1.5 years/ Rebounds/ I Just Want Her Back

[notjustin]

I have been in a relationship with a girl for 1.5 years, and after a bad fight, she decided to leave me.

 

Three days prior to the breakup, we had an amazing date. We went shopping, took cute pictures in a photo booth, teared up and said we deeply love each other in the photo booth, and had sex and feel asleep to a movie until I had to drive back home.

 

Three days after the date, she broke up with me over an argument, which I found was stupid. We just went back and forth about, "I seriously don't like your guy friend." (Because I was so sure her friend had a crush on her) We broke up, and for the whole week we talked about being together, not right now, but in the future. {I just need time} {I'll give you your space, but I really hope I can be your guy again} {Me too And that's where I decided say "Maybe now isn't the time to talk then." and went no contact. We unfriended each other off of everything.

 

Two weeks post BU, I broke no contact and I decided to talk to her again. She hit me back with the, "Maybe now isn't the time to talk." I kept trying to hold a conversation, she replied, but with short messages. It was a VERY short conversation (2 hours, 5 minutes+ to respond), and I went no contact again.

 

Again, two weeks post BU, I basically found a rebound girl to help cope me through this. Meanwhile, I asked a friend about her and he tells me, "Yea man, she's got a thing with that guy you were worried about." She was infuriated with my friend when he found out. "Are you already going for another guy?" "What are you gonna do about it? Tell Justin? Go ahead."

(Keep In Mind I'm Blocked And I Guess She's TRYING To Somehow Make Me Jealous Because I Can't View Her Pics Or Text Her)

 

After another two weeks at NC, she contacted me. There were rumors spreading around her UNI that she was unfaithful to me for finding a new guy so quick and blah blah blah. She only reached out to me to argue, but I didn't spread anything. I couldn't even respond to her messages because I was blocked. She texted, "CAN YOU JUST STOP AND LEAVE ME ALONE.", but 2 minutes later she texted, "Hello?" because I couldn't respond (I'm blocked, she can send messages but I can't).

 

In short, we've just been broken up for a month,

Week 1) Breakup, Still Have Feelings, Started No Contact

Week 2) Broke No Contact, Short Conversations, Her and I Found Rebounds, Started No Contact Again

Week 3) NC (She Finds Out About my Rebound And Thinks I Had Sex With Her) (Or At Least I THINK This Is Where She Found Out)

Week 4) Halfway NC, She Starts To Accuse Me Of Rumors In Her UNI

 

Reasons Why I Think She Somewhat Still Cares

1. She INITIALLY Cared During The BU
   
2. She Retweeted A Post About "People Need To Fall Apart To Realize How Much They Need to Fall Back Together" During The First Week
   
3. I Was Her First Serious Relationship, And Maybe The G.I.G.S Is Kicking In
   
4. We Have Planned Out A Future Together, She Lost Her Virginity To Me, She Always Seemed To Care So Much, Even Up Until The BU
   
5. Despite Blocking Each Other On Every Social Media Platform, She Somehow Knew I Was Talking to Another Girl
   

 

Reasons Why I Think She Doesn't Care

1. Post Second Week, She Hasn't Made An Attempt To Reach Out, Or Even Be Nice
   
2. All Of Her Friends Are Telling Me Shes Over Me (It Was A 1.5 yr Relationship How Could She Move On So Quickly?)
   
3. Maybe It Isn't G.I.G.S And She Had This Guy Lined Up
   
4. She Didn't Really Love Me Through This Time Together
   
5. She Told Me She Doesn't Care About Me Anymore (During The Whole "Rumors About Me" Argument)
   

 

Extras

• We Did Have Our Fights Here And There, We Weren't Perfect But We Loved Eachother
  
• She Says She Mainly Broke Up With Me Because Of An Argument That Happened 7 Months Ago And Didn't Want To Argue Anymore (I Went Out With Friends, She Thinks I Cheated, I Didn't)
  
• She Says She Can't Trust Me Because Of That Time I Went Out 7 Months Ago But She Continued Dating Me Afterwards?? (Finding A Reason?)
  
• She Isn't The Girl To Say Sorry, Shes A Bit Stubborn. Even If She Wanted To Get Back Together, I Know For Sure She Would Hesitate 80 Times Before Texting Me, Wanting To Reconcile
  
• She Still Has My Clothes, So Hopefully Those Can Remind Her Of Me (Two Weeks Post BU, I Kind Of Asked For My Clothes Back, She Said I Could Pick Them Up Whenever And That They Still Smelled Like Me)
  
• We Both Still Hold A Copy Of The Photo Booth Picture, Hopefully She Didn't Throw it Out
  
• She a bit wonky, she has almost monthly panic attacks, mood swings, and anxiety (Was This Breakup An Impulse And Shes Too Scared To Say Sorry?)
  
• I'm also acting cold, saying I have moved on somewhat, and yes, I am using a rebound to help me through this (Is She Doing The Same?)
  

 

All I'm hoping for right now is that she misses me/ is thinking about me (Although She Says She Doesn't Care). I guess I was right for being suspicious about this guy, they've only known each other for two months. I feel like now that I'm out of the picture, he's making his move, being her shoulder to cry on, that's why I think they're a thing, flirting with each other a lot. (Or So I've Been Told)

 

I don't know, maybe I just came here to tell my stupid story. What do you guys think? I REALLY want her back because I at least think she was the best, but now that I'm seeing her move on that quick, I feel like I'm half way there of moving on myself.

 

P.S.

My rebound knows shes a rebound, I told her but she said "As long as it takes for you to make it through this, I'll be here." . It's a long term friend helping me through this, but she lives 5 hours away now. It started as just help, then cute messages, the mushy messages, and now she wants to meet up with me again and hang out soon.

[Edmund Exley]

You need to let go of the rebound, and work on getting over the ex. Stop rationalizing that she is coming back. Stay No Contact and leave it be.

[MissCanuck]

You need to let go of the rebound, and work on getting over the ex. Stop rationalizing that she is coming back. Stay No Contact and leave it be.

 

I agree with all of the above.

 

Your rebound is under the impression that you will wind up with her once you're over your ex. You and she have very different ideas about what a rebound entails.

 

As for your ex, well, she sounds immature and inexperienced. People don't let go of someone they really want in their lives. If she truly didn't want this break-up, it wouldn't have happened. My guess is that you were probably right that something was brewing between her and this new guy friend of hers. As such, you can't really compare your respective "rebounds", as you're with different people for very different reasons.

 

It would be best to stay single, not give this rebound false hope (which I guarantee you she already has) and let her go too. Be on your own for a while. It won't be fun, but learning to work through a break-up independently is a also a great learning experience.

[Young mind]

Rebounds are never a good idea, it’s just terrible, I have been there, the way the rebound kisses you or whatever will be compared, take some time off, chill out, ofc you can speak to women but keep it cordial, they love such opportunities to ‘make you get over your ex gf’ but it’s not worth it.

Work on yourself , evaluate yourself, are you were you would like to be?, do you have goals ?, can you set some goals for the next month?

Work on yourself, women are women , feelings change , and that’s what you will see and accept.