Best Friend or a Jerk

[Giarc]

I have had my best friend for eight years, and we've had a good time, that is, until the time we went to highschool, about two years ago. Before I can really explain the problem, let me explain this. I have always been a personn who believes friends are one of the most important elements in one's life. You should be able to talk to your friends about anything, you should always be there for eachother, and we should always be having fun.

 

Back to my friend. Around the time we went to highschool, he began acting a little more like a jerk. In school we are both smart, but in different subjects, I excel at languages, while he wins in math and science. Whenever we have classes together I always help him out in the language classes, letting him check his work against mine, explaining how I got the answer, and proofreading his work. Unfortunately, when it comes to his area of expertise he does no such thing. In math, I would solve a problem then ask him what he got, but he would either say nothing, make up an answer, or ask me what I got. If he asked the last choice, then I would tell him. if it was right he would say yeah, but if it was wrong he would kinda make fun of it. I would ask how to get the correct answer, or why it is that answer, but he would jsut answer with "Becuase it is" or "figure it out".

 

He talks about our other friends behind their backs, so i'm afriad of what he says about me when I'm not there. He makes fun of me a lot when I'm there, mocking my supposed stupidity. Then that gets the rest of the group to join in, which really irritates me. I'm just as smart as he is, just in different subjects.

 

We fight about a lot of things, and I guess I don't mind that,b ut its the fact that he doesn't and cannot admit when he is wrong. He will not give up even after he is proved wrong, and when I am wrong he rubs it in my face. When he find out somehting supid that I did, he doesn't let it die. He brings it back constantly, over and over, even though it was just a stupid mistake, and then makes seem as if he would never do anything as stupid as that.

 

When he doesn't get his way he'll do soemthing to try and get it. Like he'll throw his pencil into the middle of the classroom and then tell me to go get it. When I don't he'll hit me, or take some of my stuff, or rite on my papers until I get it for him. I ssee no reason why i should get these for him, so I don't. The worst thing is that if he take son of my belongings then it is so hard to get him to give it back. He holds it away from me and I can't exactly yell at him in the middle of class. Eventually he just tosses it somewhere, and I need to get up in order to get it.

 

He is constantly acting as if he is better than others, and doesn't seem to have any emotion of others in him. He does what he wants, when he wants, without regard for others' feelings. If we make arrangements to meet our group of friends fo lunch, if he gets to the meeting spot first, he doesn't wait for everyone. He'll wait for me and then leave. Both him and I have to wlak home everyday, so we usually catch rides with our friends, however one of our friend's parent only drives us to their house and we have to walk the rest of the way. He despises that. While i dont like walking, I think it is much better than wlaking the whole way, but he hates it. He thinks that just becuase we are the mother's son's friends, she should go out of her way everyday to take both of use home, when its only a 5-10 minute walk from their house to ours.

 

Finally, the favors. Whenever I do a favor for him, no matter how big or small, I never get anything in return. I know I should do things to be nice, but I don't even get a thank you... ever! When I let him have some paper, he won't give me any the next day, even though he has a full binder.

 

I've known him so long and we have so much in common, but this hings just irritate me. Its as if our friendship as been an illusion all along. I could really use some help on this.

 

Sorry if this is long, but I needed to get this off my chest.

[MetallicAguy]

I have a similar problem....except this guy is a total **** head. One thing I know is that, I don't know why this is but, usually when people have long friendships they tend to not last for some reason. Now I know people that are like 30 and still best friends with someone since about 7th grade, but today, there's a lot of people that have this problem. They basically cling onto old issues and stuff to make fun of you, because they can't get over the past. They need a life

[Mermaid]

Your friend is abusing you and you deserve much better.

 

Unfortunately, sometimes between our childhood and our teen years, we grow apart from those to whom we were once the closest. This boy may have been your best friend once, but he's not anymore. Instead, he's become a cruel bully who hurts you for sport.

 

Cut your losses, grieve if you need to for the loss of the friendship, and then find new friends who will treat you with respect and compassion, and who will not derive entertainment at your expense.

[randy]

Yep, this guys is a "jerk". From what you have said, he is like this to everyone, but more so to you because you are his best friend. He thinks he could get away with it because you would think, "o he is my best friend and I don't want to do anything to hurt the friendship". When the reality is he has already done enough to hurt the friendship.

 

If I were in your position I would have hit this guy in the gut long ago. Maybe give that a try. Next time he does something anoying....WAM!

 

I know it sounds like a bit to much, but sometimes people like him need that to realize that they can't treat people like that.

 

Than again...you can always try talking to him first. Tell him you don't like it when he does these things to you. If he still does'nt listen, then...maybe...WAM!

[depressedteen]

yep hes a jerk, and im goin through pretty much the same thing... like today my friend needed all sorts of things, money, a ride home, hepl with some classwork, and i hooked him up with this new girl hes had a crush on for a long time.... and when he gets home, he calls me and tells me how bad of a person i am.... ur not alone