A really cunfusing relationship

[farawaygirl]

Hi guys. First I want to say that I'm new here, and I'm not a native english speaker so I'm really sorry if I spell something wrong.

I was looking for a place where I can share my problem, because I seriously don't know what to do. My story is very long but I try to write it down as short as I can.

I liked a boy, we were 20 years old and it was 2 years ago... so I really liked him since we met but I was really shy to do anything. A few months later he asked me out and I was happy and excited about it. Also he was the first guy who I completely fell in love with. Our dates were amazing for me and I felt like we are perfect for each other. After a few weeks I felt that there's something wrong. He told me that he's really sorry but even if he likes me we can't continue dating because he had a big heartbreak not so long ago and he's not over the other girl. I was truly heartbroken and things got more complicated when I found out that the other girl was my best friend, who actually has a boyfriend but she and the boy who I liked they had something behind her boyfriends back. Anyway for me it was very difficoult because I still loved him and we met in every week because we had classes together. It was awkward but we tried to be cool because we didn't want our mutual friends to have to deal with our sort of break up.

Now one and a half year later I can say that I am fine. I was madly in love with him but I accepted that we were not ment to be together. Sometimes I still have hard moments around him but we became friends... not close friends but I thought if that is the best we can do than it's fine. It's hard to explain but still I always felt some connection between us. Somehow there was always some chemistry even if we didn't see each other for months.

Now we were out with our friends and he was different all night long ... like he cared about me. We talked and he called me on my nickname for the first time. In the end it was just the two of us and something happened.

It was the most intimate experience in my life even if we didn't get that far. It was unexpected but I loved every moment of it. A few days later we talked about it and he said that it was just fun and I still have a lot of things that I have to experience in my life... of course I was disappointed but I didn't regret it after all. One of our mutual friends asked me about it and I told her everything. She said that I should try to talk to him again but I don't know if it's worth it. I think about him a lot again and I wish he would feel the same thing.. that night it seemed that he did but he wouldn't lie about his feelings so I'm not sure if me talking to him again would make any sense.

Maybe if I wouldn't have anything to lose than I would tell him that I still like him but now that we are kind of friends it's risky. But maybe our friendship wouldn't even work... I mean friens don't do what we did that night.

I don't know what to do. My mind says I should let him go because he said in that text message that it was just it, but in person he's always different. Also I know that I still have feelings for him and my friend said that I should talk to him. Still I'm really scared of being rejected again but also I'm afraid that I miss the oportunity and he will eventually move on. It's a mess. I know that sometimes I'm not that open person and it takes time until someone can get to know me, but we never really had that much time. This is what I feel bad about the most, that he doesn't even know who I really am. Maybe he still thinks that I am a kind and nice person but I feel like I'm so much more... He is difficoult to deal with to, but I just don't know what I should do next. If I don't do anything it means that I let that go...

Anyway, thank you for reading this. What are your thoughts?

[DanZee]

Don't over-romanticize what happened. Boys are driven primarily by physical sensation so while you were having an intimate moment he was just doing what comes naturally to him. And there's a thing called ex-sex where former lover meet up and because they have all this residual feeling for each other, it's very easy for them to be together one last time. Don't read more into it than it was. It's sounds like the relationship, other than being friends, is over.

[farawaygirl]

I understand. This is what I think to if I want to be honest with myself, but I wanted to be sure that no one says that there's still hope. Even if this is the situation, for me it's ok, I don't have any regrets, I just hope that I will find the right one to finally forget him.