He left me for his best friend and i cannot get over it.

[Ingridizzo]

Hi all,

I'm desperatley looking for answers and some help. My ex had broken up with me about 8 months ago and two months in Febuary ago came back asking to "date again". If you dont mind sitting here reading my back story it would be greatly appreciated.

 

My ex is 36, and im 26. We met when I was 22 and he was 32, I had a very abusive childhood and when i met him i felt so low and angry asking myself why this amazing guy would ever want to be with a pathetic loser like me (my mom was pretty terrible). i had such low self esteem and depression that was not because of him but because of the lack of self love. 6 months into our relationship his mom got horribly sick, and i had no idea how to help, but i tried to understand and i tried to help in any way i could relulting in his mom and I becoming very close. I tried to be ther for him in the best way i could, he never opened up to me about how he was feeling and i just didnt know what to do. His mom started to heal from her disease but he had to be her primary care taker, he started spiraling into a depression and i cant help to think that maybe it was my fault. I later had to move away for college but i would drive down to see him as much as possible and try to make time to see eachother, but sometimes wouldnt be able to see eachother for a month. and 8 months later he breaks up with me in a parking lot. I than hear he's dating his bestfriend ( a close friend since high school) and i was devastated but had accepted it. 4 months after our relationship i had to move back home because i could not afford to pay for school and rent on my own. He came back in febuary asking to try again and "date" i was an emotional wreck! i had thought he was dating his best friend and said he wasnt it was just too much to handle and when he saw how bad of an emotional state i was in he said it "wasnt the rigt time" and left AGAIN! i than find out currently he lied about everything and is dating his best friend who ive met, just two motnhs ago he said he didnt feel that way towards her... I've tutored her for her classes, I've taken care of her so she wouldnt dive home drunk. She was also in a long distant relationship, that she was upset about because they couldnt be together because his kids etc. AND now they are together.

 

and now i think hes proably just so happy with her because how could you not be happy with someone who was your best friend. and all im really asking is what did i do so wrong, I cant help but to think back and think i was too dramatic, or i cried to much or i just wasnt good enough. what did he see in her that he didnt see in me. I am very sorry guys i just cannot help to compare to her. ive done everything under the book to move on (deleted him off social media, physically betterd myself etc) and still 8 months later and it still stings. i really though he loved me was i wrong?

[MissCanuck]

He probably did really love you, at some point in the relationship.

 

People's feelings sometimes change, and there's not always a logical explanation for it. It's hard to say what happened without knowing more about dynamic between you and him, but you cannot assume you somehow weren't good enough.

 

Have you had any help for the emotional wounds of an abusive past? I am sorry you had to go through that. Child abuse can really leave awful scars, and I hope you are making strides to learn to love yourself again.