I did not cry when i broke up with him that night

[clarity97]

He was my first love and we have been together for roughly 3 months. i know 3 months is not a very long time but the first month of the relationship was one of the happiest time of my life. i used to look forward to seeing him everyday and have butterflies in my stomach whenever i see him. But sadly during the last month of our relationship things changes. I felt that i have lost the spark between me and him. I no longer laugh to his stupid jokes and no longer worry about him and his extreme outdoor activities. I hated myself for the feeling that i am having. He is a very nice guy, i will probably never meet someone like him ever again, but i just can't bear to lie to him, i broke up with him. Technically i didn't break up with him, i just told him that i don't think we are compatible with each other. I guess he just choose to let me go that night. He cried but i did not.

 

After our break up, i thought i will be happier but no, i am not. Maybe because of guilt or maybe because deep down inside i still like him? I used to think what will we be like, if i were to work harder for our relationship, maybe we will still be happily together or maybe we will still end up break up. All these possibilities have been driving me crazy but what's done cannot be undone. To be honest, there is not a single day that goes by that i don't think of him.

 

i don't know why i am writing here, maybe i am seeking for advice, or maybe i am just trying to let out all my feelings that has been inside of me for so long.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately it sounds like you enjoyed the novelty and thrill of new romance and when it wore off, there was nothing there. Learn to recognize this tendency if you want dating/relationships that last more than a few weeks/months.

the first month of the relationship was one of the happiest time of my life. i used to look forward to seeing him everyday and have butterflies in my stomach whenever i see him.

[milly007]

You mention "I guess he just chose to let me go that night".

 

You told him that you didn't think you two were compatible. Not sure what else he was supposed to do?

 

Sounds like you may be having second thoughts about letting him go because he isn't begging for you back, and you're wondering why he let you walk away so easily.

 

You're feeling rejected as a result and this intrigues you and makes you think you may want him back.