Ex gf breacrumbs? what should i do ?

[Noodlecup]

So I was with this girl for almost a decade, we broke up 2 years & a half ago

We stayed friends because it seemed like none of us were able to cut off contact right away. We would see each other few times, once or twice a month, texted a bit too.

 

During those 2.5 years i didn't try to date anyone, no dates, no sex, no going out, didn't have the heart or the will, still don't have it today. I would only go out to see her, didn't want to see friends or even go out because people's relationships reminded me too much of what i had & missed. I also tried at first but gave up as i felt like i was a burden to them, was looking or talking too depressed idk. So i isolated myself, stayed at home.

 

Few months ago my texts started to go unanswered (they were already but to a lesser extent) ignored, or she would reply to them after days, sometimes weeks, even when i wasn't the one initiating contact. I would reply to her texts only to get ignored after or get a short answer. Either saying that she was really busy or didn't have time (but she had the time to change her social media pic every 3 days) .

 

At first i decided that because of this i wouldn't initiate texts or contact. She continued to text, a lot less, but still. Again, sometime when i would reply i wouldn't get an answer, or only days/weeks after. . I decided then that it wasn't very healthy for me so decided to leave her alone & go NC for few months.

 

I didn't hear from her for 3 months, she seemed to go on well with her life from what i could see on whatsapp/fb or hear from friends/mutual friends (travels, going out with "friends", night events, staying fit etc). Not a single message.

 

 

Few days ago i receive a text from her saying that she missed me & that she thought about me a lot lately. I know about safetynet checks, ego boosts, water testing & all those merry things. Worst scenario, she was dating someone & it didn't go well. Didn't reply. Don't know what to reply.

We're few days later now, & she didn't try reaching out again, but she did change her profile pic, her with hearts... What is this, provocation ?

 

Thing is, i don't want to believe yet that our relationship could be reduced to silly mind games, even after BU, but i have a hard time believing that she genuinely misses me.

What do you think she's trying to do ? What would you say or do, or not do ?

[Giblesp]

Dont accept breadcrumbs. You tell her that your not interested in friendship, she can contact you if she changes her mind. Then kepp walking. This is the most healthy and painless way to handle these things.

[SweetGirl28]

Sorry to say, but why don't you block her?

You clearly have not moved on from her.

She's playing a game. If she loved you, she'd never wait so long to contact you.

She might be bored, lonely, looking for attention. Who knows.

She knows where you are if she wants you. Go on about your life and find true happiness.

[Noodlecup]

Dont accept breadcrumbs. You tell her that your not interested in friendship, she can contact you if she changes her mind. Then kepp walking. This is the most healthy and painless way to handle these things.

 

Sorry to say, but why don't you block her?

You clearly have not moved on from her.

She's playing a game. If she loved you, she'd never wait so long to contact you.

She might be bored, lonely, looking for attention. Who knows.

She knows where you are if she wants you. Go on about your life and find true happiness.

 

 

Thanks for writing back. I didn't accept her breadcrumbs. We didn't really agree on being friends, it just occured, kinda. It's only lately that it started to feel like breadcrumbs so here I am trying to figure what's the purpose/motive behind it. And yes I wasn't able to move on because i still do love & miss her. Still didn't reply.

 

I don't even know what i'm expecting, i'd gladly accept the truth & move on if i knew what it was.

 

You guys are probably right any way so i guess i'll keep NC & try to move on. If she really misses me guess she'll do something about it.

 

PS: I don't want to block or be rude to her so i'd rather stay NC, but i'll keep in mind what you guys wrote.

[ShatteredMan]

Dont accept breadcrumbs. You tell her that your not interested in friendship, she can contact you if she changes her mind. Then kepp walking. This is the most healthy and painless way to handle these things.

 

Amen. Do this.