Have I lost Him For Good?

[sweettart8848]

I started dating a guy I had been friends with for two years. We were exactly alike in our personalities and the way we handled relationships; we never had real relationships or even fallen in love. We just played with people, only getting what we wanted.

Then we started dating but nothing too serious. The night before he asked me to be his girlfriend, we were at a party. I was really intoxicated and ended up kissing his best friend; he walked in on us. We eventually got over that and became serious.

About three months into the relationship he broke up with me. He said he wasn't ready for a relationship. Two nights later he started sleeping with his ex again. Only a few weeks later we got back together and worked everything out.

We dated a little over nine months and everything was perfect, sure we fought a little but who doesn't? I became the first person, other than his mother, that he ever said "I love you" to and he started opening up.

One night we had a few friends over at my apartment and we were all drinking. His friend went into my bathroom and started calling for me. I didn't know what he wanted; I'd only seem him a few times. I went into the bathroom and he grabbed my arms and he kept saying "give me a kiss." Finally I gave him a small peck on the lips and he let go of me. I kept it from my boyfriend for a few weeks.

When I finally told him, he got so anger he dumped me. Now he is giving me all these mixed signals and I don't know what to do. One minuet he says he wants to be with me, I just hurt his pride too bad. Then he says he wants to be friends; then he says he wants me completely out of his life…but he still loves me. We have been apart over a month and I am going crazy. I try to give him space but he won't give me the time of day. I call him once a week and if his friends are around he is mean and cruel. I don't deserve him telling me I'm a cheating slut that should burn in Hell.

I know I messed up but I am truly sorry. And it is killing me for people to tell me they've seen him around with different girls. A couple of weeks ago he told me he wasn't trying to get over me; he doesn't wasn't to date anyone else. Last night he said he wanted to get over me and wants me completely out of his life. I know he's scared and the only reason he's been like this is to prevent himself from being hurt. He's even told me that. I said if he'd just give me chance I'd never hurt him again. I don't know what to do, I am miserable. And I don't deserve being called names and cussed out by him and his friends.

 

[doblersdream]

You certainly don't deserve to be called names and made fun of. You don't mention your ages, but it sounds like your ex bf is just being very immature about it all. The distancer/pursuer theory is relevant in this case. The more you chase/call him, the more you're giving him control, and in his immature way he is using this to 'act big' in front of his mates. My advice is to break all contact. Just wait and see - he'll be the one crawling back to you. What you have to ask yourself though, is if he's worth your time if he can treat you so badly. There's plenty of people out there who know how to treat people with respect.

[dise57]

betrayal is the worst thing in this world.. i dont know if you learned ur lesson or not, doesnt seem like u did. however if you did, you shouldnt let any opportunities pass by, doesnt seem like you went all out for him explaining how you trully feel and what you're determinned to do for the relationship to work and how much he means to you in your life (if he does assuming).

"dont miss your chance to blow, this opportunity, comes, once in a lifetime...."