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How can I get over my ex boyfriend? What’s your view on the situation?


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I’ll try to keep this as short as possible... my ex boyfriend and I were together for 2 years, I loved him so much and I would of done anything for him. I was so happy and content with him, and really wanted us to have a future. However, like other relationships, we had our ups and downs.


My ex boyfriend ended up breaking up with me, it was hard. It’s been 2 months and we’ve still kept in contact, at first we were even still sleeping with eachother afterwards - I just wanted to feel close with him still. He said we needed to stop, 3 days later he is seen with another girl who he is still seeing to this day. We had sex on Wednesday, I know it’s bad but I have no loyalties to her and I still love him so I did it. The next day, he told me how he had sex with her last week. I felt so angry and used, so I told her. She forgave him, telling him to never talk to me again, and long story short he pretty much chose her over me.


I just don’t understand, he said to me how he felt our relationship was “getting too serious and he needed to take a step back”. He said this new girl he’s seeing is aware that he “doesn’t want anything serious” and that “there’s no point in commiting your life to one person” I find it very hard to believe that she’s okay with that view. I mean, what’s the point if you know it’s going to end?


It’s not like he’s a bad guy either, when we said goodbye for good yesterday he even started to cry when I was saying how I miss certain things, and how it hurts knowing he’ll now treat her the way he used to treat me.


It’s been so hard. I’m losing so much weight, I feel depressed. I have nobody, and I don’t want to do anything with myself.


Advice please?

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OP, he's not exactly a good guy if he's sleeping with both his ex and his new girl, while almost definitely lying to one or both of you about the nature of your relationships. You can't assume he's being honest with you about what he's told her about their budding relationship.


Good guys don't have sex with exes who are clearly still in love with them, knowing they still don't want to reconcile. Good guys recognize that it's not fair to play with someone's heart like that.


You need to knock him down off that pedestal, in other words. He's not the amazing person you think he is.

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I really do feel “blinded by love”. Despite everything, I know I’d take him back and it hurts so much knowing he’s treating her how he used to treat me.


I was the one who initiated the sex, at first he said he couldn’t because he’d “feel bad”, it ended up happening anyway, and afterwards he told me not to tell anyone, but obviously I told her after finding out he had been sleeping with us both.

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Thank you, I appreciate your advice. Do you really think he wants to be with that girl? I get the vibe that they do like eachother, and he told me he enjoys spending time with her. I just don’t understand his outlook of not being able to commit to one girl for the rest of his life, if that’s the case with her and she is aware then it’s just building up to disappointment for them both.

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Yes, I think he wants to be with her. At least for now.


As I said before, don't presume that he's telling you the truth about what he's told her. He might be telling her a completely different story, leading her to believe there is a future. It might be you that he is BS-ing, so as not to make himself look bad for dumping you and starting a new relationship so quickly. You can't take what he says as gospel truth.


In any event, what they have or don't have isn't your concern. What matters is that you start taking better care of yourself, which will include cutting him off and not spending so much time wondering how or if they're progressing.

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