I'm in pain. Need your advice

[Cerberius]

Hello everybody.

 

I've been in a relationship with a girl for the last 4.5 years. We've met on an online chat. I was just graduated school and felt lonely so I quickly got addicted to talking to her every day. We shortly got to the point when we were chatting almost the whole day. Sometimes at night. She was funny, smart and we had a lot of common topics to talk about but soon I realised that she was out of my league. She was popular at school, had many friends, partying a lot. In general she is a very social person unlike me, who is a loner and has social anxiety. Because of this I did not know how to feel about me falling in love with her. I think I should cut off our relationship back then. After a year or so we've met in real life. Over time, our meets became more frequent and longer even though at the time she was living 200 miles from me. Soon it became more physical (like holding hands in a movie, tickling, etc). I remember thinking that event though I have no chance, at least we are going to be good friends. Then we kissed. Then we ed. And I was hooked. For some reason I thought maybe these actions meant something for her too. When I asked her about this, she said she dont love me and that she doesnt love or loved anyone in the past except her mom. I accepted that I cannot change anything. I still had her as a friend.

 

But then something changed. I dont know what. I've found a fulltime job that I always wanted, so my time to chat with her on weekdays became limited. I also became more jelous about seeing her flirting with other guys, but she always replied that unlike me, they mean nothing to her (whats the point of talking with them then? ) . I guess she just got bored with me. She moved to other country. Shes still talking with me, she still wants to hang out with me, but most of the time when I try to talk with her, shes ignoring me. I feel like our chats now have no substance, she writes back to me after a couple of hours, sometimes doesint respond at all. Even when we meet shes spending more time on her smartphone then talking with me. She just doesnt care about me or how I feel at all.

 

I dont remember a day when I wasnt thinking about her. I realise that this is unhealthy. Even now, I keep looking to my phone waiting for her to answer. Were going to meet next month, I'm thinking of somehow breaking this relationship then because I cant take this anymore. Maybe someone of you been in this kind of situation, please share your thoughts.

 

 

 

P.S.

 

Excuse my English.

[DanZee]

I had a similar relationship. After about a year of on-off dating, I asked her if she cared about me. She said she cared about me about as much as anyone else. I made a fool of myself. I don't even remember what I said, but I knew I was wasting my time. I saw her just one more time before she graduated and suggested she call me after she was out if she wanted. She never did.

 

You're in a similar situation. It's nice being around her and texting her, but she doesn't really feel anything for you. She's emotionally indifferent. You're not going to change that. You should look for someone else to hang around.