Breaking free of a destructive relationship when you love someone

[jbone1973]

Hi everyone

 

I have not been on here for a while but used this site allot a few years back and it was a massive help. My storey is complicated. I had been seeing my x on and off for three years with a nine month break in between after I found she had been cheating on me repeatedly with the same guy for a year. After nine months we got back together as she never stopped trying to get me back. We lasted another year but I finished it because I never trusted her after that and it was driving me mad and I was become a jealous . I found messages on her phone from another guy saying he had naughty thoughts about her and I ended it.

 

We have now split for three months but the problem I have now is she will not stop trying to get me back. She texts me multiple times every day offering sexual favours to trys to manipulate me and has lied about being ill and having counselling and will do anything to get me back. I tried to block her but when I do she just turns up at my house and will not leave. What makes it harder is that I do still love her and would love to be with her if I thought I could trust her but I know it would drive me mad and be a rubbish relationship. I am actually thinking of moving before I end up giving in and wasting another three years of my life. After a while I always start to believe that she's telling me the truth and get back with her.

 

Has anyone else had a similar situation with an actractive manipulative women that will not take no for an answer. It's a strange problem to have but it's driving me nuts and I have been close to giving in and getting back with her but I know it will end in tears.

[Seymore]

Everyone thinks their story is different but yours isn’t much more complicated than others.

 

I had a similar story that I documented on here. She chased me for a year and a half and I had to drop mutual friends, ditch social media and change my number, even go to the police when she showed up at my place. But that didn’t stop her from going around that and messaging my friends and family, trying to manipulate THEM into talking me into taking her back.

 

If you’re never going to trust her, why go back? Do you still communicate with her at all? Are you Facebook friends?

[SweetGirl28]

She's lied to you about being ill! Don't even reconsider this.

The pattern won't change. And you'll end up wasting more of your life with her.

 

If I were you I'd threaten her with a restraining order to keep her away from where you live.

Moving is so drastic. She will find you anyway since she has an obsessive personality.

[cherubrock]

Bad idea...you should move on. You already know what you need to do, you already know what's gonna happen.

[jbone1973]

Even when I was with her for the last year we were not friends on Facebook as it made me jelous because there were guys I knew she had been seeing in between. She is now blocked and I have deleted anyone that is a mutual friend. She can still email me . I tried to block them but it haven't worked. If she thinks I block her it actually make sure it worse as she just comes to my house. It's hard because I do have feelings for her but know it's a destructive relationship. I'm hoping with time it will get better although last time it went on for a year

[Seymore]

Even when I was with her for the last year we were not friends on Facebook as it made me jelous because there were guys I knew she had been seeing in between. She is now blocked and I have deleted anyone that is a mutual friend. She can still email me . I tried to block them but it haven't worked. If she thinks I block her it actually make sure it worse as she just comes to my house. It's hard because I do have feelings for her but know it's a destructive relationship. I'm hoping with time it will get better although last time it went on for a year

 

Talk to the police. An officer at my department actually phoned my ex warning her not to contact me or I’d have grounds for a restraining order.