I'm Too Shy And I Have No Life

[Treble Turtle]

Okay, I don't know how to write this, so it will be probably written badly, especially because it's 2AM and I have a cold and I'm sick. But anyways.

 

I'm really *shy* around people and it's kinda ruining my "life". My problem is that, well, I think I'm a stupid retard. I always look down on myself and I think I'm worthless, etc.

 

When I go to school, I don't talk at all. I just go sit in my seat and don't talk at all. When someone says something, I just say "yeah" or "nah". Or something similar. I don't talk in full, complete sentences.

Also, there's a girl in there, who I'm not attracted to or anything, but looks at me weird all the time, like I'm really ugly and whatever, which is probably true. And I don't talk to guys either, so I have no friends there.

 

Then in second period I just sleep, but before I do that, people, again, look at me weird. It bugs me.

And yeah, no friends.

 

During lunch, I don't really talk during lunch either. I sit with the popular guys who get *action* all the time. Which is pretty weird, considering that I'm a loser. It's a long story how I'm able to sit with them, so I would rather not go into that.

 

In third period there are no girls. Heh. It's a computer class. But for a change, I have a friend there. Why? Because he seen me posting on the internet and seen my Photoshop skillz and heard that I listen to funny music. And well, he thinks I'm cool. I make him laugh a lot of times with something. Which is pretty cool.

But he didn't thought I was cool until he seen me post on message boards and etc.

 

Fourth period is a computer class too.

When I first started getting in there, I didn't talk to anyone. I just used to work on my projects and stuff. People were making fun of me, for being smart and finishing projects in less than an hour, while for others, it took days to do. I'm being called a *homosexual*, big nosed (it's true though. It's bigger than Jay Leno's chin) and a loser (true too). Though it bothers me.

Then two weeks after me being in class, I started to post on different websties and make funny Photoshops. So the guy who sits next to me, starts laughing at them and showing it to other people in class. I'm declared funny and I talk to people. Though girls in there think I'm an -butthole- for making Photoshops, involving the Pope, Terry Schivavo etc. (I made them for a comedy website's forum)

 

So the thing is, people think I'm a loser, till they see me doing stuff on the internet.

 

Now I'm becaming tired, so I will speed up with this.

 

The other thing is that girls online think I'm cute/hot whatever and I'm funny. Though when I go to school, people (I think) think I'm very ugly and not worth talking to.

 

I never really had a girlfriend...well, I did. Once. For two weeks. We met online, she thought I'm hilarious and cute and blah blah blah, but I never kissed her or made any moves on her, so she thought I don't like her and we broke up.

 

So what I'm asking right now?

 

Well...

 

How could I make more friends in school and well, be attractive to girls? Or...hmm...show girls that I'm a romantic, nice guy, who doesn't just find fun in making 9/11 flash movies (I know. I know. It's all in the humor sense though. link removed)

Like, I just talked to a girl online, who thinks I'm such a nice guy and stuff. But I can't show myself to people in school and stuff....

 

Meh.

 

Please help.

PS: I'm 16 by the way.

[Celadon]

Treble Turtle, welcome to the board. Sorry to hear you're in this situation.

 

Yeah, you come accross pretty personable in writing. So the real you seems fairly likeable. So (being logical) I guess I'd ask you what's holding you back at school in getting to know people? Shyness, sure. But shyness is another way of saying, you don't want to risk being rejected. It's also a way of saying, you don't know HOW to socialize.

 

So, clearly one thing that needs to change is ... you can't think of yourself as a retard anymore. That attitude's gotta go. It may be comfortable or "safe" to think of yourself that way, because you don't get rejected by anyone else if you reject yourself first.

 

Problem is, you won't be accepted by others - and feel the freedom to make friends - if you're putting yourself down. Shy is one thing, but criticizing yourself is not healthy.

 

Here are some basic tips on social skills:

 

- Smile more

- Make eye contact (keep it friendly and brief; don't stare)

- Say hello to people

- Tell yourself about your positive qualities. Not just the Photoshop stuff, but other stuff about you as a person. It'll improve your confidence.

- Think of things you have in common with other people. Ask people questions - "Are you going to the game?" "How's your English class?" "What are your plans for the summer?" Keep it simple, and have something interesting to say on the topic.

- If you REALLY feel badly about how you look, try to change some things. New glasses, new jackets, different haircut, whatever. Explore your style, and have fun with it.

 

Hope this helps some. It's late, so hopefully i'm still making sense.

[Ursomeone]

Hi Treble Turtle,

 

It is interesting to share with you that personally I have experienced very similer situation in my life too...

 

I would never talk to any body in the class, had no friends, never joined the school soccer team or any other healthy activity, would become very kind of afraid if a teacher asked me a question even I would knew the answer more perfectly then anyone in the class and many many more problems..... But then it was too much, i had to change something to overcome this...

 

After some very easy efforts and of course little tolarance I was able to be a complete new person...so i suggest you try the confidence on line courses and some other tricks.

 

Visit this link for some confidence tricks and tips:

 

bbc.co.uk/radio1/onelife/personal/confidence/tricks.shtml

 

 

Good Luck.

[Treble Turtle]

Thank you so much on the advices!

I will try them out tomorrow.

[wlfpack81]

Hey Treble I'm not a member of Something Awful but I love the Photoshop Pridays they have there. A lot of great photoshop work and I've probably come accross you're work a few times and not even know it.

[Treble Turtle]

Hey Treble I'm not a member of Something Awful but I love the Photoshop Pridays they have there. A lot of great photoshop work and I've probably come accross you're work a few times and not even know it.

Yeah, Something Awful has lots of talented Photoshoppers and many funny people.

But um, I'm not one of them. Haha. None of my work was shown on the frontpage yet. I just participated in one PP (this week's; cereals), but it didn't went through.

 

I still have to practice.

 

 

[Shinobie]

U sound just like me treble.I too think im ugly and i get that same feeling where people look at me weird like their is something wrong with me.Especially girls they look at me like im ugly which i think i am.i have the exact same problems u have most of them.

[smallworld]

Ripped from the greatest movie of all time "Napoleon Dynamite" :

 

Napoleon: "Well, nobody's gonna go out with me."

Pedro: "Have you asked anybody yet?"

Napoleon: "No, but who would? I don't even have any good skills."

Pedro: "What do you mean?"

Napoleon: "You know, like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills."

---

Hey Treble! Don't be so hard on yourself. Being shy is tough. You just need a few minor adjustments in your thinking to break through.

 

The online girls think you're attractive, because you're actually showing them the real you: smart, funny, and confident. It's stupid I know. Girls should like you for your body and your body only , but reality is girls like guys who're fun, interesting, and who've got skills. You've got all three qualities. So why fight it?

 

Romancing women is not that hard. I think you're stuck on the idea that it's your movies that people love, not you. Actually it's the skills (humor, creativity) that you used to make the movie that's got them hot. So why not harness their romantic potential to woo the girls you like??? It only makes sense!

 

If you want a friend, be one. The key is to forget yourself and focus on others. Most people are vain and like it when someone asks them questions about themselves. Start small, crack a joke, ask them "How's it going?", or what they did that weekend, or ask them if they'd like to see your latest production and then show them! If they freak and look at your weird, don't take it personally. You've spent all these years being quiet and sleeping through class, so the new you is going to take a little to getting used to. Just keep plugging at it and make it your biz to have fun and you'll naturally draw in the fun-loving people.

 

One more thing: Losers make fun of others because they need to tear someone down, in order to feel good about themselves. When my husband was a teenager, his cousin (same grade) found it funny one morning to take a running leap and knock the wind out of him with a swift kick to the chest. The cousin found it so funny in fact, that he started doing it every morning until my guy rewarded him with a hard punch to the stomach. I'm not advocating violence, but the moral of this story is stop being an easy target. Use your humor to put the bullies back in their place. Give as good as you get and people will respect you. Good luck!

[KeP]

Shinobie...is your name Brandon?

[Shinobie]

nope sorry

[KeP]

Okay, sounded just like a guy I know ^^ I should be sorry xP

[Treble Turtle]

Again, thank you so much for the advices.

 

Now my only problem left is that I feel ugly. Heh. Bothers me. Now of course I can't change on that, but oh well.

Pic btw: link removed

 

Yeah, WS.

[smallworld]

Pic btw: link removed

 

You're a cutie Treble. Nice eyes! 8)

 

For some reason though I pictured you as the sort who wears a lot of black.

[brahman]

okay this may not be a confidence builder but i hope this help.

 

about 7 months ago i had wrote down nearly evrything i had ever wanted in a girl.

 

after 6 months of randomly going up to women and trying to find out about them and seeing if we had a conection i finally found a girl about a month and a half ago. so far she has every single one of those things.

 

lots of trial, lots of error, lots of sad disappointments, it may suck, but you gotta take the hits of you are serious about getting what you want. maybe randomly going up to MANY girls and having the confedence to hit on the is not you, just try to find what works for you.

[Treble Turtle]

Pic btw: link removed

 

You're a cutie Treble. Nice eyes! 8)

 

For some reason though I pictured you as the sort who wears a lot of black.

 

Thank you.

[Celadon]

You look like a guy who is friendly (in a nice way, not overly slick) with a good sense of humor. Definitely NOT ugly in the least!! I agree with smallworld on your eyes.

[Shinobie]

You look like a pretty normal guy and u dont look like ur ugly.Try not to be like me im so far down in thinking im so ugly its hard to get back out.Be confident about urself and good things will come.