I have a bf, but also have a crush on a classmate. Help!

[dayoneadvice]

I know this might be wrong, but I'm looking for non-judgmental opinions. Thanks in advance.

 

I'm in film school and have been getting closer with my classmate. Let's call him 'Eric.' When we met back in September, we were just friendly and complimentary of each other's work. During the semester, our class often went out for drinks in big groups, but Eric and I would chat primarily with each other. We have a lot in common, even beyond our obvious mutual interest in film. Anyway, we never hung out alone until I confided in him over email recently that I was having trouble working on my film, and he said: "Let's talk about this in person," and so we got drinks.

 

Thing is, we're both in relationships with other people. When we got drinks, we ended up confiding in each other about our relationship problems, which seem to be similar. We both said that our significant others aren't as passionate about what they do for a living, and that can be frustrating or make us feel guilty for wanting to spend time on our work. They support us, but don't really "get" the all-consuming lifestyle of our love for film.

 

Eventually, my classmate confessed that he is falling out of love with his gf, and wants to break up with her. Nothing about this seemed to directly imply he wanted to date me instead, but it felt like a heavily weighted confession. He said he can't talk to his own friends about it because he and his gf share the same friends, which sort of makes sense. Like, maybe he just likes having someone to talk to? But I just can't seem to shake the feeling that he's attracted to me (and I to him).

 

He texts me a lot to initiate conversation, but it usually begins with a question related to film. So either he is looking for excuses to talk to me, or he genuinely only wants to talk about school/film stuff? However, he always ends up mentioning other things, like TV shows or funny things that happened or our inside jokes. He clearly goes out of his way to talk to me and spend time with me, even suggesting we privately exchange our works-in-progress. (He apparently doesn't do this with our other classmates).

 

I think about him all the time and get excited when he messages me. I'm feeling really guilty about it— I DO love my bf but am concerned about our long term potential, and I can't help imagining Eric being a better emotional/mental match for me. I'm just so confused and want some advice about how this situation might be resolved when there are other people's feelings at stake. Am I overthinking this? Does Eric just see me as a classmate? Is it worth possibly ruining our friendship by trying to find out? Is this a classic case of "the grass is always greener"? I would never cheat on my boyfriend, so this little crush is stressing me out because it won't go away.

[DanZee]

Double post.