No one understands

[Kiakitty]

I feel so bad. All he want is me and all i want is for him to get clean....its been months now. We are not together but i live my life as if we were. Without actually being there. Im so mean to him, i dont belive a word he say i never give him a break because its always the same old thing......the person i love is not coming back. I keep my distance and pop my head in and out just to see if there is a chance. But i know deep down inside hes not going to make it. He dont have much time. I want to spend time i dont have to waist on someone who dont understand the ways of their actions...with no one to talk to all i can do is cry and wait for his light to fade away. Only then id be free.

[Wiseman2]

You can free yourself now by not being involved with an addict.

All he want is me and all i want is for him to get clean....its been months now. all i can do is cry and wait for his light to fade away. Only then id be free.

[Kiakitty]

You dont understand.....i didnt ask for this. I cant just make my feelings go away we were together and in love. Thats shallow in general to just disown someone struggling with addiction they are still people too.

[Wiseman2]

They have friends, family, doctors, rehab, therapists to help them and who should be helping them. You are doing this for yourself because you can't let go. You did ask for it by getting and staying involved with an addict.

Yi didnt ask for this. I cant just make my feelings go away we were together and in love.

[abitbroken]

You dont understand.....i didnt ask for this. I cant just make my feelings go away we were together and in love. Thats shallow in general to just disown someone struggling with addiction they are still people too.

 

Your feelings will not go away so long as you "pop in on him" and keep tabs on him. The more distance you put between the two of you the better. You don't have to move to another state -- just don't pop in, don't call, block him on social media. You are not "disowning" him - you are looking after yourself.

[maew]

I feel so bad. All he want is me and all i want is for him to get clean....its been months now. We are not together but i live my life as if we were. Without actually being there. Im so mean to him, i dont belive a word he say i never give him a break because its always the same old thing......the person i love is not coming back. I keep my distance and pop my head in and out just to see if there is a chance. But i know deep down inside hes not going to make it. He dont have much time. I want to spend time i dont have to waist on someone who dont understand the ways of their actions...with no one to talk to all i can do is cry and wait for his light to fade away. Only then id be free.

 

I have so much empathy for this situation Kia... I have some friends that are slowly slipping away like this and it’s absolutely heartbreaking to watch.

 

In the last few years with the opioid crisis at least 5 people that were dear friends to me, relapsed and died of an overdose.

 

The disease of addiction is a horrible insidious thing, that eats people up and spits them out.

 

You need to deal with your codependency so you can get on with your life. And you need to work on letting him go. Because you are right he is not and never will be the same after this. Consider attending Al Anon or Nar Anon meetings in your area (they are for families of alcoholics and addicts) because there you will find people that are going through the same feelings you are.