What do do?

[EstuaryKid]

I think, before I explain, that the answer is to just to remain NC and, if she wants to reconcile, to (paradoxically) wait patiently for that moment whilst getting on with my life. I was wondering what the lovely folk on this forum think.

 

It was a long distance relationship (over 150 miles) and we had been seeing each other about 4 months. I surely falling in love, and she felt the same - we said we loved each other.

However, she had many stresses in her life - work, children, illness - and in the end the long distance was too much on top of everything else, and she ended the relationship.

It's been over a week now with NC - she is still overwhelmed and stressed but I feel guilty for not being in touch, even though I just had to go NC for my own sake.

 

Our time together was really beautiful and we connected deeply on all levels. She said her decision was nothing to do with her feelings but to do with her stressful life and the distance was too much.

I am wondering if I should indeed wait and see if she feels differently once/if this difficult period in her life passes. I think this because it really was the best time in my life in a relationship, and we both felt such joy and happiness.

Or to accept that the long distance was always going to be there (at least for a few years) and that would have been painful. It was perhaps quite short, too, at 4 months or so. To let her go and maybe the deep connection will mean we will be friends when we can...

 

But I keep hoping, given time, she will change her mind and get in touch. I sometimes have to restrain myself from writing/texting... of course (mostly in the mornings before the mist has cleared)! I have unconditional love for her, and said - prior to going NC - that I was there for her if she needed me. So perhaps it's okay to be out of touch.

[Keyman]

I would suggest just getting on with your life, stay NC and move on. If she does get back in touch, then bonus, otherwise, don't push it.

 

It is generally a bad idea to get involved with someone long distance from the start. Couples that are strong together struggle with it.

 

And, to be honest, if this four months long distance is the best experience you have had, you need to find someone nearby and get to know them.

 

Also, it might have felt like a deep connection. but mopst things that are exciting could be seen in the same way. It was only 4 months and you were anticipating a few years of LDR? Just be glad it ended now and not in 2 years.

[EstuaryKid]

Thank you Keyman... that is realistic. When I say the best I meant that I've not felt this way before about anyone, though have had other relationships of course - longer, and not long distance. I decided that, based on the shared feelings, I could do the long distance... she was worth it. Obviously that particular thought hasn't been reciprocated, though things have been very tough for her. It may very well be a blessing that the decision has been made now and not further down the line.

[James3270]

Honestly as hard as it may be, NC is probably your best bet. I know it sounds cliche but if it's meant to be, it will be. Try not to get too hung up in certain outcomes and go do what makes you happy.

 

I wish you the best.

[EstuaryKid]

Honestly as hard as it may be, NC is probably your best bet. I know it sounds cliche but if it's meant to be, it will be. Try not to get too hung up in certain outcomes and go do what makes you happy.

 

I wish you the best.

Thanks James - very much appreciated.