Where to go from here. Need advice

[kbwilson]

Synopsis: GF and I broke up about 5 months ago. We were in a LDR. She broke up with me due to being down on myself, insecure, and emotionally unstable. Since then I've worked on myselg through counseling, self help books, working out and restoring my faith in God. I recently moved to her city for my job and in Jan we started back hanging out then had a setback end of January but since then things have beem goinf really well. Weve been hanging out and been on dates and I took her out for vday. Last week weve spent a lot of time together and spent the night with each other a few times(no sex though). Shes been saying she loves me and weve talked about a future together and Ive been taking things slowly and havent mentioned a relationship to her which seems to be working well.

 

My issue: Lately whenever we spend a lot of time together she tends to fall back like today i havent heard from her and yesterday we had a 10 min convo before she went to work but didnt talk later. I want to know if things are going well with us why does she do this? Why doesnt she want to talk to me more regularly like when we were together? Am i overthinking everything? Where do i go from here with the whole situation?

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[WonderingIf]

Why are you spending the night with each other a few times and not having sex after so long apart? Seems like the issue to me.

[Numb4]

Well my first inclination would be she's seeing other people. Let me guess...You pay for everything,she controls sex,when you do have sex it's all about her? She picks at you there's always something wrong with you...Never her?

[boltnrun]

Well my first inclination would be she's seeing other people. Let me guess...You pay for everything,she controls sex,when you do have sex it's all about her? She picks at you there's always something wrong with you...Never her?

 

He said they don't have sex.

[kbwilson]

Weve had sex since I moved here just not in the last month. She says that sex makes her get too emotionally attached to me and that she wanted to see if we could work without sex everyday

[kbwilson]

Well my first inclination would be she's seeing other people. Let me guess...You pay for everything,she controls sex,when you do have sex it's all about her? She picks at you there's always something wrong with you...Never her?

 

She pays for us to go sometimes and never shy about offering to pay for anything. I decline most of the time unless she insist. Honestly there was an issue i created back in January after things had been going well and were just starting to build back momentum towards a relationship but she has said shes afraid of if I havent changed. And doesnt want to get committed to soon only for my true colors to come out later and go through heartbreak again

[RyanJ64]

Shes using you. My ex kept me along for months after our breakup. Whenever I did something wrong no matter how tiny, it was something she would use against me.

 

Some girls like the attention. Knowing theres someone out there that cares for them gives them power, confidence.

Shes not calling cause you guys arent together anymore, shes chatting to other guys now. Shes potentially keeping you as a safety net incase she cant find someone better.

 

Just ask her straight what is going on and youll have your answer. Dont hold onto hope that theres a future with her, it probably never will happen.