I am beginning to think that my ex- might actually hate me

[thefireisoutanyway]

I thought that me and my ex were on somewhat friendly terms. Right after the break up, we hung out a lot, txted each other, and talked to each other on-line etc. (I was still in love with her.) The break up wasn't bad, but basically I felt very little joy in my life unless she was involved in some way.

 

Towards the end of the winter break, I came upon this website, and learned about NC. So NC I did. Kind of.

 

When the Winter Break was over, she e-mailed me, txted, me, asking how come I wasn't visiting etc. etc. I responded... so I guess it wasn't really nc... but...

 

Eventually, the e-mails, the txt msgs sort of died out. She still txted me from time to time.

 

One night, I got a call from her, but I couldn't answer b/c the phone died on me...

 

So anyway, I called her a few days ago, just some chit-chat, and invited her to lunch, as I was going with a group of friends. She said she couldn't make it or something...

 

The next day, after the lunch, I visited some of my friends who live in the dorms in my college, and I thought I'd pay a visit to my ex who lived in the same building.

 

She didn't seem thrilled to see me at all... in fact, it felt like she wanted me to leave asap. (She said she has to finish her reading soon... I told her that I wasn't doing anymore work today b/c of the heat and she said I should go to the library or something to work...etc.) And I would've left right away, but then she was telling me something funny that happened at work...

 

And then, I told her about the lunch... (me not a good story teller ) Then she said she wasn't feeling well, wanted to go to sleep, and asked me to leave

 

...well yeah.

 

It's stupid, but I guess I wanted to vent this out. I don't know.

 

At one point, I thought she was missing me and stuff, but I guess not.

 

From her on-line journal, it seems like her parents are setting her up with someone for a date...

 

This is frustrating... I don't know. There isn't anyone right now that I can just pour all this stuff out.

[heloladies21]

Friend, you can pour everything out to your online family here. This is a great community that helped me a lot through a tough break up a few months ago.

 

1st thing, you're not stupid, this kind of stuff has happened to everyone I've ever known and in exactly the same way. It's OK. It has to happen this way so you can learn and be stronger in your next interactions with the opposite sex. It's OK. But everything has happened as expected so here's what to do now. Do No Contact for real this time, and this includes ignoring her attempts as well. Even though she didn't do it intentionally, she did hurt you pretty bad by breaking up with you. As a result, don't feel guilty for ignoring her calls or emails or whatever. You don't owe her anything, and that includes being her friend. This will help you heal as quickly as possible.

 

In the mean time, go to the gym, dress better, party, concentrate on school/work, and try to talk to some other chicks. Even if you have to force yourself, it's just innocent conversation, unless you want something more, which would actually be even better for you. If you do these things, you will be back on top for sure.

 

You can do it buddy, I believe in you.

[HajiMaji]

Yeah man, it doesnt sound like you are completely over the whole situation - thats totally fine though! You seem to be doing really well.

 

Keep it up. Male + female = complicated. Youll get it man.