couldn't stress enough the importance of lubrication. Even if the condom is pre-lubed it's not enough sometimes, or sometimes the condom is not of the right make. Straight up latex can be pretty scrapey.

[Shabby]

Yeah, I knew about the being 18 ob/gyn thing, but haven't been to my doctor in... like... two years, so that's probably why she hasn't made me... and let's face it, I don't wake up going "I'll find myself an ob/gyn today! woohoo!" I'm turning 19 in a month though, so I probably need to get on that...

 

Never tried the er, "non natural" lube thing... probably because neither myself nor him have our own places... and I agree, straight latex is absolutely HORRIBLE, I got on birth control so now I don't deal with that as often... different positions, done but still hurts to some degree... VERY frustrating. One night I ended up crying because I had this perfect night planned out and it would have been perfect except I'm not moaning cuz it feels good, I'm moaning because it KILLS!

[PAdreamer]

My guess is that your guy is just big for you. Every man and women are built differently than others, and size only matters in terms of how good the fit is. It is possible for a guy to be TOO big for you, which tears and stretches you and makes it painful for quite a while. The first guy I was sexually active with, we had a sexual relationship for almost a year and a half. He was just too big for me, and every time hurt and I never ONCE enjoyed it. So, it just depends.

 

My fiance, the guy I'm with now, is truly a perfect fit for me, and it has never hurt and has always been pleasurable.

[hektik02]

I seriously doubt it's cause he is "TOO BIG". After 4 months, no matter how big he was it shouldnt continue to hurt during intercourse. Their is a thing called Dyspareuina where pain occurs in the genitals before, during or after intercourse. In women, dyspareunia os often related to vaginismus, a condition in which muscle spasms of the vagina prevent intercourse. This ussually occurs when their is fear is present or you are experiencing high levels of anxiety. This is clearly psychological though. If you think its not related to you then disregard it. My girlfriend experiences pain during sex but not enough to cry but enough to not enjoy it (she tells me she only has sex to make me happy). And I would not consider myself too big. If it continues you should probably see a doctor or maybe even a psychologist.

[BellaDonna]

If you're not turned on before you're having sex, it's not going to feel good. This seems like a vicious cycle for you. Sex hurts, so it has become something aversive (negative/unpleasant) and then you can't get turned on for the next time since you have to worry about it hurting. I've experienced this before when I first became sexually active... I used to lay there and think "when the..... is this going to END!?" It can be VERY UNPLEASANT if you're not into it, especially if your boyfriend thinks sex should be a high-speed pumping extravaganza, with no attention to your needs.

 

Younger guys tend to need a little coaching.

 

I do agree you should see a doctor, strictly for preventative health reasons- however I don't think this is anything medical.

 

You need to communicate with your partner. Under no cirumstances should you be laying there, wanting to "wince and yelp". The boy needs to learn how to please a woman, but he'll never know unless you guide him.

 

Your anatomy is capable of so much. You deserve to have sex that is fulfilling. It sounds like he hasn't brought you to orgasm yet. When you do have a pleasurable experience, you won't believe what you were missing, but step one is to communicate.

 

Good luck!

 

-BellaDonna

[Rainy]

I do know that if you are not turned on enough sex can be very painful,

 

try lots more foreplay and see what happens and get an appoinment with a gyno to put your mind at rest,