Loved, Got love and STILL LOST!!

[vinayak08]

Hi. I have beenwith this girl i like for over 2 1/2 years now. I used to speak to her nearly everyday for around 3 hours..Now she has moved to a far off place and talkin has become a little costly. But she spends without thinkin. and i do that too. She has always been calling me..and i too sometimes call her. I recently proposed to her. She said yes but she also said that there is no future to it because her parents won't agree to it. And she is that kind of girl who won't go against her parents. So we broke off but then within two days both of us felt so so lost that we started speaking again. Both of us gave the same reason that we will be friends again. Now we are friens but then again she is spending a lot of money and hence we are spending lot of time. Both know we love eachother .. and also know that we wont be together. Both have the same fear that when will the parting happen. But according to me it will be more painful later because we are growing fonder day by day.. PLEASE GIVE SUGGESTIONS WHAT TO DO...i am going crazy thinkin...!!![/code]

[vinayak08]

PLEASE PEOPLE POST REPLIES.....MY main intention of posting my problem was to get some solution.......

[Alabama]

It sounds that you two both love each other very deeply, but there is nothing to keep it going. The fires are dying. How far is the place she's moved? If you are at least talking to her on the phone, then that is good contact. If there is no way for you two to be together, then it is just best to be friends. You can't force her, if she does not wish to go against her parents wishes. It's painful, but it's best I say to let things be. Good luck! PM me if you want anymore advice.

[ShySoul]

The two of you want to be together right? So you shouldn't let anything get in your way. As much as she might love, respect, and want to please her parents, they aren't the ones talking about marriage. The decision between being together and not being together can only be made by the two of you, no one else should have a say. Now, unless there is some reasonable explanation not to be with her, I say you should go for it. Assuming you are both mature adults who fully understand what you are getting into, then this is your choice and no one else's.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Vin how old are you both?

[vinayak08]

My age is 22 and hers is the same too.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Vin why won't she oppose her parents and why don't they want her to marry you? It seems archaic in this day and age. Perhaps you should break contact if she won't commit and let her brood over her mistakes for a while. You are setting yourself up for heartbreak worse and worse everytime you pine over her and continue to see her. Her decision seems a little weak, don't you think?

[freedom]

Hey, don't go into this heat break thing, it a terrrible direction to go. If she cant go into that direction then she can't, parents are parents. and i know where you are coming from, her parent are her center and it is what defines her. Yes money is being spent, wasted? better go in the direction of disconnecting then carrying on in a dream only to be forced apart by reality. Know what i mean? Major heart ache if you keep going that direction.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

No one is forcing them apart but her. If her parents lover her then they will love her regardless. They sound like really intolerant jerks though.

[freedom]

asian family? strict family morals? many reasons, doesnt mean they are jerks. Sometimes its just hard.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Freedom religion and most religions in their basic morality are pretty much the same.

If she is strong she will pursue the guy anyway.

[freedom]

errhh... religion, something a is not a good subject here i noticed so will not go there. it tends to bring up a host of screaming a shout fits about points of view. But there a some religion that have strict control over the women within the religion, but this isn't about religion, it is about upbringing. Strong or not, it is about the childs upbringing that defines who they are. If she runs to the guy she may be goings against her family moral values which are her as well.

Anyway, we are assuming there isnlt enough details

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Freedom identity is about more than upbringing. I balked at my mom's religion and she is very religious. She has enough resources in this country to choose who she wants to be.

[freedom]

buddy you are a guy. remember that. Guy get away with sh1t. For a girl its alittle different. and still have to point we dont know enough to go on about the subject whether its a religion thing, the racial things, upbringing. We are right now assuming...no good advice comes from asssumptions...

and if she is forcing them apart then hasnt she choosen?? why is it that you cant respect that?

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Guy's actually take quite a bit of heat, but that aside, they are just as pressured about religion as girls. God I will never hear the end of my mom's self-rightuous sanctimonious religious banter.

As far as her decision goes, I don't respect her decision because I think her priorities are bad and are created by fear. People usually have to really search to find somebody who is healthy for them and it irritates me when somebody throws it away because they are afraid of what other people think -- at least, in the case of religion. (sometimes I can appreciate a parents protection). It has nothing to do with not respecting "HER," but if she asks advice, I am gonna be honest when giving it.

[freedom]

Nepolean, errhhhh it a guy that ask our opinion... i am stating that the girl has made a decision not to go against the parents.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

I'd say that if she won't defy her parents on this, then marriage is out of the question even if she woke up one day and decided to defy them, because they'd be interfering left and right. And then the marriage would be unhappy or would end in divorce.

 

So looking ahead to the future, it is probably best that you let this one end. What are her parents' reasons for not thinking y'all should be together?

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Honestly I don't care much about her relationship anymore.

I have learnt you can't stop somebody from their own personal weakness.