I deleted her from Social media but I still miss her like crazy. She was my best friend. Now what?

[throwaway889]

ME POST BREAK UP

 

So it's been 3 months NC and I still miss her like crazy. Like every hour I think of her. I think of her when I go to bed and I think of her when I wake up. She was my first dating experience and I have yet to match her. She's extremely intelligent and beautiful, but she is also very selfish and irrational at times and doesn't know what she wants. I can't get her out of my mind, and have been hitting the gym and keeping my self busy as of late. But the thing is, I don't want to marry her or have any idea of making her my wife. She has too many issues, and she doesn't do commitment and That was the reason I was cagey. Could I trust someone like that. I think, part of me hoped she would change and would become committed and I would then think seriously of her. May be i'm too hopeful? May be I misread the whole thing?

 

 

I just cherish the fact that she was my significant other some period of time and that she was my best friend. I told her everything and we had amazing conversations. She liked my Instagram photos post break up and she's one of the first few to see my snapchat stories whenever I posted them. I would look at the name and it would kill me, that we weren't talking. I decided that I needed to focus on myself and my mom and so I blocked her on snapchat and instagram. I still have her on facebook, and I check that way often then I'd like to admit. But i rarely post photos on FB.

 

 

MOVING FORWARD AND GETTING HELP

 

How do I get over this? Should I call her? She's told me before the dinner that "call me or text me anytime if need to talk about your mom or anything. I'll be prayin for her." During the dinner she said "If you need anything from the hospital let me know" but it didn't feel genuine. But tbh, i felt like that was said out of guilt and what ever happened at dinner was the real deal, the other texts didn't matter. Do you have any insight on this experience? I feel alone and miss the connection. But I don't want to talk to her because I still love her or something and it would burn.

 

Tl;DR: She was to me during the break up, but was amazing to me when we were going out. She broke up with me because I "brushed her off for family and sex" and that she still wants to hook up with guys. She said that she considers me as one of her best friends and that she doesn't want it to be 1 year till we talk again. I'm having trouble moving on getting over her. Do you have any advice? I blocked her on some social media accounts to help, but I regret it.

[loveiscomplex]

Get yourself a new girl to make her feel jealous. Then tell your ex that your current gf is not as good as she was.

Now she is jealous and knows you still think about her.

 

Maybe your ex will say she wants to come back to you, maybe you will sleep together just once, or maybe nothing will happen then, but you will have a new gf and so won't worry about things so much anyway.

[throwaway889]

Ah ok, that's a good move. I've downloaded tinder and bumble and have been cruising through those dating apps. I've gotten matches, but have yet to get a date.

I see what you mean, the best way to get over someone is to get somebody to fulfill their place.

Thank you for you advice

[Everlong13]

Get yourself a new girl to make her feel jealous. Then tell your ex that your current gf is not as good as she was.

Now she is jealous and knows you still think about her.

 

Maybe your ex will say she wants to come back to you, maybe you will sleep together just once, or maybe nothing will happen then, but you will have a new gf and so won't worry about things so much anyway.

 

Not great advice.

Get a new person if you want to get a new person but don't do it to make someone jealous. That's really unfair.

[sicx]

Get yourself a new girl to make her feel jealous. Then tell your ex that your current gf is not as good as she was.

Now she is jealous and knows you still think about her.

 

Maybe your ex will say she wants to come back to you, maybe you will sleep together just once, or maybe nothing will happen then, but you will have a new gf and so won't worry about things so much anyway.

 

Yeeeh this is not really ideal.

 

Time heals all mate, all you can try and do is get on with your life. I too have been a very similar situation to you and it sucks, its the worst feeling in the world.

But you're doing the right thing keeping busy; go to the gym, spend time with family, see friends, go out - sure talk to girls, flirt / have fun / whatever but don't rush into anything else and defiantly don't get a new gf purely to make your ex jealous like this guy said, that'll just make matters 10x worse.

NC is hard, but its proven to work in the end, do not get in contact with her no matter how much you want to, focus on yourself.

Its difficult without a doubt, I 100% know what you're going through as my ex was my best friend for 6+ years, having something like that disappear is heartbreaking, but stay strong, keep focusing on yourself and push forward.

[throwaway889]

Ah ok, yeah I'll focus on my self and make sure i'm in check before getting someone new

[throwaway889]

@sicx, Ok, I guess I'll wait it out then and continue to keep myself busy. I've been away from work because I'm studying for a graduate school test, so I've been very alone lately. Usually work distracts me well. Ah ok, I won't rush into anything until i'm ready. You are right! I have to focus on myself and move forward. I can't keep holding onto the past. Time to let go, especially since this is the second time we're breaking up albeit for different reasons...but still.

 

Damn! 6 years, you most be one hardened person to get over that. I'm feel weak after a month ahh. Ok, thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it.

[Carus]

3 weeks out and I suffer greatly!

 

She too was my wife and best friend for 5 years....

 

There are plenty of videos on YouTube about the dangers of breaking NC whilst still emotionally distraught.

 

Carus*

[throwaway889]

Hey Carus, ok thank you I will go ahead and check those out. I know it will get better, and I hope it gets better for you. Your situation is way worse, and I hope you're suffering lessens like it has for me recently.

[Jillstrand23]

the thing is that you have a lot of special memories together and you want it to work out in the end but the reality of it is that you are both far away emotionally.

 

The fact is that you did the best you could to try to make it work but some things are just not meant to be. There is a reason you broke up and there is a reason for everything. I hope you will take this break-up as an opportunity to improve your own life and yourself.

 

x

jill