Weird situation... looking for opinions and thoughts

[jackie103]

I’ll try to make this a clear as succinct as I can but it’s kind of a mess.

 

Basically, in the beginning of November, I matched with a girl on bumble, let’s call her Sara (I am female as well). We went on a date for drinks and then she invited me out with her friends later that night. One of her friends was this guy (let’s call him Rob) who basically acted like both me and Sara’s wingman, asking me about my intentions, telling us both separately to make a move, and just encouraging us to hook up. So I ended up taking her back to my place that night. Since then, she hasn’t shown much interest in seeing me again... I asked her a couple times to hang out and it never became anything. So after trying like 3 times, I deleted her number and figured she would reach out when/if she wanted to. I regularly see her at the bars though but we never speak - only once when we were literally walking towards one another so there was no way we couldn’t say hello.

 

Now, when I met Rob, I felt like he looked familiar and after hooking up with Sara, I realized that I had also matched with Rob on bumble about 2-3 weeks before meeting Sara and we had a very short conversation where he didn’t respond to my last message, which was a question. I didn’t think too much about this.

 

About a week ago on a Wednesday, I went to trivia night downtown like I always do. To no surprise, Sara and her friends were there, including Rob. I didn’t speak to any of them but we all knew each other were there as we always do. So Friday morning that same week, I wake up to a message from Rob on bumble, continuing our conversation from like 2 months ago. At this point, I’m really confused because I know he remembers me and knows that I hooked up with Sara. I message back out of curiosity, and he asks me for my number... I’m still fairly interested in seeing Sara again, so I figured, maybe he is trying to facilitate communication between me and Sara since he acted as our wingman the first time, but I still wonder why Sara wouldn’t just reach out to me herself?

 

So that Friday night he texts me asking which bars I’ll be at.. we never ended up meeting up that night because neither of our friends wanted to leave the bars we were at. Then Wednesday rolls around again this past week and he texts me at night again asking if I’m going out and that he’s at the bar where trivia night occurs. I was with an underage friend that night and we couldn’t get into the bars, so again we didn’t meet up. This most recent Friday, he texts me in the morning asking me if I’m going out that night. He had normally always texted about me going out at like 10pm so this early text was a surprise to me. Anyway, I went out of town this weekend and told him that.. he asked where I was going and I said I was visiting North Carolina and the conversation went on just a little more and then ended. Later that night, I go on bumble and out of curiosity, I clicked to look at his profile and his location was in North Carolina (not the same city I was visiting though).

 

I feel like this guy has alterior motives but I just can’t figure it out... is he trying to set me and Sara up again or is he just trying to hook up with me now?? The part that confuses me is that he asked if I was going out Friday night but then his location wasn’t even in town that night so I have to wonder if he was asking for Sara or what... he mentioned he had a lot of friends in Raleigh and Durham, which is where his location was later that night. And it’s about a 3 hour drive from our town so I feel like it wasn’t a last minute trip but a planned one... but I also don’t know for sure.

 

I feel this whole situation is weird and the fact that Sara hasn’t been brought up with my conversation with Rob makes things a bit awkward but I don’t want to be the one to bring it up and make it seem like I’m still pining over her or something. I’ve seen rob hangin out with Sara and her group of friends fairly often at the bars and it’s been fine before, but now that I’ve spoken to rob, I feel it will be awkward the next time I see them all out.

 

Thoughts??

[DanZee]

I wonder if I'm experiencing generational problems because it seems young people these days don't know how to come right out and ask someone on a date. It's all this, well, I'm going to be at so-and-so, and if you happen to be there you might come over and say hi and maybe we can have sex -- and then people wonder why they're not meeting people! Look, it seems to me Sara wanted a one-night stand and that's it. Rob likes you, but you have to be careful because he might have heard you gave Sara a one-night stand and he might be wanting a one-night stand. Or he wants to date you. If you like Rob ask him if he would like to have a drink with you at a place where his friends and your friends aren't around and then have a real conversation with him to find out what he's up to. It'll save you a hell of a lot of trying to guess what he's up to. And Rob will probably be glad so he won't be wasting his time either.