Big changes, relationship worries

[Starsabove32]

I'm currently adapting to a life of no alcohol. I was a binge drinker, and it was having a very negative impact on my life. I am seeing my partner for five years who works in a bar, continues to drink and smoke weed. There is no chances of him stopping, and I have to accept that.

 

I have joined loads of activities, and getting involved in groups. While my partner works, smokes weed and watches TV. That's pretty much his life.

 

I spend a lot of evenings alone, which is nice to relax, but lonely having no one else in the house.

 

I can't stop picking at him now, noticing the differences in us.

 

He has no ambition to change or do anything else in his life. Whereas I am the opposite.

 

I'm so confused. I do love him. We get on well... But people have often said I'm selling myself short.

 

I don't know what to do. If we can still work. Going off alcohol has been a massive change in my life. From dealing with stress sober to loss of social circle...

 

Anyone else experienced this or have any advice???

[Snny]

am seeing my partner for five years who works in a bar, continues to drink and smoke weed. There is no chances of him stopping, and I have to accept that.

No, you don't have to accept it. You are free to walk out. He's content and you want t move on... and it's time to move on from this deadbeat relationship.

[Starsabove32]

I didn't mean it's something I have to accept and live with... I'm not an idiot. I meant rather than live in la la land and think he is going to change if i hang on in there.

 

There are also a lot of good qualities I did not mention. Like he is very thoughtful, considerate, attributes to the housework, makes his own money etc etc

 

But thank you for your advice 🙃🙃

[catfeeder]

Are you attending AA meetings? If so, what is it that they tell you about intimate relationships during your first year of sobriety? What is it they tell you about remaining involved with anyone else who isn't sober?

 

If you're not attending AA meetings, there's no time like the present. They're free, and you'll have a sponsor to confide in. Just ask for one.

[DaisyMayPorter]

I guess you won’t know if it’s going to work until you really start to adopt this life. Give it a few months and see how it goes.