MrRedTech33 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 I feel kind of weird even writing this. I guess I will try to tell the base whole story quickly. It was very complicated from the beginning. I was going through a divorce when we met, she still lived with her ex she had broken up with. I got divorced, she moved away from her ex, we started getting closer. we had some ups and downs and even stopped dating for about a week until we hung out again. Through it all we always came back to each other. It had been about 7 months dating at this point and We started doing really well, then she kind of went cold. We hung out again and had a fight, she said she didn't love me and that she didn't mean it when she said it, said she loved her ex and had been hanging out with him again. I was very drunk and it ended badly, us basically not ever going to talk again or see each other. I was such a mess, I love her so much and I was devastated, especially how bad the fight was. After some random late night texts over the next month and a half, we actually had a real text conversation and we ended up meeting up. We both apologized, said how we had missed each other, even said we love each other. Then a few days later she said she could not see me again, that her son was mad she had brought me over. Her son was there when we had our breakup fight, he woke up to us yelling. I respected her decision and left her alone. about a month later I had a show with my band and had a friend invite her. I didn't think she would come but she did. Someone told her I had a girlfriend which I dont', and she left without saying goodbye. Later that night she texted all jealous about me having a girlfriend. The next day she apologized and we started talking again. I thought to go slow and see if we could maybe start dating again. About a week ago she asked to meet up and get a drink, wanted to be my date to a Christmas party. The scheduling didn't work out, so we didn't meet up. we texted a little this last week, and then on Friday new years came up and she said she was hanging out with her ex and friends. I asked if she was with him, she said she was not in a relationship. I asked if she was dating anyone and she said yes, her ex and some other guy. I said "K" and that was basically it. I have been having really bad anxiety and didn't really sleep last night. I wanted to be with her, I think she is obviously still kind of interested in maybe startin up again since we are talking again and she knows I want to be with her. But I don't want to be a option, and I don't want to date someone who is dating other people. I love her so much, but I think I probably need to cut it off. I guess what I am asking is should I just say nothing for now since I am so unsure of how to proceed? Should I tell her I am still interested but not ready to be just friends, and don't want to date unless it is just her and I? go Ghost? tell her how I feel? I even got her a Christmas present and haven't gotten to give it to her yet, was thinking of just dropping it off......please help thanks so much Link to comment
MrRedTech33 Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 she just texted me, don't know what to do Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Hi MrRedTech, What did she text you? Link to comment
MrRedTech33 Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 I kind of want to tell her how I feel, but it's new years eve and I have a feeling if I send that text, she won't reply and we won't talk again for a long time if at all. do I do? Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants, and honestly I'd just flat out tell her unless she wants to be with you, she needs to stop contacting you. Look at how she's making you feel. Why let her do this? I know you say you love her, but she's being really selfish right now. Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Sweetgirl is on it! Take her advice mate.. If no / inadequate response, fresh start in 2018 going full NC. good luck. Link to comment
MrRedTech33 Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 So she texted me after I sent a music clip, saying she wanted to hear more. But she had told me that she's dating her ex again and someone else. So I just said, "that was a oops text" , "nevermind". Haven't heard back and I guess that is ok. Still really effin sad and lonely, missing her and the good times, but I think she must know I am not happy she's dating someone and I am going silent treatment now. Link to comment
MrRedTech33 Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 I am afraid that if she eventually reaches out, I won't exactly know how to handle it. I know I should listen to sweet girl and just be bluntly honest that I am not ready to be just friends and I don't want to date other people and if she's dating anyone else than I guess I will just see her around and wish her the best. Why does love kick ass, and kick your ass? Lol Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 I'm sorry this happened! But look, she probably got the hint, by you saying that was an "oops" text. I was right where you are a little bit ago, and I'm fine now! You will be too. You love her, you miss her, you can't be her 3rd guy! Nor can you be friends. If she reaches out to you again, come here first before you reply. Delete her number so the temptation isn't there to contact her. I know it's hard, but it really helps control that impulse. Just when you give up hope and feel okay, she's going to reappear. Be prepared. Love bites! If only there was a pill for heartache lol , we could all heal faster. Link to comment
MrRedTech33 Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 Thank you Sweet girl, I appreciate your kind words and advice. I am still hurting a lot. Do you really think she will contact me again? I know I am one of the nicest guys she has ever been with. She usually dates Aholes. I am not trying to hope but I know in my heart that I am not ready to give up. I wanted to text her this morning telling her I don't want to give up on her and I. But I should probably have more respect for myself. She's not saying anything to make me feel like she cares about me, and that hurts a lot too. I will definitely post if she contacts. Thanks again sweet girl Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 Thank you Sweet girl, I appreciate your kind words and advice. I am still hurting a lot. Do you really think she will contact me again? I know I am one of the nicest guys she has ever been with. She usually dates Aholes. I am not trying to hope but I know in my heart that I am not ready to give up. I wanted to text her this morning telling her I don't want to give up on her and I. But I should probably have more respect for myself. She's not saying anything to make me feel like she cares about me, and that hurts a lot too. I will definitely post if she contacts. Thanks again sweet girl No, do not contact her. If and when she (and she will) contacts you, firmly let her know she's all in or all out. You will not be her friend nor occasional text buddy. She likes to keep you guys as a little collection, it seems. In time you will begin to feel better. I know it's easy to say. But it will happen. Link to comment
MrRedTech33 Posted January 3, 2018 Author Share Posted January 3, 2018 Ok, I will not contact her. I will follow your advice and try really hard not to set myself up for more anxiety or pain and sadness. Thank you so much for replying to my post and giving me advice, it really helps to know people care and are willing to reach out and say kind things and share their experience and knowledge. I really can't express how much it means to me. Thank you Link to comment
MrRedTech33 Posted January 6, 2018 Author Share Posted January 6, 2018 I am wanting to text her so bad right now. I want to tell her I am sorry for blowing her off, and then tell her my whole piece about how I feel. My friend said don't text her and let her come to me. I don't know what to do. I guess doing nothing on that front is best. I can focus back on my work, which I have a crap load of right now. omg, sorry, just wanted to post here cause I miss her so much and just wish she missed me enough to reach out and try to see me or talk. help Link to comment
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